Highlights of Blond Girl

Chili Throwdown

2011-11-16T21:57:00.002-06:00

Tonight was the last Man's Cave/Ladies Night at church. It was a chili cookoff and lots of fun. I made white chicken chili and Champs made smoked pork chili. They were both really good - and neither of us won. Too sad, too bad, oh well.

I guess it wasn't whether we won or lost, though, it was that we participated. Sometimes it is so easy to just sit back and let others do the living. I've been doing too much of that lately. My new goal is to get up early each day so that I can leave my desk by 4:30. I haven't actually made it yet, but I am trying.

I've done a lot of this not-living the last 4 years. It takes a concerted effort to step out and make things happen again. Sometimes the steps are very small; baby steps to the door, baby steps to the car, etc.

But regardless of whether it is bible study or chili, it isn't important to win - it's important to get up and go for it!

The Free Car Repair - or - Above What You Can Imagine.

2011-11-15T22:53:00.003-06:00

I mentioned the other day that I was choosing the be encouraged in the Lord in spite of our financial issues. The most glaring thing we were facing was the sudden problems with our car last Thursday night. When it died, I just couldn't put it all together. The car was clearly leaking antifreeze, but it also had an electrical system light on, a rubbing noise as it drove, and the steering completely locked when I put it in park. It honestly looked like it had major issues and I couldn't begin to understand where the money to pay for it was going to come from. The one thing that Champs and I agreed on was that we were still going to tithe, no matter what.

Champs started looking at the car and realized that the reason the electrical light had gone on was related to the rubbing sound I heard as the car drove: The alternator belt had gotten wet with antifreeze. Because of this, it couldn't spin properly and it rubbed. This made the battery run down, causing the light to go on.

As for the steering, when Champs went out and bought the proper antifreeze to refill the reservoir, the steering unlocked. Turns out that was a safety feature designed to keep us from driving the car with a dry radiator and cracking the block. He narrowed it down to either the water hose or the water pump. Now our biggest problem was how to pay for it.

Champs called and got some estimates; $150.00 at one place, but he gave us no confidence he knew how to fix it. $350.00 at another place. At that point, I asked Champs to call the dealer. The cars nowadays are so much more complicated than they were when my father was a mechanic in the 70's. If it was only a bit more, I would be willing to pay to make sure it was done right.

Sullivan told us it would be $500.00, and then asked us what the mileage was. At 45,000 miles, the Bumper-to-bumper warranty expired awhile ago. However, what neither Champs or I took into consideration was the POWER TRAIN WARRANTY! The Sullivan rep told us the repair would be free - and it was.

This is exactly the miracle we were praying for. I couldn't begin to imagine where the money to pay for the repairs would come from. My Mother-in-law offered to loan us her credit card, but neither Champs nor I could see how getting further in debt would be the best way out of this. In the end, all we could do was just pray, determine in our hearts to expect the best from God, and then watch as He figured it out. This is exactly the miracle we asked for. Perhaps we should have asked for more? Next, Lord, John needs a good job. And yes, we are going to stand firm in what You've called us to.

Going Platinum

2011-11-13T21:23:00.003-06:00

Earlier this year I posted about feeling guilty for being unhappy. One of the things I wrote about was how frustrated I was by my job as a brokerage service representative. After 4.5 years of taking call after call with no break, I felt as though my job was a soulless zombie, feasting on my heart day after day. Oh, how I longed for a new job.

You know the old saying, "be careful what you ask for because you might get it?" Yeah, that. In May I went to Minneapolis for a week to meet my boss face to face and for a special seminar for an employee board I am on. While there, I found out that another group was hiring. This group does high-level dedicated service for our top-producing agents. Knowing that the job would require the ability to create relationships with my advisors and would involve more variety and problem solving and not as much slavery to a phone queue, I lobbied hard for the job. I went and introduced myself to the manager (it was the only chance he would have to meet me before I applied) and then posted for the job. I got it! Yay!

What I failed to realize fully is that I went from being a big fish in a little pond to a little fish in a big pond. Suddenly I needed to be an expert on every area of our company. I can have an advisor call me for a brokerage issue, or a compensation issue. He could be having problems with a mutual fund or an annuity. She could have a complaint about an insurance policy or our marketing group. Like all jobs, this has a learning curve, and I have been climbing that curve since July when I started.

I know I will rock at this job. It makes the most of my best skills in finance and customer service and I am still very thankful that I got it. It's just that it's taking me awhile to learn it all and kinda kicking my butt in the process. Champs isn't working (he's been out of work since August) and I've been working too much. Oh, how I long for balance.

My goal this week is to leave my desk by 4:30 every day. I will dig deep and find it in myself to apply myself every minute and to produce my best work. Because this job isn't a soulless zombie feasting on my heart. It is feasting on other parts of me, however, and the time has come for me to be in control of my time again.

I'm not sure what the main point of this post is, so I can't wrap up with my pithy closing statement as I normally do. It's just that when it was time for me to blog, this job was on my heart, so that's what I wrote.

You Have a Son.

2011-11-12T23:53:00.002-06:00

56 Years ago today my parents were married. Back then, it was an all day affair; they got married just after lunch, then they had a short reception, then they broke to move to a ball room where they had a dinner, and then finally the dance and party. My sister came 17 months later and then, on my parent's 3rd anniversary, my brother Pat was born.

That day has garnered many stories from my parents. November 12 was a Wednesday. Mom woke up knowing that this was the day, and told Dad they needed to get Mary to Grandma's house and get to the hospital. My Dad, remembering how it went when Mary was born, decided he had plenty of time to take a shower and get some breakfast. Finally Mom had enough and told Dad they had to go NOW. They took Mary to Grandma, dropped her off and ran. By the time they got to the hospital, Mom was panting and trying to keep herself in control. Dad ran her into the lobby where he found a nurse and a wheelchair. He told them that he was going to go and park the car and would be right back. This was all of 35 minutes after Mom told Dad to get his butt in the car.

Dad ran out, parked the car, and ran back. He stepped off the elevator in time for a nurse to greet him and say, "congratulations, Mr. Higgins. You have a son". Dad walked into the Labor room in time to see the doctor cleaning himself off - almost as soon as he hit the cold air, Pat peed right on the doctor! Unlike today, when a mother goes through labor and delivery in one nice room with whatever family or friends she chooses to invite, when Pat was born the mother went first to the Labor room and then, when it was time, she was moved to the Delivery room. In my mom's case, Pat was born in the Labor room, and before Mom even had a chance to get fully prepped. Dad always liked to say how he called the hospital billing department and chewed them out for charging him for the Delivery room when my Mom never even saw the inside of it!

Now remember, I said that this was Mom and Dad's anniversary. Well, they sure weren't going to go out for dinner and dancing! Dad spent much of the day with Mom and then that evening he went out and got jeeeest a tad tipsy. Enough that he was crying in his beer and calling out "Bobbi, I love you!" Mom likes to tell that part of the story; I never heard that part from my Dad!

53 years later, my Dad has passed on and my Mom, while she misses my Dad, doesn't pay as close attention to dates as she used to. I'm glad I have the stories, though, to pass on here and to my daughter.

Happy birthday, Pat.

11/11/11, 11:11:11 Memorial

2011-11-12T19:36:00.003-06:00

So I missed two things yesterday; I missed my blog post, and I missed two opportunities to make a once-100-years FaceBook post. Two times yesterday I could have posted "11/11/11, 11:11:11". I intended to step away from my desk in the morning to post, but I got so involved in work that I forgot. I then figured I would do it in the evening, but I waved the white flag at 9:30, just so tired all I wanted to do was sleep. Both opportunities missed. And I can say with some certainty that I will not be here to post the next time the opportunity arises.

Let's hope that in 13 months I can be on point to post 12/12/12, 12:12:12!

Choosing encourgment

2011-11-10T23:29:00.005-06:00

The one and only reason I am sitting at this computer to type anything is because I promised myself I would write every single day for the rest of November. I have to be up at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow to work early, and then take my mom to the hospital for a CAT scan at 12:30. As it is is 11:30 now, this will be short.

Champs and I decided to tithe. We took the challenge to see God's faithfulness to our family. Although right at the moment I am discouraged like you would not believe, I am also choosing to be encouraged.

Why? Because we have no money. Christmas is 6 weeks away. We're behind on the house payment. Champs has been out of work for months. I've been so busy working that I haven't kept up with the bills and responsibilities here at home. And just tonight our car (oh yeah, we're behind on that payment, too) locked up and died in our driveway, leaking pink fluid. Champs thinks it has a torn coolant hose. I'm really glad I got to the driveway before the steering locked.

And at a time like this, I can choose to be upset with God, or I can choose to look to the bigger picture. If Satan is trying this hard to make us stop tithing, then God must have something really good planned if we can stay the course and be faithful.

Oh Lord, I hope so.

The Display of His Splendor

2011-11-09T21:56:00.004-06:00

For the first time in our marriage, John and I have been attending Wednesday night church and it has been really good. He goes off to "Man Cave" (where he has been encouraged to grow the beard I wrote about the other day), and I go to "Ladies Night". Our group has been going through the Beth Moore video series "Breaking Free" and also doing some small group sessions. It has been pretty good; I've discovered that I do have some things that I need to break free of, and I've discovered that in some areas, I am doing really well.

Tonight's lesson - the last in the series - was "The display of his splendor", and it talked about how we, as Christians, are Witnesses, Warriors, and Brides. The last point, that of being the bride of Christ, was to focus on how delighted God is in each of us. How unique we are and how He made us that way. Or, as the speaker said, "When God made you, He said "I'll never do that again!" Cute.

When we broke up for our small group session, we had the hardest assignment yet. We were to actually see ourselves as the display of His splendor. How? With the very practical assignment of working by ourselves for a few minutes to write 5 statements that would describe us to someone who didn't know us. They were to be positive statements only; no negatives. Do you have any idea how hard it is to say 5 positive things about yourself? Without adding a flip side of "of course, I talk way too much" or "I can't seem to keep up with my household duties"? No, it had to be positive.

So I scratched my head, tapped my pen, and then I wrote my list:
1. I have a good sense of humor (at least Champs says I do; it's one of the reasons he married me).
2. I am a good cook (just ask anyone who has had my chili or my lasagna).
3. You can depend on me to do what I say I will do (even if I'm doing 5 other things at the same time).
4. I am a strategic-thinking, organized problem solver (must be why I got my promotion this summer).
5. I am outgoing (the flip side is that I talk to much, but this was supposed to be all positive, no negatives, remember?).

