5 Days in Forks

I should have been writing all this week (goodness knows there's enough material around here, what with Champs out of work, Grandma B visiting for the summer and work at The Big Company becoming a bit stressful), but I haven't been. Why? Because on Sunday afternoon my slightly obsessive personality and I went to the library.

And I found The Twilight Saga - the first three books.

Now, I had decided long ago not to see the movie. I'd seen the previews, read about the teenage devotion to Robert Pattison, saw the fervor for all things Edward and Bella... it seemed as though it would hold no interest for me, a nice mature mom and customer service representative. Also, I'm a Christian. There's more edifying things to watch than a movie about vampires, right? Right.

But then one day about 4 months ago, I was going through YouTube looking at snippets of TV shows when I found the entire Twilight movie posted in parts. I watched it and was surprised that it turned out to be pretty good. Nothing life changing, but I enjoyed it. And then forgot - until last Sunday.

Walking through the shelves, I didn't see anything of interest. I was in a mood for a romance, but I didn't see anything that caught my eye. I've already read every romance by my favorite author, Catherine Anderson and didn't feel like a repeat visit. That's when I saw the display of Twilight books - the first three, anyway. I decided to get them. I figured it could do no harm; unlike witchcraft, which is real and forbidden, these books were a story about vampires - fictional beings.

And oh! What a story! The first book, Twilight, was so much better than the movie ever thought of being. And each story after that was better than the last. Geekwif, who knows me well, warned me not to stay up all night reading. And I didn't - much. I only read until 1:30 or so each morning. And between calls, during breaks, at the pool, before and after meals, and while the family watched TV... The books pulled me in and wouldn't let me go. By dint of my friendship with the librarian, I was able to get the last book, Breaking Dawn, on Wednesday evening and finished it - all 750 pages or so - by Thursday night.

Stephanie Meyer is a wonderful author, and the world she created in Forks, Washington, is amazing. But I must say that I am glad to have returned from Forks and come back to my life in Champaign. Now I'm free to go obsess about something else.

Although - I hope she decides to write Jacob and Renesmee's story sometime!

Slug Bug Blue

When I was a child - three, maybe 4 years old - my mother drove a baby blue Volkswagen Beetle. A blue bug. I have vague memories of riding around in the back seat of the bug, strapped into a blue vinyl and steel bar car seat that had as much chance of ripping the skin off the back of my thighs as it did of saving my life in the event of an accident.

My clearer memories of the bug - when I was, oh about 12 years old - are of pieces of the car scattered in various corners of our garage. Apparently the motor needed to be fixed. My father owned a gas station and was a mechanic, but like the proverbial shoeless children of the cobbler, our car was neglected in favor of more important things. Finally my dad pulled out the pieces and sold them off just to erase that project from his to-do list.

My mom is in town, and we've introduced her to the family obsession with playing "Slug Bug". One day on the road we saw a baby blue bug, which brought up our ill-fated beetle. And Mom told us a story.

When I was a baby, my mom had two Great Danes, a brother and a sister named Hercules and Sari. My mother's cousin, G Elaine, was a foster mother to 4 children with Down Syndrome. For some reason, these large dogs always charmed and calmed the kids when they were having a bad day. On such a day, G Elaine called my mom and asked her to bring the dogs over to help with the kids. Mom agreed, and not having the family sedan at her disposal, took me and the dogs in the bug.

After a successful day with the kids, we headed home - 25 miles away by freeway in rush hour traffic. When Mom was almost home, she saw lights in the rear view mirror; a cop was pulling her over! She checked her speed, her lane - anything she could think of, but everything was normal. When she got pulled over, she asked the officer what was the matter.

"Oh, nothing", replied the officer. "But when I saw this tiny car with these two big dog heads sticking out of the sun roof, I just had to see it for myself!" Slug Bug blue, indeed!

Getting my (satilite) signals crossed

So yesterday my husband found this pretty yellow glass ball on a ribbon hanging from a stand. He found it on CraigsList for free and asked me if I would like it. I said sure. Today he got a message saying that we weren't first to ask, but no one had come for it, so whoever got there first could have it. Classic CraigsList, right?

I grabbed the address and hopped into my car. The TomTom needed a few moments to warm up and I knew the first half of the trip, so I started on my way. About the time my TomTom was ready to go my phone rang. It was my sister-in-law, Princsiss - only she sounded really confused. I sounded really confused. Her reason was that she thought she was calling our Mother-in-law. My reason was that I had reached the point where I needed to get the directions from the TomTom before I could go any further. At this point, the conversation kinda... faltered.

Me: Yeah, so I'm, ah well, I getting this glass ball. Yeah, mom is here fine. Dang, I need to go to, um, I don't know. Wait. I gotta pull into this parking lot. OK. I need to get onto Church but I don't.. darn! It says it's waiting for a valid signal! Hmmm. I guess you're probably thinking how blond I am right now, huh? Oh wait. I got it. Oh, I see. I have to turn on your dad's street. Not the street he lived on; the one named after him.."

Princsiss: So you're mom is in then? What are you doing? What? hahahahahahahahaha. Maybe I should go and let you figure this out.

