Warning: This is the post that the Geekwif didn't think I would have the nerve to write. Or maybe she just hoped that I would have the good sense not to post it. Not a chance! This has been brewing since August and baby, it demands to be written! This may be TMI; if you don't want to read about my underwear, turn back! Turn back now!
As you know (if you are a loyal reader or captive family member), I have lost 120 pounds by gastric bypass (it was 2 years ago on October 16) and I had a mother-of-all-tummy-tucks this last July 29. From a size 26-28, I am now a size 10-12. And, for the first time since I was 13 years old, I have a flat tummy. A gloriously, wondrously, mostly flat tummy (no, don't think Kate Hudson; think Renee' Zelwiger in "Bridget Jones' Diary"). To someone who has been trim all their life, I am nothing special. As someone who has found herself for the first time in years, I am a marvel, I think. (Sidebar: I was explaining this to Smoothie at work today. I am not full of pride, I am just in amazement, pure and simple. She's given me a month to get over this. She says if I continue feeling this way by then, it will be pride.)
Now, the interesting thing about this new tummy and new shape of mine is that suddenly, fantastically, a whole new world has opened up to me: The world of underwear.
As a child, I wore cotton briefs. Prior to the gastric bypass, I wore cotton briefs. After the gastric bypass, the briefs got smaller, but still, I wore briefs. I had no choice. Without providing too nasty of a mental picture, just realize that there was a reason I had the tummy tuck: extra fat and skin. LOTS OF SKIN! All that skin had to be covered and that meant briefs. For me, the only "spice" to my underwear was what pattern I wore on any given day.
A few weeks after the grand tummy tuck, however, I had a dilemma. All of my underwear (and I do mean all of it), was too big! My "Just My Size" wasn't just my size anymore. I would pull up my pants and extra underwear would "pooch" out the waistband in the back. Ever seen anyone make the "tucking in" motion and it wasn't a shirt they were tucking? That's picking the Fruit O' the Loom, baby.
Not only that, but the smaller pants I was buying were hitting me lower on my body. Instead of raising 2-3 inches above my natural waist like size 26 pants did, the size 12 pants were hitting about an inch below. All of a sudden, if I wasn't careful, people were getting a commercial every time I lifted my arms; "Oh, look, it's Hanes Her Way! Are those comfortable, dearie?"
The kicker was the pink sweats I bought to recover in. Tied at the waist, they only reached to my lower-calf. Dropped down and tied at mid-hip, however, they reached my ankles and looked pretty cute, too. However, that extra two-inch band of briefs sitting above the sweats was not what you would call fetching.
Yes, clearly it was time to go underwear shopping.
Like Fat Albert at an Old Country Buffet, I descended on the Target lingerie department. Forget the kid in the candy shop; I was in heaven! I bought my first EVER bikinis! In pink, my signature color! I never even had these when I was a kid. When I got home and put them on, I was amazed; they didn't show above the waist of my pants. They covered the scar I have running from hip to hip and they showcased my new $25,000.000 belly button (which I fought the insurance company for 6 months to cover as a justifiable medical expense, thank you very much)! How could one scrap of pink cotton make me so happy?
Next I got sporty banded hi-cuts. These are just plain fun! No more worrying about where they cut across the tummy; just dress and run. You never had it so good when wearing a skirt or pair of shorts.
When I went to Walmart for some school clothes for Sweet Girl, I had to stop at the underwear aisle, of course. There I found something so amazing, so cute, so unexpected that I had to try them: Boxer Briefs for girls! Now, I've been buying boxer briefs for Champs for years. As he says, "they have the comfort of a boxer with the security of a brief. They're the best of both worlds!" However, when I saw them for girls, I nearly made a noise. An out-loud happy noise! I don't do that (well, not in public when I'm alone, anyway)! Well, of course, I had to buy them. I was required to buy them. It would have been criminal to walk away from those cute underwear. I took them home, and let me just say that Champs doesn't look like that in his boxer-briefs (Thank God)! They're the best for no panty lines and are oh-so comfortable for sleeping.
Next up, I think, will be the hip huggers or maybe I'll even get wild and try some string bikinis. I might even splurge and buy the department store varieties like Jockey and Maidenform, instead of just Hanes and Fruit of the Loom. Although I am a cotton-loyal customer, I think I will try some lace and silk along the way. I've turned into an underwear junkie; the cuter, the better. There's nothing I won't try.
Except a thong. Or animal prints. The Blond Girl doesn't go there, at any weight!
And here are some comments from that post:
Russ said...
This story is AWESOME!! I had no idea that you have gone down this path. Good for you and your new cute figure.
But I have two words for you... Victoria's Secret
The man in your life will thank me.
MissMeliss said...
This whole story is so cool, but what I really want to know is: how did you PAY for gastric bypass?
Holly said...
so far i've lost 99 pounds. still another hundred or more to go. I need new undies though. mine look horrible.
one day i'll have the TT and the flat belly. and i'm gonna get it PIERCED. and wear pretty panties too.
love seeing other people's journeys turning out like i hope mine will...
yellojkt said...
I think we need pictures. Not necessarily with you in them. Just spread them around on the bed and take a few shots. We'll pick the best ones. ;b
Suzy said...
I totally agree with you on thongs...how can girls wear those? I was in my daughter's room picking up towels to throw in the washer...walked out of the room and down the hallway...but something was stuck to my little toe. What was it? One of her THONGS!!! LOL =)
Oreo said...
Go for the thong chicky!!! You'll love them. Even if you only put it on for 10 minutes as you're going to bed......
Shannin said...
I can hardly wait to lose enough weight to get new cute undies. I did OK with the microfiber ones from LB - not too granny looking...
Thumper said...
I am so much NOt the giry girl...If manage to lose the weight I want, I highly suspect my new undies will look just like my old ones. I'm too old for sexy LOL
GranDee said...
In this new world.... you can now get matching.... ahhhhh let's just say "tops and bottoms" now, huh? :-)
kenju said...
What has happened to you? Did all your clones rise up and smite you??
Alisha said...
How wonderful for you! Undies are so much fun...when I was about 21 I discovered the Victoria's Secret is that she's not just for skinny-minny's. I'm a size 18 right now and the x-large's fit perfect. Have fun with your new tummy, I applaud you!
Smiley said...
Congrats on the new you!!!!! go for the VS undies they are very pretty....makes wallyworld and target undies look like bargain basement goodies....lol
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