And then, at the last minute, I decided to be an over-achiever and add one more to my list:
6. I give good massages (Really, really, good massages. 5 minutes of bliss kind of neck, shoulder, and hand massages. It's made me quite popular with my choir).

So there it is. A list - maybe complete, maybe only partial - of what makes me His Blond Girl. We had to share our lists with the others in our small group and I felt silly reading it off to the rest. I have to admit that I don't think it's much to brag about, but He made me and He loves me. So it is conceivable that even though the bills are unpaid, even though my house is a mess, and even though my hair needs washing, that I actually am a Display of His Glory.

If I Won a Million Dollars

2011-11-08T18:14:00.007-06:00

Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. ~George Scialabba

Thought is the labor of the intellect, reverie is its pleasure. ~Victor Hugo

So I tend to daydream a lot. When I am drifting in that space between awake and asleep; when I've been on the phone working on a tough problem for an hour; when work is done and I have 15 quiet minutes before dinner and I don't want to read or watch TV...I daydream.

My daydreams usually take the form of "what would I do if?" Some of my questions are painfully practical. "How would I cope if Champs died?" I answer that one quickly and move on. "How many cats are too many to own?" That one has answers ranging from one to ten, depending on my mood at the moment.

Some questions I ask myself often. The answer is usually the same, but with some variation along the way. Today's daydream question (a personal favorite) was "What would I do if I won a million dollars?" The first thing to consider is that I don't buy lottery tickets, and I have no rich relatives on the verge of passing, so I have no idea where this million would come from. Who knows? Raffle ticket, maybe, or from some essay contest. The "where from" is not an issue, really. It's that it showed up. Now what?

Well, I guess I have to think in order of God, Country, family. Meaning, 10% off the top for a tithe. So now there is $900,000.00. Then you have country. I'm thinking that Uncle Sam would want at least 30%, so now there is $567,000.00, give or take a Franklin or two.

Now the real fun can begin. Pay off every. single. bill. I can't tell you how much fun it would be to sit down with my checkbook and write a check for everything I owe to any person, any company, any loan. Pay off the house, the car, the back medical bills, every little thing. Oh Lord that would be the BEST DAY EVER!

OK, so after all that fun, let's say that there is about $380,000.00 or so left. Next up, fix the things in the house that must be fixed; new roof, new windows, new garage door, etc. A few plumbing issues, some odd issues with ceiling nails popping out of the drywall and a few issues in the crawlspace. Not decorating, just fixing - and we're down to oh, say, $300,000.00 or so.

A quick call to my financial advisor (whoever he is; it's not like I have one now!) and we've put away $100,000.00 or Sweet Girl's college and $100,000.00 for our retirement (which, I know, is not near enough, but oh well, it's not near enough now and I haven't actually won a cool mil, so I guess we'll just pretend that's not an issue.)

Well, in the space of a few days we're down to about $100,000.00 left. So this is where all the fun would happen. Some house decorating. A trip to Disney. A flat screen TV. New carpet. Knee surgery for our dog. A set of drums for Champs, a pink Buddy scooter for me, a clavanova for Sweet Girl, braces for everyone in the family (yes, Champs and me too), some great presents for family members, Oh, and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

Because if you're going to spend your fertile imagination on how to spend a free million dollars, then there has to be some Godiva in there somewhere!

CaNoBlogMo!!!

2011-11-07T21:36:00.003-06:00

OK, if my husband can take part in "No Shave November" and my best friend Geekwif can do "NaNoWriMo", then I have to get back a part of me.

From now on, I am doing "CaNoBlogMo" - or "Catherine's November Blog Month". Which means I will blog every day in November - starting now. I will try to write each day. No, I will not try. I will do. I have no idea what I will talk about. In fact, I apologize in advance if I
a. ramble.
b. swear.
c. complain.

We shall see, shan't we?

My Hairy Beast

2011-11-07T20:38:00.006-06:00

In thirteen years of marriage, the hairiest part of my husband has been his chest. Or maybe his legs. It hasn't been his face. He has been a member of the clean-face club all the years we've been together. Until now. The men of our church (The guys of the Man Cave)are participating in "No Shave November". Anyone who has ever doubted that my husband is the red head I've always said he is (his hair tends to be brown-red)would, upon seeing his face now, know that he is a red head. And you know, for only be a week old, it's pretty thick already. It's getting to the soft/scratchy stage. Thank goodness he can shave his neck and trim it up. Not that he's got a lot of experience at that. Like I said, he's always been clean shaven.

Well, I take that back. John did have a goatee once. He grew it when I was in Minnesota for my job training, so I barely knew it. But he did valiantly grow it. For two weeks. That was all he could take before the itching drove him to take one last (unsmiling) picture of it, send it to me, and then shave it off with a cry of itchy desperation.

Anyhow, so here he is again, growing out a beard and trying so hard to carry on. It's November 7 and all he can think about is how badly his face itches. I'm thinking it must go away, or there wouldn't be so many men with beards. But the question in our house now is how long will Champs make it before he cries out and shaves the thing off? I'm hoping he makes it this time. Of course, I will be looking forward to welcoming back that soft sweet face I'm used to. Right now he's beginning to look like a sea captain.

And the only other question is "you haven't written in 6 months and the thing that broke the silence was facial hair?!?!

Ha!

Hunny McMonkey

2011-02-05T21:17:00.002-06:00

Champs and I took Sweet Girl to Peoria today to get her a Build-A-Bear with her Daddy's voice recorded on the voice box. It was a wonderful day for the three of us. I have been saving our "Stuff for Stuff" rewards certificates and gift cards for quite awhile so Erin was able to have a spending spree unlike any she'd ever had before.

I expected her to be like most kids would - just go nuts and buy everything she's been wanting. But she didn't. After we made her bear, she turned to me and asked me if I was ready for my surprise. I was. She said, "I have lots of bears and Daddy has his monkey (I bought him a monkey for Father's Day 2 years ago and named him "Coach McMonkey), but you don't have one. I want you to pick out a bear and an outfit." I questioned her to be certain she was ready to do this and warned her that she would be giving up a portion of her spending spree.

Sweet Girl assured me that this was just what she wanted and sent me to the wall of animals. Seeing as daddy already had a monkey, I picked out a cute little monkey that is different than his, but similar enough to look like a pair. I named her Hunny McMonkey (Hunny was my nickname online when Champs met me) and dressed her up really cute.

And drove home with a full heart, happy that our daughter proved, on her own, that she is learning how to be unselfish and giving. I love it!

mō-tə-ˈvā-shən

2011-02-03T08:23:00.003-06:00

mo·ti·va·tion
noun \ˌmō-tə-ˈvā-shən\
1 a : the act or process of motivating
b : the condition of being motivated
2: a motivating force, stimulus, or influence : incentive, drive

Is it just me, or do you also hate when a definition of a word uses the word to define itself? What is motivation? Well, it's being motivated, of course! No wonder I can't seem to get a handle on it for myself.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about motivation lately. Do I have enough? Is it the right kind of motivation? Am I acting on motivation or just reacting to the events in my life? If I am merely reacting, does that count as a form of motivation in and of itself?

Yeah, as you can see, I have a few questions. The reason I have so many questions is because I realized one week ago that if I don't embrace motivation and begin to fight for what I have, to work to find the woman I used to be, and to stretch myself to become more than I am now, my carefully constructed house of cards will come tumbling down.

I have started fighting, but not enough. I need to dig deep and find the motivation for real change in me, in our marriage... in my life.

Yes, I want my condition to stop being lackadaisical and become very strongly motivated.

But what if it is broke?

2011-02-02T08:47:00.011-06:00

"If it ain't broke..."

You can finish the rest of the saying. A five-year old could. But it has occurred to me that I've been doing a lot of not fixing it around here lately. And a few things are broke. It's time to start fixin'. Three things have me thinking about getting busy and fixing what is wrong.

The first broke thing that made me think of this is my husband and his ongoing fight to fix his snow blower. For years it has just started up, spit snow out of its way, and then sat in the garage waiting for the next snow to come. This year, however, it got fussy. It would start, but then die after a minute or two of running. Champs cleaned the fuel lines. Nothing. He cleaned the injector and then the carburetor. Nope. He went and bought a carburetor replacement (because the manufacturer of his machine has gone out of business)and rebuilt the entire piece. He's watched videos of how to fix it, searched online and worked hard - and still it refuses to move snow. He does not have the answer, but he is not giving up.

The second broke thing that made me think of this is me. I have been struggling with being unhappy. I am overweight, overwhelmed, and under-motivated, as I wrote about here. It may be that for the first time, I am truly caring enough to try. I do not have the answers, but I am not giving up.

The third, and perhaps most painful, thing that is broke is my marriage. While I have been struggling with my frustrations and trying to keep them quietly under wraps where they wouldn't bother anyone, it appears that my husband has been dealing with frustrations and failings of his own - and hiding them, as well. I found the hidden damage. There are parts of our marriage that are broken. I didn't know it was broke. Not working at prime operation, certainly, but not broke. I have since learned differently. Thankfully, we have discovered this at the "fix engine" light stage, not at the point when everything grinds to a painful halt on a busy street. I am online, searching for answers, fighting to fix it. He is turning to the proper people to help fix it. We are talking - really talking - for the first time in months about what we can identify and what we know to do about it, regardless of how painful it may be to actually get busy and start doing the work. We don't have all the answers, but we are NOT giving up.

There's a few things broke around here. With God's help and grace, we are fixing them. The snow blower, however, may need to go to the shop.

labyrinth

2011-01-31T20:49:00.004-06:00

Yesterday morning I woke up thinking that I was cherished and respected. I went to bed knowing that I was loved - but certainly not as respected as I thought. My husband hurt me in a way I was unprepared for.

Today he put the steps in motion to fix it. I am not happy, but I am convinced that I am loved. Possibly cherished. I've also learned that sometimes you have to fight for what you love.

Marriage is a labyrinth.

Guilty

2011-01-29T22:08:00.002-06:00

I am in the position of feeling guilty. Now, being a good Catholic Irish girl (who has since gone Charismatic Christian), feeling guilty really is nothing new to me. It's a lot like breathing, actually.

The reason I feel guilty is because I guess I don't feel like I have any right to feel so... unhappy.

My mother always said, "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all", and so I haven't been saying this or writing this, but I can't ignore it any longer. I am not happy. I have no right to be unhappy, but I also don't know how to break its hold.