And like that. I guess it's a good thing I pulled over, because I could barely carry on a conversation, let alone find my way to the apartment with the glass ball. All that for a 6 minute trip!

Editor's Note: Yes, I did get glass ball. It is quite pretty.

My time line is wavy

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. ~Faith Baldwin

My parents were married in 1955 and the kids followed quickly; 1956, 1958, and 1959 each saw a new child. By the time the third one rolled around, the doctor pulled my father into the office and explained to him that he had to stop getting Mom pregnant; after three so quickly, another one would likely kill her.

I'm sure Mom didn't mind the break, either, what with three in diapers at once.

But medical science and young motherhood being what they are, eventually my mother forgot to take the pill one December morning. And, nearly six years after everyone else, I came along. And with my birth came my struggle with time, wondering where and how I fit into the continuum.

By now, my brothers were 6 and 7 years old, and my sister was 9. Growing up, I remember crying in my mother's arms that I was born too late - I didn't fit in. Everyone was so much older than me. My sister, Techno-Goddess, thought of me as a living doll. She mothered me, played school and taught me to read, and taught me every song on Elton John's album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. My brothers basically just beat me up a lot and made me miserable.

When it was time for Kindergarten, my mom had me tested and was told that while I was ready to go academically (I could already read at a second grade level or better), I was tiny and would probably get beaten up. Wanting to spare me, Mom and Dad held me back a year and I started when I was five - and turned six just a month later. School was always a bit hard; I was older than the other kids and I already lived with 5 people who were much older than me. It alienated me from the other kids; they felt I talked "too big" and I got along better with the teachers than I did with most kids my age.

Fast forward about 20 years. After I graduated from high school I went through a very long, painful period in my life that I pretty much just prefer to ignore; except for specific cherished memories those years do not exist. It's as though I erased 7 years from my life, restarting the clock again when I hit 25 years old and went to college for 2 years. When I graduated and moved back to my hometown, I started attending a local church and made friends with a group that were all 6 years younger than me. I didn't try to make it happen, it just did.

When I was 32, I met Champs quite by accident. At the time, he was 25 - 7 years my junior. Love being what it is, the age difference didn't matter and we got married. Got a great job, had a baby, bought a house. When I turned 40, my life was chronologically equivalent to a 34 year-old. It has stayed right there. By the calendar, I am 44, but when I look at my life, I feel like I am 38. I am vain enough to hope I look 38 and not 44, but that's not too big of a deal.

To add to the age-oddness I feel, my Mother-in-law is only one year older than my sister, and my brother-in-law was born the year I graduated from high school.

The older I get, the more I realize that time is fluid and we're all just riding the waves. The higher the numbers go, the more irrelevant they become.

Mother's Day, 4 Ways

Today is, of course, Mother's Day (or as Sweet Girl says, our cat Jack's third birthday). While I've had a wonderful day so far, this day has me thinking of three other women as well, and thinking about how this day impacts them. Let me introduce you:

My Mom
My mom is turning 75 this July and is celebrating her 53rd Mother's Day. She has lived the gamut of Mother's Days; the first celebration, childish cards drawn with smudgy hands, bouquets of dandelions, teenage mumblings of thanks, grown adult children's thanks and now, "Happy Mother's Day, Grandma" and even "Happy Mother's Day, Great Grandma" cards. While I'm sure she can sit back and enjoy a job well done, I also wonder if she doesn't feel a certain sense of melancholy at the reversal of roles. Now we make sure she's taking her medicine, getting where she needs to be, and generally parenting her. Does she miss the old days, I wonder?

My Friend:
Perhaps my dearest friend in the world, C is married but does not have any children. I know she wishes that she did. When Sweet Girl was born, we asked C and her husband to be her Godparents, a role they've taken very seriously. She will call Sweet Girl just to talk, she's been there for every birthday and milestone. Now that we live out of town, she's not there as often, but I know this child of mine is the child of her heart. I don't mind sharing. C may not have a little girl at home, but she has one here - and she can celebrate Mother's Day with me as far as I am concerned.

Little B
Little B is a friend of mine in Tennessee. She is single and not a mom - in the strictest sense. However, she is a teacher and Assistant Principal at a Christian elementary and middle school. She is loved for her history teaching and her fair, wise discipline. She is also a Douala, helping bring new people into the world with love, prayers, and backrubs. I know she's not a mother, but she, too, has a mother's heart. I wonder how many moms, on this day, think of Little B and her contribution and send a blessing her way? I know I do.

Me
And then there is me. When Champs and I got married, we planned on having three kids. God and medical issues gave us one - Little Miss Sweet Girl. She is nine now. She greeted me this morning with a song she wrote herself. It wasn't a Billboard topper, but it was beautiful. Every note. Then she and her father went to the store to get the makings for my favorite breakfast, even though they hate it (I can't figure that out, actually. Who doesn't like corned beef hash and fried eggs?). Then Champs gave me a wonderful present of a digital frame. Well, first he gave me the wonderful present of Sweet Girl. She fills my heart and I'm glad I get to be her mom.

