Tuesday, November 1, 2005

If You Don't, Dont.

When Champs and I got married, we had a lot of fun getting him acquainted to life in the big city. Having come from a small town to this HUGE metropolis area, he had a lot to learn just in terms of getting to know how to get where he was going. This was in 1999 and Mapquest, thankfully, was a mainstay at that time.

He did pretty well; he quickly learned all the routes to home, family, work and the local grocery stores and restaurants. After he'd been here a few months, he got a new job installing office furniture. That job nearly got him in trouble. See, every morning he had to call in to find out where that day's assignment was and then meet his team there. As long as they sent Champs to Minneapolis and points north, he did OK. But when they sent him to St. Paul and other points east, he got very nervous - and sometimes, lost. To put it mildly, he HATED having to go to St. Paul, Mapquest not withstanding.

One day he was told to go to St. Paul. He nicely asked to be reassigned, but they said (succinctly) NO. He then asked for directions to get to the site. They gave him a list of directions that seemed to make sense so he headed out. Once he was on the freeway, he couldn't find the "crosstown" no matter what he did. The people there forgot that he's not a native and didn't tell him that he needed "62 east" - they used the local jargon.

After driving around for an hour or so, he found his way home and used Mapquest. That solved the Highway 62 mystery and got him to St. Paul. However, once the got close, the street he needed seemed to disappear. He followed the map. He called the office. He stopped and asked the locals. No matter what he tried, he couldn't find his way to the site. Finally at around noon, he gave up. He went home, called in and told them he couldn't find the site no matter what he did and that he would not be in that day.

The next day he called in for his assignment. Oh no, St. Paul again! My normally sweet, mild tempered hubby lost it. He stomped around. He slammed the refridgerator door shut. He kicked the bedroom door - and he let loose with language and opinions so unsavory that I was in shock.

I put up with this as calmly as possible as I got ready for work. I tried to cheer him up and see the bright side. I told him to take our car since it was a more comfortable drive. He agreed that he would drop me off at the bus stop on his way out. I mapped the route for him on Mapquest since he was too angry to do so. I did my best to help make it all better for him, but it wasn't enough. All the time, he kept up his pity party.

Finally. I. Had. Enough.

"Stop it!", I told him. "OK, so they are jerks for not remembering that you're new and they're jerks for sending you to St. Paul. I've already pulled it up on Mapquest and this one is easy. You toured the city yesterday, so you know where you're going. You are being a brat and I've had enough! You're an adult. Now start acting like one!" I gave him one last glare and stomped out to the car.

Champs came out and quietly got into the car, much subdued. He drove me to the bus stop in silence. I was too mad to do much talking. When we got to the bus stop, I got out of the car and then leaned back in. I told him in a pretty deadpan voice, "I love you... VERY MUCH. If you get in a better mood, call me. If you don't, DON'T."

Funny thing, he called me about 3 hours later, his mood much improved.

We still laugh about that morning to this day. And if one of us says, "I Love you. Very much", the other one generally laughs and asks, "Oh no, what did I do now?"

Here's a few comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
That's hilarious...in a very compassionate way of course. ;)

kenju said...
What a sweet story. Our direction flaps (and there are many, since hubs is directionally challenged) usually end in a spate of name-calling and shouting.

Shannin said...
As a non-native the whole 35W and 35E had me all confused, especially because they run north and south! Don't get me started on Eden Prairie Drive (which is a huge circle...).

Holly said...
heehee. next time i'm mad at husband i'll just tell him i love him. very much.

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