I have a wonderful husband. No question there. I have friends who wish they had a relationship as good as we do. We talk, we work together, we laugh. When we argue, we make up. We treat one another with respect and still, after 13 years, recognize in each other the unique gift of God we have received.

I have a beautiful 10 year old daughter who is the light of my life. She is bright, sweet, and beginning to discover her inner teenager. She struggles with ADD, but triumphs in intelligence and spirit.

I have a good paying job. It meets our needs in a way that no job I could find here in town could do. I work on the phones, taking calls. No commute, no dress code. Fantastic pay and benefits.

We have a beautiful home. It has light, open rooms with enough space for the family, but not so much space that I can't keep up with it.

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? What do I have to be unhappy about? I should be guilty for being unhappy with the blessings that I have.

But here it is: I feel like I've lost myself. Lost my motivation... and I don't know where to find it again.

Work has become a prison. I am stuck on the phone, taking brokerage trade and customer service calls, over and over and over, ad nauseum. My work style is to have a to-do list and move from one task to the next, switching around as needed to be efficient but not "stuck". When I was a Communication Specialist, this is how I worked and it brought me kudos. However, this style flies in the face of a phone job that is one call after the next and my performance is assessed primarily in numbers. How many calls did I take? What percentage of the time was I available to take a call immediately? How well did I adhere to the schedule? I have no room to set my pace or to breathe between calls. I honestly expected, when I went back to work, that I would quickly show my superiors that a remote agent can be hired off the phones and I would go back to a staff position. Three and a half years later, I am still on the phones, still taking calls, and beginning to realize that the unspoken rule that going remote means giving up your upward mobility is not just a thought, but a stone reality.

So of course, the next thought would be "if you're not happy at work, find a new job." But I can't. I am stuck. Our family cannot be without my pay and benefits. Champs was laid off for nine months and is now working again, but in a wonderful new career. He is an entry level pharmacy technician. He loves it, but earns about 2/3 of what he used to earn. I couldn't be prouder of him for making a change, but it means that I cannot, no matter what I want. We are already behind in our house payments and I am trying to figure out how to tweak the budget even more to keep us in the black. When we first moved here to Champaign, I tried to find work in my field as a Communication Specialist and there was nothing ... anywhere. I tried to get work that would use my Series 7 license, and again, nothing. My job working remotely for the big company in Minneapolis came just at a time when I thought we would be lost if I didn't work again. Now I am afraid to even try again, because I know I'll never be able to get this kind of pay and benefits again.

The next obvious thought, then, is of course this: "Well, work is only 8 hours a day, Blond Girl! Get over yourself and DO SOMETHING with the rest of your time." I know. I know. And yet I can't seem to break out of this malaise to do actually do anything. I feel like I am stuck working, balancing the checkbook and staying one step ahead of financial issues, and cleaning the house.

I used to love to do three things: I loved to write, I loved to sing, and I loved to bead jewelry.

I used to write all day at work and come home to write an entry in my blog every. single. day. And I had people who loved the way I wrote and were waiting for my next witty observation of life.

I used to be on the worship team. I sang special music in church. I bought CDs and listened to music. Somehow, since we've moved, I've lost my voice and become afraid to try. While God is still worthy of my worship - worthy of my praise - worthy of every song I could raise to His mercy and grace, I have... nothing. I can't and don't sing any more and I don't know why.

I used to thrill to create new jewelry. I could teach my friends how to design when they thought they couldn't. I would make something that shone, sparkled, delighted - something that had never existed before I thought it into being. Now my beads sit in a basket, collecting dust.

I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. I've lost who I used to be and I can't seem to define who I should be now. I cook. I clean. I do laundry. I take calls, pay bills, and keep this house going. I am a wife. I am a mother. But somewhere along the line, I've forgotten how to be a woman. Someone with value. I wake in the middle of the night, lost. Who am I? Where is Blond Girl? How do I merge the wonder and joy of the overwhelming love I have for my husband and my daughter with who I am? I don't know how. I don't have any motivation any longer.

I am lost. I am unhappy.

And I am soooooooo unbelievably guilty for feeling like this.

The Sandwich Generation; Balogna and Cheese

2010-09-13T21:23:00.003-05:00

I was born in 1965, a classic sandwich generation member. The Baby Boomers ended in 1964 and Generation X, while described as starting in 1965, didn't show its real defining characteristics until we got those born in the 70's starting to throw their weight around.

Now, like many my age, I am a member of the true Sandwich Generation; those of us who have our aging parents to the left, our burgeoning children to the right, and are gamely trying to balance the needs of both in the middle. I've written about this in the past when my mother lived with us in Minnesota.

Four years ago when we decided to move to Illinois, Mom decided to stay in Minnesota, then two years later moved to Phoenix. Now, 4 years into this odyssey, she has decided to move to Illinois. She will be here in October and is moving into a local Senior Citizen apartment complex. And I am glad - truly. Not so much because I deeply want to control any aspect of her life, but because my life is much easier when I am the one at her steering wheel.

My mom, though she would not admit to it, doesn't honestly want to be in charge of her life. She doesn't want the work, the worry, or the hassle. She's been this way since I was a child, and it wasn't that long ago that I finally realized that I've been raising my mom all along, in some ways. My sister and brothers are 6 - 9 years older than me and moved away from home when I was still in elementary school. They have never really related to Mom on the level I have, so they are happy to let me steer for awhile. I was the one who became a Christian when my mom did, the one who listened to her debate the merits of staying married to my father or divorcing him when I was in Junior High, the one who listened as she came to grips with her painfully abused childhood (even when I didn't want that role because it was too much like a mirror) and the one who helped her negotiate the road through cancer and widowhood when Dad died.

I may not have always wanted to fill that role, but it was there for me and I find myself filling it once again. For my mother who is older, now, and somewhat more selective in her memory, her hearing, and her tolerance, I am now the person in charge. I look at her now with a mixture of love and frustration. I miss the vibrant woman who loved to get out when I was younger, and I'm glad to have my daughter's sweet grandma back to where they can again be a vital part of one another's lives.

Yes, my mom can be frustrating and joyously funny at the same time. For me, the sandwich generation truly is one of bologna and cheese.

5 Days in Forks

2010-06-04T22:33:00.004-05:00

I should have been writing all this week (goodness knows there's enough material around here, what with Champs out of work, Grandma B visiting for the summer and work at The Big Company becoming a bit stressful), but I haven't been. Why? Because on Sunday afternoon my slightly obsessive personality and I went to the library.

And I found The Twilight Saga - the first three books.

Now, I had decided long ago not to see the movie. I'd seen the previews, read about the teenage devotion to Robert Pattison, saw the fervor for all things Edward and Bella... it seemed as though it would hold no interest for me, a nice mature mom and customer service representative. Also, I'm a Christian. There's more edifying things to watch than a movie about vampires, right? Right.

But then one day about 4 months ago, I was going through YouTube looking at snippets of TV shows when I found the entire Twilight movie posted in parts. I watched it and was surprised that it turned out to be pretty good. Nothing life changing, but I enjoyed it. And then forgot - until last Sunday.

Walking through the shelves, I didn't see anything of interest. I was in a mood for a romance, but I didn't see anything that caught my eye. I've already read every romance by my favorite author, Catherine Anderson and didn't feel like a repeat visit. That's when I saw the display of Twilight books - the first three, anyway. I decided to get them. I figured it could do no harm; unlike witchcraft, which is real and forbidden, these books were a story about vampires - fictional beings.

And oh! What a story! The first book, Twilight, was so much better than the movie ever thought of being. And each story after that was better than the last. Geekwif, who knows me well, warned me not to stay up all night reading. And I didn't - much. I only read until 1:30 or so each morning. And between calls, during breaks, at the pool, before and after meals, and while the family watched TV... The books pulled me in and wouldn't let me go. By dint of my friendship with the librarian, I was able to get the last book, Breaking Dawn, on Wednesday evening and finished it - all 750 pages or so - by Thursday night.

Stephanie Meyer is a wonderful author, and the world she created in Forks, Washington, is amazing. But I must say that I am glad to have returned from Forks and come back to my life in Champaign. Now I'm free to go obsess about something else.

Although - I hope she decides to write Jacob and Renesmee's story sometime!

Slug Bug Blue

2010-05-26T13:50:00.004-05:00

When I was a child - three, maybe 4 years old - my mother drove a baby blue Volkswagen Beetle. A blue bug. I have vague memories of riding around in the back seat of the bug, strapped into a blue vinyl and steel bar car seat that had as much chance of ripping the skin off the back of my thighs as it did of saving my life in the event of an accident.

My clearer memories of the bug - when I was, oh about 12 years old - are of pieces of the car scattered in various corners of our garage. Apparently the motor needed to be fixed. My father owned a gas station and was a mechanic, but like the proverbial shoeless children of the cobbler, our car was neglected in favor of more important things. Finally my dad pulled out the pieces and sold them off just to erase that project from his to-do list.

My mom is in town, and we've introduced her to the family obsession with playing "Slug Bug". One day on the road we saw a baby blue bug, which brought up our ill-fated beetle. And Mom told us a story.

When I was a baby, my mom had two Great Danes, a brother and a sister named Hercules and Sari. My mother's cousin, G Elaine, was a foster mother to 4 children with Down Syndrome. For some reason, these large dogs always charmed and calmed the kids when they were having a bad day. On such a day, G Elaine called my mom and asked her to bring the dogs over to help with the kids. Mom agreed, and not having the family sedan at her disposal, took me and the dogs in the bug.

After a successful day with the kids, we headed home - 25 miles away by freeway in rush hour traffic. When Mom was almost home, she saw lights in the rear view mirror; a cop was pulling her over! She checked her speed, her lane - anything she could think of, but everything was normal. When she got pulled over, she asked the officer what was the matter.

"Oh, nothing", replied the officer. "But when I saw this tiny car with these two big dog heads sticking out of the sun roof, I just had to see it for myself!" Slug Bug blue, indeed!

Getting my (satilite) signals crossed

2010-05-17T22:31:00.003-05:00

So yesterday my husband found this pretty yellow glass ball on a ribbon hanging from a stand. He found it on CraigsList for free and asked me if I would like it. I said sure. Today he got a message saying that we weren't first to ask, but no one had come for it, so whoever got there first could have it. Classic CraigsList, right?