Ramen Revolution

So last night was Girl Scouts, and I had to get Sweet Girl to her meeting in 30 minutes - and she needed to eat dinner first. Now, my daughter doesn't eat fast, so that meant I needed to cook fast. I had no time, and not a lot of ingredients laying around, what to do for dinner? Inspiration struck. We had leftover rotisserie chicken from the night before, a head of broccoli and some ramen noodles, so I came up with pan fried ramen noodles. If I do say so myself, it was pretty darn yummy - and fast! Because this is a basic process, you can change it up in anyway that works for you. No rotisserie chicken? Saute a frozen boneless chicken breast. No broccoli? Use green pepper, and so on.

Here's what I did:

In a 2 qt sauce pan, I put water, 1 head of broccoli cut into florets, and 2 packages of ramen noodles (without the flavor packets). I broke the block into quarters. Let them cook together; the water doesn't need to be boiling.

Then, in a large non-stick fry pan, I put a teaspoon of sesame noodles and dry-toasted them a bit. Then I added sesame oil, a couple turns of the pan. I then added about 2 teaspoons of garlic paste (you could use chopped garlic from a jar or fresh sliced or minced garlic - whatever you like). I took one package of the ramen soup spice (oriental flavor, in this case), and put half in the fry pan and half in the noodles and broccoli.

Next I added about 5 chopped green onions and a cup of shredded chicken and let that saute for a moment. By then, the noodles and broccoli were cooked, so I just grabbed a strainer spoon and spooned the noodles and broccoli in with the chicken and onions, keeping the pan on high and stir frying them together. I added a bit of the broth from the soup pan and fried to evaporate the broth and coat the noodles.

After a couple of minutes, I turned this out on to a plate and topped it all with a bit more sesame seeds, some Asian spice (red pepper flakes, ginger, etc.) and I would have thrown some cilantro on there if I'd had any.

Truly, this was about a 7 minute process from beginning to end. It took me longer to write this than it did to make it. It was so yummy, really inexpensive, and a big step up from simple ramen soup!

The family enjoyed it - and Sweet Girl was only 5 minutes late for Girl Scouts.

It is NOT a whole new game, is it?

Did you play "Slug Bug" when you were a kid? You know, see a Volkswagen beetle, hit your brother and yell out, "Slug Bug blue!"? I grew up doing that - and then forgot about it when I became an adult. Mature. Responsible.

But thanks to the new, amazingly annoying Volkswagen commercials, "Red one!", featuring hits for any model, they claim that game is back, but it's "a whole new game". But for me, Champs, and Sweet Girl, it's still the same game and it only counts for the BUG.

Now when we are out driving around, there is a thrumming underlying current in the car. Who will see the first one? What color will it be? And will we find a true gem - an old Bug from the 60s? We've gotten to know that a high school student parks a red Bug on Crescent. A credit union employee parks their white Bug on John. Over at the bank on County Fair, another person parks a green one in the lot. There's so many running around; one trip may yield two or five - and the fun is not knowing when or where the next one will be, but hoping to be the first one to call out "Slug Bug yellow!" Or to be the one to hit back when we realize that it's actually a Cooper Mini or PT Cruiser, instead. Maybe that should be a different game - "Cruiser bruiser gold!"

Sweet Girl doesn't have any siblings; a fact that often saddens me. She doesn't have someone to compete against in the back seat. But Slug Bug? Well, we can give her that. And leave all this maturity behind for awhile.

Maybe it is a whole new game, after all.

The Secret is the Sesame Oil... or Maybe Just the Sweet Girl

So I love to cook. And I love teaching my daughter how to cook. This week's lesson was homemade pork fried rice. Oooo, I love this dish! As fun as it is to make, it was so much fun explaining to Sweet Girl what I was doing with each step and why.

"OK, honey", said I, "I cooked this rice yesterday. Nice jasime rice - it is so yummy. But you need to cook it the day before, or at least the morning before." To which she asked, "well, why not the half-hour before?" - and then we discussed the merits of cool, dry rice in oriental cooking.

Then we moved on to the scrambled eggs. Four eggs scrambled in vegetable oil and then set in a bowl on top of the frozen peas to begin to thaw and cook them. Now, normally, she complains about the eggs in the rice, but because she got to scramble them up for me, she loved every bite (take note moms - this trick works wonders. Let them help you make it; it will suddenly become their favorite food).

We moved on to make sure the cilantro was chopped, the mushroom (just for her) cut into little chunks, the shredded carrots ready to go, and all the sundry bottles and jars lined up. With the misenplace in place, we were finally ready to begin putting it all together. After dry-toasting the sesame seeds, I let her saute the onions and garlic in the sesame oil. As she stirred, she commented on how good the scent was. I explained that the oil came from the pressed sesame seeds. Something that was so simple and matter of fact to me was a revelation to my 9 year-old! Then ginger, asian spice mix, a touch of red pepper flake, pork, veggies, rice... soy sauce. With each new spice addition, Sweet Girl wanted to taste test - well, not the red pepper flake! She even tried the sesame oil - just a drop - to see how the individual flavor became a part of the dish.

We got it all fried and served it up for ourselves and Daddy (along with mini chicken eggrolls from Sam's Club - Yummy!). You know, I've made this dish so many times, but I have to say that after making it with Sweet Girl, it tasted the best it ever has!

Sweet Girlisms?

