Sunday, August 21, 2005

Baby I need to tell you sumpthin'

If you've read my blog for anytime now, you know I'm a Veggie-Tales fan. And if you've seen the Veggie-Tales story "The Ballad of Little Joe", then you've seen the song "No Belly Button". The chorus goes "Baby, I need to tell you sumpthin' - I ain't got no belly button. Belly button - no, no no nooooo...."

Well, coming into my surgery, I was warned that there may be a small chance that this would be my theme song. See, the standard practice with a tummy tuck or panniculectomy (which is an extreme tummy tuck that removes a lot of skin and fat tissue, which is what I had) is to simply move the patient's existing belly button up to a new location. Barring that, the plastic surgeon will "create" a new belly button for the patient. In rare cases, this isn't possible and the patient is left without a belly button and with a new theme song.

After my surgery, Dr. R., the plastic surgeon, came out to talk with my mom and tell her how the operation went. He explained that everything went really well. She anxiously asked "does she have a belly button?" Dr. R. replied with a smile, "Oh yes. We found her a cute little belly button."

Upon hearing this, I had a mental picture of the doctor pointing to a belly button hiding in a corner and saying, "there, pick that one up and dust it off; we'll use that." When I saw him the next day, I told him this and got a good chuckle out of him. I told him that I thought my stitches were opening up and when he looked, he told me "no, your stitches are fine; that's your belly button!"

The only problem was, I forgot to ask him a very important question. I had to wait a whole week before I went to see him again. When I saw him, I asked my very important question: Is this my belly button or did you make one for me? He told me that he was able to move my navel to a new position. He just cut around it and then cut a hole in the "new" spot and sewed it in (compare it to putting a pocket in the waistband of a pair of pants). He explained that my belly button kind of "accordions" its way to the surface.

I gave a relieved sigh and told him the punchline I'd been waiting all week to use: "Oh good. I've been wondering and wondering if you made one or used mine. Is it real or Memorex? Only her plastic surgeon knows for sure!"

So, I don't have a new theme song, but we have been singing the Veggie-Tales song with a twist: "Baby I need to show you sumpthin' - I still got a belly button!"

Here's some comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
I love your punchline! You could also have used "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." :D
I wonder if there are as many possible theme songs for your belly button as there are for my street!

Sandy said...
You've got a great sense of humor. I have a feeling if we had met IRL and not the great blog-o-sphere, we'd have been buds. ;)

princssis said...
Sorry I have to say this, but your sense of humor, especially about the health topic, reminds me of GranDee. :)

Indigo said...
LMAO!!! That is hilarious!!! How would you feel if it wasn't your belly button though?

Lindsey said...
haha...that's so funny! Can you ever imagine how weird we'd look without belly buttons? Can't even imagine.

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