I grabbed the address and hopped into my car. The TomTom needed a few moments to warm up and I knew the first half of the trip, so I started on my way. About the time my TomTom was ready to go my phone rang. It was my sister-in-law, Princsiss - only she sounded really confused. I sounded really confused. Her reason was that she thought she was calling our Mother-in-law. My reason was that I had reached the point where I needed to get the directions from the TomTom before I could go any further. At this point, the conversation kinda... faltered.

Me: Yeah, so I'm, ah well, I getting this glass ball. Yeah, mom is here fine. Dang, I need to go to, um, I don't know. Wait. I gotta pull into this parking lot. OK. I need to get onto Church but I don't.. darn! It says it's waiting for a valid signal! Hmmm. I guess you're probably thinking how blond I am right now, huh? Oh wait. I got it. Oh, I see. I have to turn on your dad's street. Not the street he lived on; the one named after him.."

Princsiss: So you're mom is in then? What are you doing? What? hahahahahahahahaha. Maybe I should go and let you figure this out.

And like that. I guess it's a good thing I pulled over, because I could barely carry on a conversation, let alone find my way to the apartment with the glass ball. All that for a 6 minute trip!

Editor's Note: Yes, I did get glass ball. It is quite pretty.

My time line is wavy

2010-05-12T07:47:00.003-05:00

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. ~Faith Baldwin

My parents were married in 1955 and the kids followed quickly; 1956, 1958, and 1959 each saw a new child. By the time the third one rolled around, the doctor pulled my father into the office and explained to him that he had to stop getting Mom pregnant; after three so quickly, another one would likely kill her.

I'm sure Mom didn't mind the break, either, what with three in diapers at once.

But medical science and young motherhood being what they are, eventually my mother forgot to take the pill one December morning. And, nearly six years after everyone else, I came along. And with my birth came my struggle with time, wondering where and how I fit into the continuum.

By now, my brothers were 6 and 7 years old, and my sister was 9. Growing up, I remember crying in my mother's arms that I was born too late - I didn't fit in. Everyone was so much older than me. My sister, Techno-Goddess, thought of me as a living doll. She mothered me, played school and taught me to read, and taught me every song on Elton John's album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. My brothers basically just beat me up a lot and made me miserable.

When it was time for Kindergarten, my mom had me tested and was told that while I was ready to go academically (I could already read at a second grade level or better), I was tiny and would probably get beaten up. Wanting to spare me, Mom and Dad held me back a year and I started when I was five - and turned six just a month later. School was always a bit hard; I was older than the other kids and I already lived with 5 people who were much older than me. It alienated me from the other kids; they felt I talked "too big" and I got along better with the teachers than I did with most kids my age.

Fast forward about 20 years. After I graduated from high school I went through a very long, painful period in my life that I pretty much just prefer to ignore; except for specific cherished memories those years do not exist. It's as though I erased 7 years from my life, restarting the clock again when I hit 25 years old and went to college for 2 years. When I graduated and moved back to my hometown, I started attending a local church and made friends with a group that were all 6 years younger than me. I didn't try to make it happen, it just did.

When I was 32, I met Champs quite by accident. At the time, he was 25 - 7 years my junior. Love being what it is, the age difference didn't matter and we got married. Got a great job, had a baby, bought a house. When I turned 40, my life was chronologically equivalent to a 34 year-old. It has stayed right there. By the calendar, I am 44, but when I look at my life, I feel like I am 38. I am vain enough to hope I look 38 and not 44, but that's not too big of a deal.

To add to the age-oddness I feel, my Mother-in-law is only one year older than my sister, and my brother-in-law was born the year I graduated from high school.

The older I get, the more I realize that time is fluid and we're all just riding the waves. The higher the numbers go, the more irrelevant they become.

Mother's Day, 4 Ways

2010-05-09T11:22:00.003-05:00

Today is, of course, Mother's Day (or as Sweet Girl says, our cat Jack's third birthday). While I've had a wonderful day so far, this day has me thinking of three other women as well, and thinking about how this day impacts them. Let me introduce you:

My Mom
My mom is turning 75 this July and is celebrating her 53rd Mother's Day. She has lived the gamut of Mother's Days; the first celebration, childish cards drawn with smudgy hands, bouquets of dandelions, teenage mumblings of thanks, grown adult children's thanks and now, "Happy Mother's Day, Grandma" and even "Happy Mother's Day, Great Grandma" cards. While I'm sure she can sit back and enjoy a job well done, I also wonder if she doesn't feel a certain sense of melancholy at the reversal of roles. Now we make sure she's taking her medicine, getting where she needs to be, and generally parenting her. Does she miss the old days, I wonder?

My Friend:
Perhaps my dearest friend in the world, C is married but does not have any children. I know she wishes that she did. When Sweet Girl was born, we asked C and her husband to be her Godparents, a role they've taken very seriously. She will call Sweet Girl just to talk, she's been there for every birthday and milestone. Now that we live out of town, she's not there as often, but I know this child of mine is the child of her heart. I don't mind sharing. C may not have a little girl at home, but she has one here - and she can celebrate Mother's Day with me as far as I am concerned.

Little B
Little B is a friend of mine in Tennessee. She is single and not a mom - in the strictest sense. However, she is a teacher and Assistant Principal at a Christian elementary and middle school. She is loved for her history teaching and her fair, wise discipline. She is also a Douala, helping bring new people into the world with love, prayers, and backrubs. I know she's not a mother, but she, too, has a mother's heart. I wonder how many moms, on this day, think of Little B and her contribution and send a blessing her way? I know I do.

Me
And then there is me. When Champs and I got married, we planned on having three kids. God and medical issues gave us one - Little Miss Sweet Girl. She is nine now. She greeted me this morning with a song she wrote herself. It wasn't a Billboard topper, but it was beautiful. Every note. Then she and her father went to the store to get the makings for my favorite breakfast, even though they hate it (I can't figure that out, actually. Who doesn't like corned beef hash and fried eggs?). Then Champs gave me a wonderful present of a digital frame. Well, first he gave me the wonderful present of Sweet Girl. She fills my heart and I'm glad I get to be her mom.

Ramen Revolution

2010-05-08T18:21:00.005-05:00

So last night was Girl Scouts, and I had to get Sweet Girl to her meeting in 30 minutes - and she needed to eat dinner first. Now, my daughter doesn't eat fast, so that meant I needed to cook fast. I had no time, and not a lot of ingredients laying around, what to do for dinner? Inspiration struck. We had leftover rotisserie chicken from the night before, a head of broccoli and some ramen noodles, so I came up with pan fried ramen noodles. If I do say so myself, it was pretty darn yummy - and fast! Because this is a basic process, you can change it up in anyway that works for you. No rotisserie chicken? Saute a frozen boneless chicken breast. No broccoli? Use green pepper, and so on.

Here's what I did:

In a 2 qt sauce pan, I put water, 1 head of broccoli cut into florets, and 2 packages of ramen noodles (without the flavor packets). I broke the block into quarters. Let them cook together; the water doesn't need to be boiling.

Then, in a large non-stick fry pan, I put a teaspoon of sesame noodles and dry-toasted them a bit. Then I added sesame oil, a couple turns of the pan. I then added about 2 teaspoons of garlic paste (you could use chopped garlic from a jar or fresh sliced or minced garlic - whatever you like). I took one package of the ramen soup spice (oriental flavor, in this case), and put half in the fry pan and half in the noodles and broccoli.

Next I added about 5 chopped green onions and a cup of shredded chicken and let that saute for a moment. By then, the noodles and broccoli were cooked, so I just grabbed a strainer spoon and spooned the noodles and broccoli in with the chicken and onions, keeping the pan on high and stir frying them together. I added a bit of the broth from the soup pan and fried to evaporate the broth and coat the noodles.

After a couple of minutes, I turned this out on to a plate and topped it all with a bit more sesame seeds, some Asian spice (red pepper flakes, ginger, etc.) and I would have thrown some cilantro on there if I'd had any.

Truly, this was about a 7 minute process from beginning to end. It took me longer to write this than it did to make it. It was so yummy, really inexpensive, and a big step up from simple ramen soup!

The family enjoyed it - and Sweet Girl was only 5 minutes late for Girl Scouts.

It is NOT a whole new game, is it?

2010-05-07T21:40:00.004-05:00

Did you play "Slug Bug" when you were a kid? You know, see a Volkswagen beetle, hit your brother and yell out, "Slug Bug blue!"? I grew up doing that - and then forgot about it when I became an adult. Mature. Responsible.

But thanks to the new, amazingly annoying Volkswagen commercials, "Red one!", featuring hits for any model, they claim that game is back, but it's "a whole new game". But for me, Champs, and Sweet Girl, it's still the same game and it only counts for the BUG.

Now when we are out driving around, there is a thrumming underlying current in the car. Who will see the first one? What color will it be? And will we find a true gem - an old Bug from the 60s? We've gotten to know that a high school student parks a red Bug on Crescent. A credit union employee parks their white Bug on John. Over at the bank on County Fair, another person parks a green one in the lot. There's so many running around; one trip may yield two or five - and the fun is not knowing when or where the next one will be, but hoping to be the first one to call out "Slug Bug yellow!" Or to be the one to hit back when we realize that it's actually a Cooper Mini or PT Cruiser, instead. Maybe that should be a different game - "Cruiser bruiser gold!"

Sweet Girl doesn't have any siblings; a fact that often saddens me. She doesn't have someone to compete against in the back seat. But Slug Bug? Well, we can give her that. And leave all this maturity behind for awhile.

Maybe it is a whole new game, after all.

The Secret is the Sesame Oil... or Maybe Just the Sweet Girl

2010-05-05T23:33:00.005-05:00

So I love to cook. And I love teaching my daughter how to cook. This week's lesson was homemade pork fried rice. Oooo, I love this dish! As fun as it is to make, it was so much fun explaining to Sweet Girl what I was doing with each step and why.

"OK, honey", said I, "I cooked this rice yesterday. Nice jasime rice - it is so yummy. But you need to cook it the day before, or at least the morning before." To which she asked, "well, why not the half-hour before?" - and then we discussed the merits of cool, dry rice in oriental cooking.

Then we moved on to the scrambled eggs. Four eggs scrambled in vegetable oil and then set in a bowl on top of the frozen peas to begin to thaw and cook them. Now, normally, she complains about the eggs in the rice, but because she got to scramble them up for me, she loved every bite (take note moms - this trick works wonders. Let them help you make it; it will suddenly become their favorite food).