So here in blog land, we call our daughter Sweet Girl. However, at home, she has a few nicknames - most of which she really doesn't like much anymore.

When she was a baby and diaper changing was a scheduled part of our existence, she got the handle "Stinkybutt"... it stuck, of course. From there, her father came up with "Pooperdoop" - another winner that has stood the test of time.

Along the way we also got "Super Girl" from the neighbor, the aforementioned "Sweet Girl" for the blog, and also Tiglet, Punkerpoo, and (a throwback from my mama), "Snickelfritz".

But the two that she hears the most are, of course, Stinkybutt and Pooperdoop - to which she replies, "I am NOT a Stinkybutt!". Just this morning I told her not to worry, we'll keep Sweet Girl around. I mean, I can't label posts about her as "Pooperdoopisms", can I?

Um, no.

Peddling cookies at the dentist's office....

My dentist and his assistant - well, the whole office it seems, love my cooking. It started by accident, really. First I let them know I was a Pampered Chef rep and offered a few recipes. Then one day I brought a couple of cookies from a recipe I was tweaking and testing so that I could get their opinions. Before long (and it didn't take long - I've had 3 or 4 crowns this year so I've been in the office a LOT in just a short time) I became their favorite patient. I mean, why not? I bring them cookies and I have so much work done on my mouth that I'm also assuring them all of a wonderful vacation!

But I digress... Last time I was in the office, 2 weeks ago for a crown prep, I was unable to make cookies for the dentist. It may have been the fact that I was in pain from injuring my back, or that I didn't have time to get them made as I was attending physical therapy in a pool - who knows. In any case, I promised them cookies today. I delivered. I took my "chewy chocolate chip" cookie recipe that I've been perfecting for the last few months and made "chewy oatmeal chocolate chip" cookies. I ground the oatmeal to give it a lighter tooth texture, but with the wonderfully oat flavor. I added just the right extracts to bring out the best in the chocolate. I pulled them out of the oven, packed them in a container, got in the car and went straight to the dentist's office.

I got my wonderful new crown - but not until everyone in the place had grabbed one - or two - of my new cookie creations. One person even went to remove their Invisaline braces tray just so he could have a cookie right then and there.

I got the fun of knowing my recipe works, but I had to laugh at the irony of bringing my sweet treats to the dentist's office and not getting chewed out for it!

I wonder how many cookies I would need to make to get my next crown for free?

Your Actions Speak Louder Than Your Words

Sweet Girl missed the bus this morning and it was completely my fault. I took ownership of that and I took her to school. The reason she was late is because I felt it was more important to have a conversation with her than to get her up and eating a bowl of marshmallow mateys.

You see, when the alarm first went off, I ignored it, hoping Champs would get up with the girl. No luck there; he was dead to the world. However, as I lay there fending off the alarm with the snooze button, my mind drifted to yesterday. I realized that, in spite of 4 separate requests, Sweet Girl had managed to avoid practicing her piano pieces yesterday and she has her lesson today. I got up, walked to her room, woke her up and informed her of this fact.

Now, here's the thing: Our daughter has some ADD issues. Issues that we have not had formally tested (because it isn't in network for our insurance and because the initial testing costs more than 2000.00 and that doesn't even go into the charges for the therapy), and which we have not named to her face (why stick the kid with labels and also give her a ready excuse?). But the reality is that both my mother and I have been tested for and diagnosed with ADD as well. When we were young those labels didn't exist. We both learned to make it work with what we had. Because of this, I'm determined that Sweet Girl, too, will need learn to make things work for herself. It is hard, though, because she's at a crucial point in her development. She's nearly 10 and needs to start becoming more independent, and not have Mom and Dad do everything for her. She needs to take responsibility to get her "stuff" done everyday without one of us standing over her. And yet she cannot seem to do even the basics of this. Tonight her father told her that from the time after school up until she went to bed, she was to take a shower and practice her piano without being told to do so - or there would be consequences. She did neither and now she's grounded for two weeks. In the end, I know she loves music and her piano, she just finds the regimen of practice boring so doesn't get it done.

I will need to plan a trip to the library to see if there are any home-based solutions we can try. I've asked over and over of her teachers if there are any school or district psychologists who can help us, but I've gotten nowhere with that. I can't afford the medical route, either. Yet she needs some help. Perhaps there is a good book out there than can teach me how to help teach my girl to help herself.

In the meantime, she's getting up at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow to practice her piano. Sigh.

The Intelligence Continuum

I believe there is a continuum of our own belief in our intelligence:

When we are children, we believe we know everything about a couple of things.
When we are teens, we believe we know more than our parents about everything.
When we are young adults, we believe we will know even more about everything.
When we are parents of children, they believe we know everything.
When we are parents of teenagers, they believe we know nothing.
When we are parents of young adults, we both believe that we know everything.
when we are older, we begin to realize that we really didn't know anything at all the whole way through the journey.

So here I am. Finally.

I've been The Blond Girl, well, for 44 years - and in the blogsphere for the last 5 years over at "Rants, Raves, and Revelations of the Blond Girl". Today I had to close that blog because our gmail account got hacked. One of my most oft-heard comments was, "It doesn't matter what color you dye your hair, you'll always be The Blond Girl". I think this is true. Blond. Pink. Tulips. Sweet Girl. Champs. Lilacs. Peonies. It's who and what I am.