We moved on to make sure the cilantro was chopped, the mushroom (just for her) cut into little chunks, the shredded carrots ready to go, and all the sundry bottles and jars lined up. With the misenplace in place, we were finally ready to begin putting it all together. After dry-toasting the sesame seeds, I let her saute the onions and garlic in the sesame oil. As she stirred, she commented on how good the scent was. I explained that the oil came from the pressed sesame seeds. Something that was so simple and matter of fact to me was a revelation to my 9 year-old! Then ginger, asian spice mix, a touch of red pepper flake, pork, veggies, rice... soy sauce. With each new spice addition, Sweet Girl wanted to taste test - well, not the red pepper flake! She even tried the sesame oil - just a drop - to see how the individual flavor became a part of the dish.

We got it all fried and served it up for ourselves and Daddy (along with mini chicken eggrolls from Sam's Club - Yummy!). You know, I've made this dish so many times, but I have to say that after making it with Sweet Girl, it tasted the best it ever has!

Sweet Girlisms?

2010-05-05T10:25:00.005-05:00

So here in blog land, we call our daughter Sweet Girl. However, at home, she has a few nicknames - most of which she really doesn't like much anymore.

When she was a baby and diaper changing was a scheduled part of our existence, she got the handle "Stinkybutt"... it stuck, of course. From there, her father came up with "Pooperdoop" - another winner that has stood the test of time.

Along the way we also got "Super Girl" from the neighbor, the aforementioned "Sweet Girl" for the blog, and also Tiglet, Punkerpoo, and (a throwback from my mama), "Snickelfritz".

But the two that she hears the most are, of course, Stinkybutt and Pooperdoop - to which she replies, "I am NOT a Stinkybutt!". Just this morning I told her not to worry, we'll keep Sweet Girl around. I mean, I can't label posts about her as "Pooperdoopisms", can I?

Um, no.

Peddling cookies at the dentist's office....

2010-05-04T21:55:00.002-05:00

My dentist and his assistant - well, the whole office it seems, love my cooking. It started by accident, really. First I let them know I was a Pampered Chef rep and offered a few recipes. Then one day I brought a couple of cookies from a recipe I was tweaking and testing so that I could get their opinions. Before long (and it didn't take long - I've had 3 or 4 crowns this year so I've been in the office a LOT in just a short time) I became their favorite patient. I mean, why not? I bring them cookies and I have so much work done on my mouth that I'm also assuring them all of a wonderful vacation!

But I digress... Last time I was in the office, 2 weeks ago for a crown prep, I was unable to make cookies for the dentist. It may have been the fact that I was in pain from injuring my back, or that I didn't have time to get them made as I was attending physical therapy in a pool - who knows. In any case, I promised them cookies today. I delivered. I took my "chewy chocolate chip" cookie recipe that I've been perfecting for the last few months and made "chewy oatmeal chocolate chip" cookies. I ground the oatmeal to give it a lighter tooth texture, but with the wonderfully oat flavor. I added just the right extracts to bring out the best in the chocolate. I pulled them out of the oven, packed them in a container, got in the car and went straight to the dentist's office.

I got my wonderful new crown - but not until everyone in the place had grabbed one - or two - of my new cookie creations. One person even went to remove their Invisaline braces tray just so he could have a cookie right then and there.

I got the fun of knowing my recipe works, but I had to laugh at the irony of bringing my sweet treats to the dentist's office and not getting chewed out for it!

I wonder how many cookies I would need to make to get my next crown for free?

Your Actions Speak Louder Than Your Words

2010-05-04T21:14:00.000-05:00

Sweet Girl missed the bus this morning and it was completely my fault. I took ownership of that and I took her to school. The reason she was late is because I felt it was more important to have a conversation with her than to get her up and eating a bowl of marshmallow mateys.

You see, when the alarm first went off, I ignored it, hoping Champs would get up with the girl. No luck there; he was dead to the world. However, as I lay there fending off the alarm with the snooze button, my mind drifted to yesterday. I realized that, in spite of 4 separate requests, Sweet Girl had managed to avoid practicing her piano pieces yesterday and she has her lesson today. I got up, walked to her room, woke her up and informed her of this fact.

Now, here's the thing: Our daughter has some ADD issues. Issues that we have not had formally tested (because it isn't in network for our insurance and because the initial testing costs more than 2000.00 and that doesn't even go into the charges for the therapy), and which we have not named to her face (why stick the kid with labels and also give her a ready excuse?). But the reality is that both my mother and I have been tested for and diagnosed with ADD as well. When we were young those labels didn't exist. We both learned to make it work with what we had. Because of this, I'm determined that Sweet Girl, too, will need learn to make things work for herself. It is hard, though, because she's at a crucial point in her development. She's nearly 10 and needs to start becoming more independent, and not have Mom and Dad do everything for her. She needs to take responsibility to get her "stuff" done everyday without one of us standing over her. And yet she cannot seem to do even the basics of this. Tonight her father told her that from the time after school up until she went to bed, she was to take a shower and practice her piano without being told to do so - or there would be consequences. She did neither and now she's grounded for two weeks. In the end, I know she loves music and her piano, she just finds the regimen of practice boring so doesn't get it done.

I will need to plan a trip to the library to see if there are any home-based solutions we can try. I've asked over and over of her teachers if there are any school or district psychologists who can help us, but I've gotten nowhere with that. I can't afford the medical route, either. Yet she needs some help. Perhaps there is a good book out there than can teach me how to help teach my girl to help herself.

In the meantime, she's getting up at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow to practice her piano. Sigh.

The Intelligence Continuum

2010-05-04T15:34:00.001-05:00

I believe there is a continuum of our own belief in our intelligence:

When we are children, we believe we know everything about a couple of things.
When we are teens, we believe we know more than our parents about everything.
When we are young adults, we believe we will know even more about everything.
When we are parents of children, they believe we know everything.
When we are parents of teenagers, they believe we know nothing.
When we are parents of young adults, we both believe that we know everything.
when we are older, we begin to realize that we really didn't know anything at all the whole way through the journey.

So here I am. Finally.

2010-05-03T21:12:00.000-05:00

I've been The Blond Girl, well, for 44 years - and in the blogsphere for the last 5 years over at "Rants, Raves, and Revelations of the Blond Girl". Today I had to close that blog because our gmail account got hacked. One of my most oft-heard comments was, "It doesn't matter what color you dye your hair, you'll always be The Blond Girl". I think this is true. Blond. Pink. Tulips. Sweet Girl. Champs. Lilacs. Peonies. It's who and what I am.

My lighthearted approach to the observations of life has been sorely abused the last 4 years. I recently realized that I miss the woman I was in 2005; slim, working a job I loved, doing things that seemed important - like writing and beading, spending time with friends. I felt that I had somehow lost all of that. But I realized, only days ago, that I didn't lose that; I lost how I looked at it.

In 2005, when I was at the top of my game writing, life was HARD! I had my 3rd hernia after my gastric bypass and I was fighting the insurance company to pay for my surgery. We had gotten taken by an unscrupulous lender and we were in an ARM mortgage that was getting ready to reset - at the same time that we were still recovering from John having been out of work. I was fighting to keep our house from being foreclosed upon. We were becoming disillusioned with our church and wondering if it was time to move on. And yet, if you were to read my blog at that time, you didn't see that. It was because I chose to focus on the light in our lives, not the darkness.

However, after we moved to Champaign, life got to be so hard. The finances imploded because we weren't working. I missed my job. We didn't have insurance. Then I finally got a good job but had to leave Champs and Sweet Girl for 6.5 months of training. I forgot to focus on the lightness in our lives, and was only able to see the darkness. I was overwhelmed by it and wondered what I needed to do to get back to who I was in 2005.

I realize now that I will never again be the woman I was in 2005 - and frankly, I don't want to be. I've matured. I've gained wisdom (and weight, too, unfortunately!). But what I can get back from 2005 is looking at the lights in my life. So that's how I want to start to write again - from a place of light. The Bible tells us that light overcomes darkness. I'm ready to test that promise. Welcome to Highlights of The Blond Girl.

P.S. It doesn't look like much now, but Geekwif is working on a new template for me. I love that woman!

Oh, She's Blond, too.

2010-04-30T21:09:00.000-05:00

Just now, our daughter walked over to the sliding glass door and looked out. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "I heard something cracking." I replied, "That was your sanity." In all seriousness, she looked back at me and said, "No, it was outside."

Uh ha, Uh ha.

From Rants and Raves to Highlights!

2010-04-28T20:16:00.000-05:00

So we got hacked - irrevocably hacked - early in April. The hackers got me through my Facebook account and from there took my Gmail accounts and Yahoo accounts, sending out emails to everyone on my contact list and then cleaning out my lists. What a pain! We thought we had cleaned it up and fixed everything when we found that our old gmail account had somehow been directed to a porn chat site. The avatars were disgusting and graphic. Right at that moment, we decided to completely ditch the gmail account. We had to! I mean, we were so glad that Sweet Girl wasn't the one who found it.

Right away, I created a new gmail account and it has not been accessed on the home computer yet. Only the laptop. Next up, we have to wipe the home computer and re-install everything. Then I realized that I would be losing my blog. I've tried to think of any way to avoid losing it, but I realized that as soon as I disable our old gmail account, I would lose "Rants, Raves and Revelations of the Blond Girl". While the loss is lamentable, I am ready for a bit of a change. So I have a new gmail account, and a new blog. Welcome to "Highlights of The Blond Girl"!

I went through my old blog and from 434 posts, I retained 167, moving them to this blog. Now I have a new canvas upon which to create - and that is what I am hoping to do... create again.

My dearest friend, Geekwif, is making a new template for me. And whooo boy, am I looking forward to it! Soon, Blond Girl, soon...

A Total Rant

2010-04-13T00:23:00.000-05:00

just want to go on record as saying that today totally sucked.

Why?

1. Back injury. Physical Therapy. Pain. 'Nuff said.
2. My FB account got hacked.
3. Then they hacked my Yahoo account.
4. And erased all my contacts.
5. THEN they hacked my Gmail account.
6. AND erased all the contacts, there, too.
7. My husband worked for hours to get them back. During this time we got about 30 calls and emails from friendly folks whose computers were under attack from our computer because we got hacked.
8. Then our daughter came home in pain
9. So we took her to the doctor. Ear Infection.
10. We came home and my family tried the chocolate creme brulee that I made for the first time. I did it right. They didn't like it.
11. THEN Facebook disabled my account for the whole hacking episode and I didn't even do anything wrong!

Uh huh. SUCKED!!!! I'm going to bed. Let's see how I can mess that up.

Feeding Our Dog - or - Dozer Deserves an A!

2009-09-15T20:12:00.000-05:00

Now that Dozer is a member of the family, I've stepped up my research and learning about all things dog. Prior to bringing him home, I became a fan of "It's Me or The Dog" on TV, learning about proper socialization and training. I lurked all over the AKC and other websites learning the major differences in temperament and breed standards for the large working breed dogs. But when Dozer came home, I started researching Bull Mastiffs and Boxers in particular (he is a mix of the two), and paying particular attention to the best foods for him.

At the website GoliathMastiffs.com, I found a page that gave TONS of information about the ingredients in commercial, vet, and holistic dog foods. Some of the information turned my stomach, to be honest. I learned that almost all commercial dog foods are made of ingredients that I don't want my dog to eat!

At the end of the page, the author provided a way to grade your dog's food from A to F. I found out that Dozer's food is only a C or C- and may possibly be contributing to skin issues and a probable reason for his stinkiness. Since then I've found a food that we'll be starting him on this week - it grade an A+ and doesn't have any corn or wheat - common allergens for dogs. Who knows - maybe cats, too.

Because I've learned so much from this, I give to you the Dog Food Grader. I encourage you to check out the web page where I found it, and then grab your dog's bag of food and check out the ingredients against the score card. Who knows? You may find yourself heading to the local feed store sooner than you think!

How to grade your dog's food

Start with a grade of 100:

1. For every listing of "by-product", subtract 10 points
2. For every non-specific animal source ("meat" or "poultry", meat, meal or fat) reference, subtract 10 points
3. If the food contains BHA, BHT, or ethoxyquin, subtract 10 points
4. For every grain "mill run" or non-specific grain source, subtract 5 points
5. If the same grain ingredient is used 2 or more times in the first five ingredients (i.e. "ground brown rice", "brewer's rice", "rice flour" are all the same grain), subtract 5 points
6. If the protein sources are not meat meal and there are less than 2 meats in the top 3 ingredients, subtract 3 points
7. If it contains any artificial colorants, subtract 3 points
8. If it contains ground corn or whole grain corn, subtract 3points
9. If corn is listed in the top 5 ingredients, subtract 2 more points
10. If the food contains any animal fat other than fish oil, subtract 2 points
11. If lamb is the only animal protein source (unless your dog is allergic to other protein sources), subtract 2 points
12. If it contains soy or soybeans, subtract 2 points
13. If it contains wheat (unless you know that your dog isn't allergic to wheat), subtract 2 points
14. If it contains beef (unless you know that your dog isn't allergic to beef), subtract 1 point
15. If it contains salt, subtract 1 point

Extra Credit:

1. If any of the meat sources are organic, add 5 points
2. If the food is endorsed by any major breed group or nutritionist, add 5 points
3. If the food is baked not extruded, add 5 points
4. If the food contains probiotics, add 3 points
5. If the food contains fruit, add 3 points
6. If the food contains vegetables (NOT corn or other grains), add 3 points
7. If the animal sources are hormone-free and antibiotic-free, add 2 points
8. If the food contains barley, add 2 points
9. If the food contains flax seed oil (not just the seeds), add 2 points
10. If the food contains oats or oatmeal, add 1 point
11. If the food contains sunflower oil, add 1 point
12. For every different specific animal protein source (other than the first one; count "chicken" and "chicken meal" as only one protein source, but "chicken" and "" as 2 different sources), add 1 point
13. If it contains glucosamine and chondroitin, add 1 point
14. If the vegetables have been tested for pesticides and are pesticide-free, add 1 point

94-100+ = A
86-93 = B
78-85 = C
70-77 = D
69 = F

The newest member of the family

2009-09-06T00:25:00.000-05:00

Family Expansion on a Weeknight

Champs has wanted a dog pretty much since the day we got married almost 11 years ago. Due to varying circumstances - most of them revolving around rental agreements or long employment hours, it just couldn't happen.

However, when we bought our home in March, the door opened for us to finally get a dog. We determined that we wanted a large dog; a Great Dane, preferably, or a mastiff.

We were lined up to adopt a Great Dane in we found in Indiana on Petfinder, but that fell through, breaking our hearts. After that, we tried to adopt a bull dog and then a Great Dane on Craig's List, but the owners were not upright in their business dealings. It was beginning to look like we may never find a dog for our family. Until this last Tuesday.

On Tuesday night, Champs was looking on Petfinder again when he saw these sad eyes looking out from the screen. He immediately wrote to the woman, who responded a few minutes later, giving us the go ahead to call her the next day after noon and discuss meeting the dog. Champs had Wednesday off, so he anxiously awaited noon and then gave Kristine at Eye on the Sparrow Dog Rescue a call. He explained our situation and asked about the dog. Then he agreed to come that evening - if she promised that she wasn't going to back out at the last minute. He explained that we couldn't handle that kind of pain again.

After hearing our story, she promised that the only way we would leave without the dog was if it was our choice. After I got off work, we drove 2.5 hours to northern IL and met the dog she called Andre. He was such a quiet, gentle love. Being a special needs rescue, we knew he may have some issues. He is about 5 years old and is already showing the beginnings of hip displaysia. But even when he was obviously uncomfortable, he was gentle, loving, obedient and calm - exactly the kind of dog I wanted for my introduction back into dog owning, and just what we needed for our daughter and my work-at-home-on-the-phone job. So we brought him home. We didn't get home until after 10:30 on Wednesday, and John needed to be up by 3:45 the next morning. Champs didn't think about the lost sleep; he only thought about the dog.

Bringing a new dog home at 10:30 the night before you have to work, the kid has to go to school, and the cats are expecting another average day is, to say the least, a possibly foolhardy proposition. It worked well though. Well, other than the cats. They were unimpressed, to say the least. Now, four days later, they are beginning to calm down.

By Thursday evening, we had to bathe our new Bull Mastiff, and we were still working on a name for him. When we tried to get him in the tub, he would have none of it - living up to the bull part of his breed, and we couldn't budge him, living up to the mastiff part of his breed. We finally threw up our hands in defeat and took him outside and bathed him on the sidewalk.

By Friday, after entertaining a lot of name options (Chief, Apollo, Fred, Ed, Duncan, Duke, etc.), we decided on his new name: Dozer. As in bulldozer. As in dozes all day (and he DOES!), as in "wow, that's a doozie of the dog!"). It fits him. We've been giving him treats and saying his name to socialize him to it. We've been taking him on walks and teaching him to heal. We've been talking about getting him to the vet to look at his hips and elbows (from laying on a concrete shelter floor). We've been feeding, walking, and teaching the cats to accept him.

And somehow I've gotten past the slobber and the dog stink to the heart of this beautiful, gentle giant. When the other adoptions fell through, I kept telling Champs that we just had to have faith that God knew the desires of his heart and would bring us the right dog at the right time. Dozer may not be a young puppy, and he may need extra support from us sooner rather then later, but he is family now, and we will do what is needed.

Because I love my husband. And when I saw him laying on the floor next to his dog, asleep and content, I fell in love with Dozer. The newest member of our family.

Here are the comments from this post:
Jean-Luc Picard said...
A large dog can'r be easy to look after, yet Dozer seems a very calm, gentle giant, as you say.
NetChick sent me here.

bellamocha said...
Hello, NetChick sent me!!
Your new dog is beautiful...wow! I have been a dog lover and owner all my life and can't imagine being without one. We have a golden lab right now...we thought he was big until I saw yours!
Keep posting the pictures, we'd love to see them! I'm glad that after the previous one fell through, you have brought Dozer home. I wish you much joy with your gentle giant!
Bella :)

David said...
so glad you found such a LARGE love

USA IPO creates opportunity - and interest - in the trading sector

2009-08-23T02:04:00.000-05:00

Our company has a feature in a weekly newsletter called "The Leek". It is a takeoff on The Onion. Working with equities gives me a bit of a different view of our world. With that world view in mind, I wrote a satirical piece on the government and the stock market for The Leek and submitted it. We'll see if it runs there. But this is my page and my writing, so I will run it here. This is fictional satire! Remember that: FICTIONAL :-)

Enjoy.

USA IPO creates opportunity - and interest - in the trading sector

In an unprecedented move to capitalize on raising economic optimism, increase investor confidence, and end the recession, the US Government announced on Tuesday that it is going public. Stock, that is, trading under the ticker USA. With an initial public offering of 500 million shares expected to be priced in the range of $22.00 - $23.00 per share, the government hopes to raise enough cash to continue funding economic stimulus packages while reducing the national debt. The bill was presented to the house and senate on Monday morning, discussed at noon, and voted into law shortly after 3:00 p.m. Majority Leader Larry Read (D-NV) was quoted as saying, "The bill passed soundly. Then we went to lunch."

While investors are looking forward to the offering, a Gallop Poll completed today indicates there is some concern among citizens wondering if the IPO will be in the best interest of the government. "Yes, this is a bold plan, but we expect it to be highly successful", stated White House Press Secretary Robert Dibs, "the plan here is to price USA in such a way that the average citizen can purchase their own piece of the government. This will allow us to use the money from the people, for the people. It's all very constitional-ish".

The IPO, which is expected to take place next Wednesday, has already garnered excitement in trading circles. Ameriprise Financial, Merrill Lynch and TD Ameritrade have all reported taking hundreds of questions and advanced orders for the stock.. Ameriprise, at least, has stood by it's business practice of non participation in IPOs. "However, as soon as USA is trading on the NASDAQ and third markets, we will be accepting orders", Ameriprise stated in a press release. Interest in the IPO is not limited to American investors. China's Prime Minister When Tiabao has already stated that he plans on buying "at least 20,000 shares of USA", indicating willingness on China's part to help relieve some of the foreign gross national debt currently facing the government.

Questions still remain about the IPO, particularly the formation of a board of directors, the possibility of a hostile takeover by an investor with a greater than 51% ownership, if OFAC-listed nationals will be allowed to purchase shares of USA, as well as concerns for stockholder meeting locations. Without providing particulars, Dibs pointed out that all these questions will be answered prior to the IPO next week, stating, "We're moving fast, but we're moving confidently."

Here's the comments from this post:
AussiePomm (Bernie) said...
Interesting read... I might invest it it!!! lol lol lol
Netchick sent me over to see the proposal you put up!