My lighthearted approach to the observations of life has been sorely abused the last 4 years. I recently realized that I miss the woman I was in 2005; slim, working a job I loved, doing things that seemed important - like writing and beading, spending time with friends. I felt that I had somehow lost all of that. But I realized, only days ago, that I didn't lose that; I lost how I looked at it.

In 2005, when I was at the top of my game writing, life was HARD! I had my 3rd hernia after my gastric bypass and I was fighting the insurance company to pay for my surgery. We had gotten taken by an unscrupulous lender and we were in an ARM mortgage that was getting ready to reset - at the same time that we were still recovering from John having been out of work. I was fighting to keep our house from being foreclosed upon. We were becoming disillusioned with our church and wondering if it was time to move on. And yet, if you were to read my blog at that time, you didn't see that. It was because I chose to focus on the light in our lives, not the darkness.

However, after we moved to Champaign, life got to be so hard. The finances imploded because we weren't working. I missed my job. We didn't have insurance. Then I finally got a good job but had to leave Champs and Sweet Girl for 6.5 months of training. I forgot to focus on the lightness in our lives, and was only able to see the darkness. I was overwhelmed by it and wondered what I needed to do to get back to who I was in 2005.

I realize now that I will never again be the woman I was in 2005 - and frankly, I don't want to be. I've matured. I've gained wisdom (and weight, too, unfortunately!). But what I can get back from 2005 is looking at the lights in my life. So that's how I want to start to write again - from a place of light. The Bible tells us that light overcomes darkness. I'm ready to test that promise. Welcome to Highlights of The Blond Girl.

P.S. It doesn't look like much now, but Geekwif is working on a new template for me. I love that woman!

Oh, She's Blond, too.

Just now, our daughter walked over to the sliding glass door and looked out. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "I heard something cracking." I replied, "That was your sanity." In all seriousness, she looked back at me and said, "No, it was outside."

Uh ha, Uh ha.

From Rants and Raves to Highlights!

So we got hacked - irrevocably hacked - early in April. The hackers got me through my Facebook account and from there took my Gmail accounts and Yahoo accounts, sending out emails to everyone on my contact list and then cleaning out my lists. What a pain! We thought we had cleaned it up and fixed everything when we found that our old gmail account had somehow been directed to a porn chat site. The avatars were disgusting and graphic. Right at that moment, we decided to completely ditch the gmail account. We had to! I mean, we were so glad that Sweet Girl wasn't the one who found it.

Right away, I created a new gmail account and it has not been accessed on the home computer yet. Only the laptop. Next up, we have to wipe the home computer and re-install everything. Then I realized that I would be losing my blog. I've tried to think of any way to avoid losing it, but I realized that as soon as I disable our old gmail account, I would lose "Rants, Raves and Revelations of the Blond Girl". While the loss is lamentable, I am ready for a bit of a change. So I have a new gmail account, and a new blog. Welcome to "Highlights of The Blond Girl"!

I went through my old blog and from 434 posts, I retained 167, moving them to this blog. Now I have a new canvas upon which to create - and that is what I am hoping to do... create again.

My dearest friend, Geekwif, is making a new template for me. And whooo boy, am I looking forward to it! Soon, Blond Girl, soon...

A Total Rant

just want to go on record as saying that today totally sucked.

Why?

1. Back injury. Physical Therapy. Pain. 'Nuff said.
2. My FB account got hacked.
3. Then they hacked my Yahoo account.
4. And erased all my contacts.
5. THEN they hacked my Gmail account.
6. AND erased all the contacts, there, too.
7. My husband worked for hours to get them back. During this time we got about 30 calls and emails from friendly folks whose computers were under attack from our computer because we got hacked.
8. Then our daughter came home in pain
9. So we took her to the doctor. Ear Infection.
10. We came home and my family tried the chocolate creme brulee that I made for the first time. I did it right. They didn't like it.
11. THEN Facebook disabled my account for the whole hacking episode and I didn't even do anything wrong!

Uh huh. SUCKED!!!! I'm going to bed. Let's see how I can mess that up.

Feeding Our Dog - or - Dozer Deserves an A!

Now that Dozer is a member of the family, I've stepped up my research and learning about all things dog. Prior to bringing him home, I became a fan of "It's Me or The Dog" on TV, learning about proper socialization and training. I lurked all over the AKC and other websites learning the major differences in temperament and breed standards for the large working breed dogs. But when Dozer came home, I started researching Bull Mastiffs and Boxers in particular (he is a mix of the two), and paying particular attention to the best foods for him.

At the website GoliathMastiffs.com, I found a page that gave TONS of information about the ingredients in commercial, vet, and holistic dog foods. Some of the information turned my stomach, to be honest. I learned that almost all commercial dog foods are made of ingredients that I don't want my dog to eat!

At the end of the page, the author provided a way to grade your dog's food from A to F. I found out that Dozer's food is only a C or C- and may possibly be contributing to skin issues and a probable reason for his stinkiness. Since then I've found a food that we'll be starting him on this week - it grade an A+ and doesn't have any corn or wheat - common allergens for dogs. Who knows - maybe cats, too.

Because I've learned so much from this, I give to you the Dog Food Grader. I encourage you to check out the web page where I found it, and then grab your dog's bag of food and check out the ingredients against the score card. Who knows? You may find yourself heading to the local feed store sooner than you think!


How to grade your dog's food

Start with a grade of 100:

1. For every listing of "by-product", subtract 10 points
2. For every non-specific animal source ("meat" or "poultry", meat, meal or fat) reference, subtract 10 points
3. If the food contains BHA, BHT, or ethoxyquin, subtract 10 points
4. For every grain "mill run" or non-specific grain source, subtract 5 points
5. If the same grain ingredient is used 2 or more times in the first five ingredients (i.e. "ground brown rice", "brewer's rice", "rice flour" are all the same grain), subtract 5 points
6. If the protein sources are not meat meal and there are less than 2 meats in the top 3 ingredients, subtract 3 points
7. If it contains any artificial colorants, subtract 3 points
8. If it contains ground corn or whole grain corn, subtract 3points
9. If corn is listed in the top 5 ingredients, subtract 2 more points
10. If the food contains any animal fat other than fish oil, subtract 2 points
11. If lamb is the only animal protein source (unless your dog is allergic to other protein sources), subtract 2 points
12. If it contains soy or soybeans, subtract 2 points
13. If it contains wheat (unless you know that your dog isn't allergic to wheat), subtract 2 points
14. If it contains beef (unless you know that your dog isn't allergic to beef), subtract 1 point
15. If it contains salt, subtract 1 point


Extra Credit:

1. If any of the meat sources are organic, add 5 points
2. If the food is endorsed by any major breed group or nutritionist, add 5 points
3. If the food is baked not extruded, add 5 points
4. If the food contains probiotics, add 3 points
5. If the food contains fruit, add 3 points
6. If the food contains vegetables (NOT corn or other grains), add 3 points
7. If the animal sources are hormone-free and antibiotic-free, add 2 points
8. If the food contains barley, add 2 points
9. If the food contains flax seed oil (not just the seeds), add 2 points
10. If the food contains oats or oatmeal, add 1 point
11. If the food contains sunflower oil, add 1 point
12. For every different specific animal protein source (other than the first one; count "chicken" and "chicken meal" as only one protein source, but "chicken" and "" as 2 different sources), add 1 point
13. If it contains glucosamine and chondroitin, add 1 point
14. If the vegetables have been tested for pesticides and are pesticide-free, add 1 point


94-100+ = A
86-93 = B
78-85 = C
70-77 = D
69 = F

The newest member of the family

Family Expansion on a Weeknight

Champs has wanted a dog pretty much since the day we got married almost 11 years ago. Due to varying circumstances - most of them revolving around rental agreements or long employment hours, it just couldn't happen.

However, when we bought our home in March, the door opened for us to finally get a dog. We determined that we wanted a large dog; a Great Dane, preferably, or a mastiff.


We were lined up to adopt a Great Dane in we found in Indiana on Petfinder, but that fell through, breaking our hearts. After that, we tried to adopt a bull dog and then a Great Dane on Craig's List, but the owners were not upright in their business dealings. It was beginning to look like we may never find a dog for our family. Until this last Tuesday.

On Tuesday night, Champs was looking on Petfinder again when he saw these sad eyes looking out from the screen. He immediately wrote to the woman, who responded a few minutes later, giving us the go ahead to call her the next day after noon and discuss meeting the dog. Champs had Wednesday off, so he anxiously awaited noon and then gave Kristine at Eye on the Sparrow Dog Rescue a call. He explained our situation and asked about the dog. Then he agreed to come that evening - if she promised that she wasn't going to back out at the last minute. He explained that we couldn't handle that kind of pain again.

After hearing our story, she promised that the only way we would leave without the dog was if it was our choice. After I got off work, we drove 2.5 hours to northern IL and met the dog she called Andre. He was such a quiet, gentle love. Being a special needs rescue, we knew he may have some issues. He is about 5 years old and is already showing the beginnings of hip displaysia. But even when he was obviously uncomfortable, he was gentle, loving, obedient and calm - exactly the kind of dog I wanted for my introduction back into dog owning, and just what we needed for our daughter and my work-at-home-on-the-phone job. So we brought him home. We didn't get home until after 10:30 on Wednesday, and John needed to be up by 3:45 the next morning. Champs didn't think about the lost sleep; he only thought about the dog.

Bringing a new dog home at 10:30 the night before you have to work, the kid has to go to school, and the cats are expecting another average day is, to say the least, a possibly foolhardy proposition. It worked well though. Well, other than the cats. They were unimpressed, to say the least. Now, four days later, they are beginning to calm down.

By Thursday evening, we had to bathe our new Bull Mastiff, and we were still working on a name for him. When we tried to get him in the tub, he would have none of it - living up to the bull part of his breed, and we couldn't budge him, living up to the mastiff part of his breed. We finally threw up our hands in defeat and took him outside and bathed him on the sidewalk.