Star said...
That could run in the Onion !

Emme Rogers said...
Too funny! I especially love how you needed to emphasize that it was Fictional. I write a fictional blog about me (whose also fictional) and people are forever thinking all those things are happening to my writer (the poor girl, I'm constantly getting her into trouble).
By the way, also love all the crazy names you have for people. Glad I wandered over here from NetChick.
Have a great Sunday!
Emme

Paul Nichols said...
Hey there! Great to see you again! Thank you for stopping by my joint. I didn't see your post until a short while ago.
And this was a great write. I can't really see much difference between what you just wrote and the spin the "doctors" put on everything. Are you sure it isn't fiction? Nevertheless, it's good.
Sad about Diesel. Sorry. Have you had any new opportunities? Have you ever thought about adopting a greyhound? What great dogs! They love kids.

MissMeliss said...
Hah! Fabulous. And so good to hear from you again.

Diesel Isn't Coming Home

2009-07-28T00:31:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, when something painful happens, you just don't know how to process it.

Champs has wanted a dog ever since we got married, but it has never been an option for us because we wanted a big dog – bigger than most rental contracts will allow. When we started looking for a house to buy last year, we agreed that the time was finally right for us to bring a dog home. After researching, talking and being honest about what we wanted and could handle in a dog, we decided that the right dog for us was the gentle giant – a male Great Dane. We agreed that we would look for an adult dog to give a home to as soon as we bought a house. On closing day, I don’t think the ink was dry on the deed before Champs was searching PetFinder.com for our new boy.

Finally, Champs found him – the perfect Great Dane for us. For the last two weeks, we’ve been going through the process to adopt Diesel from a rescue in Indiana. We've completed applications, emailed back and forth, and spoke on the phone with the rescue lady. We wanted to go next Friday so that we could have the holiday weekend for him to settle in. Instead, she wanted us to get him this weekend. She said that he is such a great dog that if he stayed any longer she might keep him herself. We made our plans, went shopping to buy new doggy stuff for our big baby, created a poll to decide which one of three carefully chosen names he would be given, emailed everyone we know with our news, and generally let ourselves get wrapped up in the excitement of giving this rescue dog a new, loving home.

So this morning we got up early and drove four hours to Indiana to bring Diesel home. We spent nearly two hours there, getting to know him and falling in love with what a great dog he is, only to have the rescue lady tell us that she couldn't give him away. We'd be great dog owners - just not for this dog, she said.

I think she was concerned by my reaction when I met him, which was "wow, you're beautiful... and BIG!." It took me a couple of moments to be ready to pet him - not because I didn't like him or I was afraid, but mostly because I wanted to be sure he wouldn't jump on me. I had told her that I grew up with Great Danes but hadn't owned one of my own or lived with one in 20 years. I may be wrong, but I think that after that long, it's not unreasonable to expect that I might need a couple of minutes to get reacquainted with the breed.

He was too perfect and she couldn't bear to let him move so far away, she said. Maybe if we lived closer so she could come and see him, then it would have worked, she said. He'd lived a hard life and deserved to be in a home where he would be loved like one of the children with no boundaries, she said. It concerned her that we didn't want him to sleep in our bed, she said. And then she went on to say that she wanted him to be in a home where he would be the only dog, but since she fell in love with him, she was taking him home to live with her four other Great Danes.

It took her nearly 20 minutes to go from "I'm not sure if I can give him up. I told myself this morning that I could, that I was ready, but now that you're here, I don't think I can do it" to "No, you can't have him." Champs finally had to leave because he was so upset, but I stayed behind to see if there was anything I could say to ally her concerns. I mean, we had passed the application process and we loved the dog. Sweet Girl, who has been nervous around big dogs before, but had no fear of him, had spent the hour hugging him, stroking him, and falling in love. We knew that Diesel was the perfect dog for our family; sweet, calm, loving, and gentle.

But I realized that nothing I could say meant anything to her. I don't think it was really about us - she just fell in love with the dog herself, which I can understand. What I can’t understand is why she didn't have the nerve or the courtesy to call and tell us how she felt beforehand so that we didn't take the long trip only to have our hearts broken. I think she was hoping that either we wouldn't want him and then she'd have an out, or that she could find something horribly wrong with us so that she could justify keeping him. But we came and loved him, and other than the fact that I want him to sleep in a doggy bed on the floor (which we'd already bought for him), and that I didn't fall over myself adoring him (which just isn’t something I would do, no matter how much I love an animal), she had no other reason to turn us away.

And when my daughter stood crying by the dog's kennel because she couldn't understand why Diesel wasn't coming home with us, the rescue lady's business partner leaned down and told my daughter, "Face it, you're not getting the dog.", then straightened, smiled at me and said, "I'm a grandma. I know how to handle them." That's when I picked up my daughter, picked up my purse, and walked out.

And just like that, we drove home 253 miles with our daughter crying for the first two hours of the trip. No dog. No new family member to love. Only pain, and the indefinable question, "why was I not good enough?"

Here's the comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
I wish there was something to say that could actually make you feel better, but I know there's not. All I can say is that this woman was selfish, inconsiderate, dishonest, and cowardly to the Nth degree; and her friend does not deserve to have grandchildren if that's how she "handles" them. To say something like that to a child in that situation is absolutely unpardonable.
I'm so sorry you and Champs and especially Sweet Girl had to go through this. I hope you find another dog soon that is even more wonderful and will help to wipe out the memory of this painful experience with lots of happy tail wags and sweet puppy-like affection.

gift4gab said...
That is a HORRIBLE way to treat people, especially a child. Is there someone you can report this lady too? Someone higher up in the rescue group?
I am so sorry your family went through that - I am ashamed that they were able to behave that way.
Good luck.

Tammy said...
That woman dared to call herself a grandma and had the nerve to say to Sweet Girl, "Face it, you're not getting the dog."??????? You've GOT to be kidding?!?!? If I had been there with my Irish temper in tow, I would have slapped her to start with... You would have had to bail me out of jail. I am soooo sorry to hear what you went through. =(

David said...
i can't believe this, but since you said it I will try to get my mind around the concept of people being so selfish. She was clearly NOT thinking about the dog's well being.
This makes me sad.

Jean said...
That was a real nasty way they treated you all... Feel very bad. I was really hoping that at the end Diesel would have somehow come with you.

Maybe a gift card?

2009-06-22T22:14:00.000-05:00

My husband used to be so easy to buy gifts for; get him a tool. He loves it. He's happy. I'm happy. End of story.

Until this spring.

I decided to get Champs this really righteous set of steak knives for Father's Day; the perfect accessory to his grill and smoker and the luscious meats that issue forth from them. The only problem is that he intercepted the box at the door and I couldn't think of a suitable lie, so I ended up telling him that they were his present. I warned him that now he wasn't going to get any present at all except maybe a few good steaks to toss on his grill. That was the story anyway; all this had occurred a good month before the big day, so I figured I would try again.

I went back to my tool theory. Champs has been wanting a power washer. Now, this is a substantial purchase, so I decided to get him one that would be for both Father's Day and his birthday, which is on July 7. He was given to searching for models on the web, so I had a pretty good idea of what he wanted. When he printed one out, I figured I had him nabbed. Until the next day, when he was on his way to help his brothers do some work at his Mom's house. That's when he unvieled his plan; he was going to Home Depot to buy a power washer that he agreed to buy with his brother. Yeup; half ownership on his Father's Day/birthday gift. I sighed, handed him a 10% off coupon and wrote a check for our half.

I told him the next day that I had planned to buy him one of his own in about 3 more weeks.

OK... so we're getting close to the big day and I still need to get a gift for my hubby. I mean, yeah, he's got two great gifts already, but I have to have something for him, right? Right.

I went to Walmart and decided on a new DVD player. Ours just up and died in February, which means that every movie we've watched has been shown on a portable DVD player temporarily hooked up to the TV. Yeah, that's the ticket; the movie ticket! I got him a box of raisenettes to go along with it and tossed the machine in the trunk of the car.

When I got home from Walmart, Champs struck again.

He showed me what he had found on PetFinder.com - a beautiful 4 year-old male purebred Great Dane in need of a home. Now, we just bought our home in March and this is the first time since we've been married that we're able to consider buying a dog. I don't think the ink on the deed was dry before Champs started looking for a Great Dane for us. And this boy is perfect. He's house trained, gentle and beautiful. And he's in Indiana. And his adoption fee is $200.00. And we have nothing. at. all. to take care of a dog. No brush, bowls, food, toys, shampoo, dog bed, AnyThing.

Now, I'm happy to get the dog (and all the attendant paraphernalia), in fact, we went out on Sunday afternoon and spent a good $80.00 just picking out starter dog stuff. But it did get me to thinking that he should be Champs' Father's Day and Birthday present. All told, we'll put more into that dog than I would have for the steak knives and the power washer combined. I explained this to Champs and he agreed. The DVD player hasn't been opened yet. We might return it... who knows?

But I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier from the get-go if I hadn't just gotten him a gift card?

Backhanded Compliment

2009-06-15T10:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Champs and I went to Walmart to get ready for our housewarming/birthday party. While we were there we got some beer and wine coolers. The lady asked for my ID and said they have to card for anyone under 40. I said, "well, then, I'm 43, so I'll take that as a compliment. Must mean I look under 40."

She smiled and nodded and was ahead until she said, "well, not that much under 40."

Sigh

Here's the comment from this post:
David said...
some people just do not know when to be quiet

Why Didn't I Think of That?!?!

2009-05-09T17:11:00.000-05:00

I am a Pampered Chef consultant and April was our Kit Enhancement Month, when we can buy any product at all for 40% off; no limits. Well, of course, I entered my order at 11:55 p.m. on the last day of April. The same day I closed a party, placed a paperwork order, and finalized a number of returns for customers. As you can imagine, I have been getting packages from Pampered Chef every day for the last week.

So this morning when I was in the bathroom, the doorbell rang. Champs went to the door to find that UPS had brought another box. I walked out of the bathroom to find him going through it. He let me know that the pineapple wedger is on back order, but everything else had arrived. The salt & pepper grinder stand was there. The crinkle cutter, the forged steak knife set, the silicone whisk... it was all there. About then, I had a heart attack and said, "NO!!! You're not supposed to open that box!"