By Friday, after entertaining a lot of name options (Chief, Apollo, Fred, Ed, Duncan, Duke, etc.), we decided on his new name: Dozer. As in bulldozer. As in dozes all day (and he DOES!), as in "wow, that's a doozie of the dog!"). It fits him. We've been giving him treats and saying his name to socialize him to it. We've been taking him on walks and teaching him to heal. We've been talking about getting him to the vet to look at his hips and elbows (from laying on a concrete shelter floor). We've been feeding, walking, and teaching the cats to accept him.

And somehow I've gotten past the slobber and the dog stink to the heart of this beautiful, gentle giant. When the other adoptions fell through, I kept telling Champs that we just had to have faith that God knew the desires of his heart and would bring us the right dog at the right time. Dozer may not be a young puppy, and he may need extra support from us sooner rather then later, but he is family now, and we will do what is needed.

Because I love my husband. And when I saw him laying on the floor next to his dog, asleep and content, I fell in love with Dozer. The newest member of our family.


Here are the comments from this post:
Jean-Luc Picard said...
A large dog can'r be easy to look after, yet Dozer seems a very calm, gentle giant, as you say.
NetChick sent me here.

bellamocha said...
Hello, NetChick sent me!!
Your new dog is beautiful...wow! I have been a dog lover and owner all my life and can't imagine being without one. We have a golden lab right now...we thought he was big until I saw yours!
Keep posting the pictures, we'd love to see them! I'm glad that after the previous one fell through, you have brought Dozer home. I wish you much joy with your gentle giant!
Bella :)

David said...
so glad you found such a LARGE love

USA IPO creates opportunity - and interest - in the trading sector

Our company has a feature in a weekly newsletter called "The Leek". It is a takeoff on The Onion. Working with equities gives me a bit of a different view of our world. With that world view in mind, I wrote a satirical piece on the government and the stock market for The Leek and submitted it. We'll see if it runs there. But this is my page and my writing, so I will run it here. This is fictional satire! Remember that: FICTIONAL :-)

Enjoy.

USA IPO creates opportunity - and interest - in the trading sector

In an unprecedented move to capitalize on raising economic optimism, increase investor confidence, and end the recession, the US Government announced on Tuesday that it is going public. Stock, that is, trading under the ticker USA. With an initial public offering of 500 million shares expected to be priced in the range of $22.00 - $23.00 per share, the government hopes to raise enough cash to continue funding economic stimulus packages while reducing the national debt. The bill was presented to the house and senate on Monday morning, discussed at noon, and voted into law shortly after 3:00 p.m. Majority Leader Larry Read (D-NV) was quoted as saying, "The bill passed soundly. Then we went to lunch."

While investors are looking forward to the offering, a Gallop Poll completed today indicates there is some concern among citizens wondering if the IPO will be in the best interest of the government. "Yes, this is a bold plan, but we expect it to be highly successful", stated White House Press Secretary Robert Dibs, "the plan here is to price USA in such a way that the average citizen can purchase their own piece of the government. This will allow us to use the money from the people, for the people. It's all very constitional-ish".

The IPO, which is expected to take place next Wednesday, has already garnered excitement in trading circles. Ameriprise Financial, Merrill Lynch and TD Ameritrade have all reported taking hundreds of questions and advanced orders for the stock.. Ameriprise, at least, has stood by it's business practice of non participation in IPOs. "However, as soon as USA is trading on the NASDAQ and third markets, we will be accepting orders", Ameriprise stated in a press release. Interest in the IPO is not limited to American investors. China's Prime Minister When Tiabao has already stated that he plans on buying "at least 20,000 shares of USA", indicating willingness on China's part to help relieve some of the foreign gross national debt currently facing the government.

Questions still remain about the IPO, particularly the formation of a board of directors, the possibility of a hostile takeover by an investor with a greater than 51% ownership, if OFAC-listed nationals will be allowed to purchase shares of USA, as well as concerns for stockholder meeting locations. Without providing particulars, Dibs pointed out that all these questions will be answered prior to the IPO next week, stating, "We're moving fast, but we're moving confidently."


Here's the comments from this post:
AussiePomm (Bernie) said...
Interesting read... I might invest it it!!! lol lol lol
Netchick sent me over to see the proposal you put up!

Star said...
That could run in the Onion !

Emme Rogers said...
Too funny! I especially love how you needed to emphasize that it was Fictional. I write a fictional blog about me (whose also fictional) and people are forever thinking all those things are happening to my writer (the poor girl, I'm constantly getting her into trouble).
By the way, also love all the crazy names you have for people. Glad I wandered over here from NetChick.
Have a great Sunday!
Emme

Paul Nichols said...
Hey there! Great to see you again! Thank you for stopping by my joint. I didn't see your post until a short while ago.
And this was a great write. I can't really see much difference between what you just wrote and the spin the "doctors" put on everything. Are you sure it isn't fiction? Nevertheless, it's good.
Sad about Diesel. Sorry. Have you had any new opportunities? Have you ever thought about adopting a greyhound? What great dogs! They love kids.

MissMeliss said...
Hah! Fabulous. And so good to hear from you again.

Diesel Isn't Coming Home

Sometimes, when something painful happens, you just don't know how to process it.

Champs has wanted a dog ever since we got married, but it has never been an option for us because we wanted a big dog – bigger than most rental contracts will allow. When we started looking for a house to buy last year, we agreed that the time was finally right for us to bring a dog home. After researching, talking and being honest about what we wanted and could handle in a dog, we decided that the right dog for us was the gentle giant – a male Great Dane. We agreed that we would look for an adult dog to give a home to as soon as we bought a house. On closing day, I don’t think the ink was dry on the deed before Champs was searching PetFinder.com for our new boy.

Finally, Champs found him – the perfect Great Dane for us. For the last two weeks, we’ve been going through the process to adopt Diesel from a rescue in Indiana. We've completed applications, emailed back and forth, and spoke on the phone with the rescue lady. We wanted to go next Friday so that we could have the holiday weekend for him to settle in. Instead, she wanted us to get him this weekend. She said that he is such a great dog that if he stayed any longer she might keep him herself. We made our plans, went shopping to buy new doggy stuff for our big baby, created a poll to decide which one of three carefully chosen names he would be given, emailed everyone we know with our news, and generally let ourselves get wrapped up in the excitement of giving this rescue dog a new, loving home.

So this morning we got up early and drove four hours to Indiana to bring Diesel home. We spent nearly two hours there, getting to know him and falling in love with what a great dog he is, only to have the rescue lady tell us that she couldn't give him away. We'd be great dog owners - just not for this dog, she said.

I think she was concerned by my reaction when I met him, which was "wow, you're beautiful... and BIG!." It took me a couple of moments to be ready to pet him - not because I didn't like him or I was afraid, but mostly because I wanted to be sure he wouldn't jump on me. I had told her that I grew up with Great Danes but hadn't owned one of my own or lived with one in 20 years. I may be wrong, but I think that after that long, it's not unreasonable to expect that I might need a couple of minutes to get reacquainted with the breed.

He was too perfect and she couldn't bear to let him move so far away, she said. Maybe if we lived closer so she could come and see him, then it would have worked, she said. He'd lived a hard life and deserved to be in a home where he would be loved like one of the children with no boundaries, she said. It concerned her that we didn't want him to sleep in our bed, she said. And then she went on to say that she wanted him to be in a home where he would be the only dog, but since she fell in love with him, she was taking him home to live with her four other Great Danes.

It took her nearly 20 minutes to go from "I'm not sure if I can give him up. I told myself this morning that I could, that I was ready, but now that you're here, I don't think I can do it" to "No, you can't have him." Champs finally had to leave because he was so upset, but I stayed behind to see if there was anything I could say to ally her concerns. I mean, we had passed the application process and we loved the dog. Sweet Girl, who has been nervous around big dogs before, but had no fear of him, had spent the hour hugging him, stroking him, and falling in love. We knew that Diesel was the perfect dog for our family; sweet, calm, loving, and gentle.

But I realized that nothing I could say meant anything to her. I don't think it was really about us - she just fell in love with the dog herself, which I can understand. What I can’t understand is why she didn't have the nerve or the courtesy to call and tell us how she felt beforehand so that we didn't take the long trip only to have our hearts broken. I think she was hoping that either we wouldn't want him and then she'd have an out, or that she could find something horribly wrong with us so that she could justify keeping him. But we came and loved him, and other than the fact that I want him to sleep in a doggy bed on the floor (which we'd already bought for him), and that I didn't fall over myself adoring him (which just isn’t something I would do, no matter how much I love an animal), she had no other reason to turn us away.

And when my daughter stood crying by the dog's kennel because she couldn't understand why Diesel wasn't coming home with us, the rescue lady's business partner leaned down and told my daughter, "Face it, you're not getting the dog.", then straightened, smiled at me and said, "I'm a grandma. I know how to handle them." That's when I picked up my daughter, picked up my purse, and walked out.

And just like that, we drove home 253 miles with our daughter crying for the first two hours of the trip. No dog. No new family member to love. Only pain, and the indefinable question, "why was I not good enough?"


Here's the comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
I wish there was something to say that could actually make you feel better, but I know there's not. All I can say is that this woman was selfish, inconsiderate, dishonest, and cowardly to the Nth degree; and her friend does not deserve to have grandchildren if that's how she "handles" them. To say something like that to a child in that situation is absolutely unpardonable.
I'm so sorry you and Champs and especially Sweet Girl had to go through this. I hope you find another dog soon that is even more wonderful and will help to wipe out the memory of this painful experience with lots of happy tail wags and sweet puppy-like affection.

gift4gab said...
That is a HORRIBLE way to treat people, especially a child. Is there someone you can report this lady too? Someone higher up in the rescue group?
I am so sorry your family went through that - I am ashamed that they were able to behave that way.
Good luck.

Tammy said...
That woman dared to call herself a grandma and had the nerve to say to Sweet Girl, "Face it, you're not getting the dog."??????? You've GOT to be kidding?!?!? If I had been there with my Irish temper in tow, I would have slapped her to start with... You would have had to bail me out of jail. I am soooo sorry to hear what you went through. =(

David said...
i can't believe this, but since you said it I will try to get my mind around the concept of people being so selfish. She was clearly NOT thinking about the dog's well being.
This makes me sad.

Jean said...
That was a real nasty way they treated you all... Feel very bad. I was really hoping that at the end Diesel would have somehow come with you.