Champs looked at me, the forged steak knife set in his hand and asked why. "Because", I informed him, "those knives you're holding are your Father's Day present!" I had intended to put the (extremely nice and pretty darn expensive life-time guaranteed) knives together with a couple of very expensive steaks, some nice smoking wood, and a new BBQ mitt for the Grill Master. Yes, I know he would have wanted to grill them that day, and yes, I know it would be Father's Day and he shouldn't have to grill, but you have to understand. For Champs, this would not be work. This would be a great gift. A wonderful gift which he was currently holding the chief component of in his hands.

Champs has a great sense of humor and says I don't need to get him another Father's Day present. I will, but it won't be as grand as I had originally planned.

So later I was on the phone with my sister who lives in Phoenix. I told her the whole sad story. To which she replied, "well, why didn't you just tell him it was for a customer who asked you to order it special for them?"

Lie? Uh, yeah... I didn't think of that!

Here's the one (enlightening!) comment on this post:
David said...
yes its OK to lie to us about presents, we even like it sometimes

Ah, so THAT'S why!

2009-04-27T18:26:00.000-05:00

We're coming off a crazy month. We bought our new house in early March and moved in on March 21. I took a week off of work and painted two rooms. I got most everything settled and we're down to the last few boxes and small fix-it jobs before I'm ready to call us settled. New stove and dishwasher, free piano - this place has been a hothouse of activity for 5 weeks.

But not just here. 8 year-old Sweet Girl has been busy as well. After seeing a our local park district's production of "Beauty and the Beast Jr.", she had to give it a shot. We signed her up for the next production, "Annie, Jr.", a production of 50 children ranging in age from 7 to17. She (and Mom's taxi) went straight into 6 weeks of rehearsals - yes, the same time as our move and settling in. Hey, if you're going to go for a bit of stress, do it right, no?

So anyway, this being her first foray into the theatrical world, Sweet Girl was, appropriately, in the orphan chorus. She wasn't in a lot of numbers, but she was as cute as can be and did a great job. The play wrapped up last week and she has been feeling a bit as though the wind has been been let out of her sails. To congratulate her on a job well done, I bought both versions of "Annie" at Amazon; the one with Carol Burnett and then the 1999 Disney version starring Victor Garbor and Kathy Bates. It was the second version we decided to watch tonight, as the story line is closer to the original play.

As we watched the movie, we compared it to the play Sweet Girl had been in; songs changed, lines missing, different dance steps. During the song, "NYC", there is a large ensemble dance, telling the story of a hopeful star-to-be who has just arrived in New York. The number crescendos to this big routine with some 30 tap dancers, each beating a perfect rhythm to the song, while carrying a small suitcase. In the midst of the highly choreographed showstopper, Champs commented to our daughter, "you didn't do that in your show".

Without missing a beat, Sweet Girl turned to her dad and said, "of course not. We didn't have enough suitcases".

Here's some comments:
Geekwif said...
Ha! Sounds like your girl is developing a rapier wit just like her mom. :)

kenju said...
Priceless!

David said...
Great to find you here again, and with so much good news. Theater is WON DER FUL> I just went to see 'Tuna does Vegas' and laughed so hard I snorted!

OMG!!!!

2009-01-22T01:12:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, YES... I know I have to write part two of my revelation/reclamation/resolution post. But I haven't been there lately.

I've been focusing on something else. The roots of it all.

After 2 1/2 years here in Champaign (has it been that long already?!?!)

we

bought

a

house!!!!!

AAUGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

OK. I'm going to bed now to continue my freaking out in the privacy of my room. I wonder when/if I'll ever fall asleep?

A couple of comments:
Thumper said...

CONGRATS!!!! I know your excitement (and anxiety!) because we just bought a house, and moved in last week. It feels funny to be that excited over something people do every day, but c'mon! IT'S A HOUSE!!!

Major, major congrats and squeals!

12:35 PM
Blogger David said...

That is so cool
glad you found a 'keeper"
now for all the fun paperwork.
praying God blesses you

2009... Resolution? Revolution? I'm working on it!

2009-01-08T00:42:00.000-06:00

So here it is, 2009. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about 2009. I haven't yet gotten to the action of it all, but I am thinking. There are two main paths around which my thoughts have repeatedly circled.

My first circular pattern is hope. Working in finance, I've had every possible bad news thrown my way. Stocks are down, the Fed is frozen, jobs are scarce... the end of 2008 seemed to have the nation exhaling a collective sigh of relief and looking forward for some hope. Hope for a better future, a better life, a better... something. Hope is a very nebulous thing. Merriam Webster defines hope "to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment". Even when I looked to see how hope is defined in light of the Bible, I found "the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God's guidance". Not real exact, is it? And yet it seems, to me anyway, that the general populace is hoping things will get better but not defining how, or where. My dad used to say "wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which fills up first." Forgive the crassness; it was his, not mine. And yet, he had a point. Wishing without action is pointless. I've decided, then, that if I want to have some sense of hope for 2009, then I need to take action - with God's guidance.

My second circular pattern of thought is change. Not Obama vs. McCain change. Personal change. I heard recently that New Year's Resolutions are down; something like 60% less people make resolutions than did 20 years ago. It basically comes down to two reasons - first, people fear failure. Second, they don't feel the need to change. While I do certainly fear change, I also equally recognize the need for change. Clearly, I need to make some resolutions. Or is that a personal revolution?

Now the only questions I haven't answered are - what am I hoping for? What will I change? And how do I go about it without falling straight into failure?

Yeah, that's another post. Stay tuned.

Geekwif had this to say:
Hey! You posted! Maybe I should get working on your Christmas gift from last year, huh? ;-)

Dead in the Kitchen

2008-09-01T22:38:00.000-05:00

As I sit here to write this, I am listening to my husband put laundry away. Laundry that I washed, but not at home. Laundry that I washed at our local SuperSudz. All I want - and NOT for Christmas (I can't wait that long!) is a reliable washer and dryer. I want my kitchen to be a place where things get clean, not where things die. I've been trying, really...

You see, it goes like this:

In 2006, just after we sold our house in preperation for moving to IL, we purchased a used Maytag washer and dryer for $50.00 from my co-worker at The Big Company. It was a great deal and the machines worked great. We used them at the rental where we lived for 8 months until the big move to Illinois and we've used them since we got here.

Until recently.

A couple of months ago, the washer begin walking. Now, you expect a child to start walking. You
do not expect your washer to walk. Loudly. And shake. Extensively. Like Elvis on the Ed Sullivan show, shaking his hips and walking across the stage on his toes, holding the mike stand for balance. Rythmic entertainment aside, I knew this couldn't be good.

I called out a local appliance repairman and paid him $28.00 for the privelege of learning the machine was terminally ill and would die; it was only a matter of time. He did tell me that I could continue to use it until the end. It was listening. The machine died a watery death on our kitchen floor just two days later. Champs quickly pulled the washer out of the laundry closet so we could clean. OK, hw pulled out the washer, the dryer and the fridge so we could clean water up from every corner of that kitchen. Snaps to the ShopVac!

After a week of laundromat lingo, We went to Craigslist, where we found a washer listed for $75.00. The seller was offering a money back guarantee for 30 days, so we went for it. Champs brought it home on August 10th, hooked it up and I started washing. The first load was good. The second was a bit, um, noisy. By the next day, it was apparent this machine was just not spinning or draining properly. The third day, Champs opened the machine to find out that the water pump was shot. You got it - another machine died a watery death on our kitchen floor. Helllooooo ShopVac!

It took some time, but we did get our $75.00 back from the seller. Meanwhile, we went back to Craigslist, where we found a full set - the washer and dryer - for $75.00 but with no guarantee. We tried one more time and brought them home on August 17th. We're having a garage sale in a couple of weeks, so we figured on selling the dryer to hopefully help get some of our money back. I also found out that we can take the dead washers to the local metal scrap yard and get paid for the steel in the machine. Even in death, a Maytag is worth something. Anyway, Champs hooked up the third machine to be in our kitchen in less than a month.

I did laundry in this Maytag for 4 days and all was well except for the tiniest little leak. On day 5, however, in the middle of dinner, the machine began to squeal. To whine. To loudly scream that it would not go quietly into that good night. It smoked, rattled and came to a dead stop. That was on August 21 and since then I have spent every Saturday at the laundromat washing my clothes and wishing I was home.

We're done trying Craigslist. We're done with used machines. We can't afford new ones right now. I'll report back in about a week though - we've got something in the works. I hope so, anyway.

I don't think I can take another Saturday listening to people argue with themselves over the rinse cycle.

Will He Ever Learn?

2008-08-17T18:19:00.001-05:00

I swear I do not understand the male of the species.

What is it that gives them such boundless optimism that they will get their way regardless of how their woman feels about it? Why is it that they will push and push, trying repeatedly to get what they want but you don't want to give, especially in the bedroom? Never mind the fact that from the very first time you share your bed with them, you make it clear what is your space and what is their space.

I did. I made it clear: "I will give you all the lovin' you crave when I'm awake, but don't go waking me up just to meet your needs, buster." And most of all, I made it abundantly, consistently, clear that he would never be welcomed there.

And yet the male persists. Optimistic and pesky, he looks to his woman for the attention and gratification he seeks, regardless of how she may feel about it.

And so, at four o'clock this morning, after trying to fend off his advances, I finally had enough and just kicked him out of my bed.

Stupid cat. When will Gus learn that I am never going to share my pillow?

Some comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
Well, I suspect you accomplished what you set out to do. I was thinking, "Oh, dear lord, she has gone too far. I really don't want to know that."
I should have known, shouldn't I?

Thumper said...
Just when I was thinking, "punch him in the nads once and he'll never do it again..."
Gus probably doesn't even have his anymore and it wouldn't deter him anyway. Max is just like that...

David said...
funny, every time i read it, thanks.
Today I kayaked for 2 hours on our lake. It was glorious. Soon I get a massage for my sore muscles…. Life is good

Will the real Blond Girl please stand up?

2008-07-31T01:31:00.000-05:00

Have you ever gone so far from who you were previously that you have trouble finding the old person in the midst of the new? That is me. I've been walking through a two year identity crises that began when I packed up everything I ever knew of life in Minnesota, quit the job I loved and moved here to Illinois. I haven't written much lately because I keep thinking about the gaps - how much I've missed writing and how to bridge the Blond Girl who wrote everyday to the Blond Girl who spent the first 18 months in a new state putting out fires to this new Blond Girl who is finally setting out to create a new, permanent identity here.

So, instead I'll put it up for a vote. If I am still on any blog rolls or Typepads, I guess someone will see that I've finally written. And if they do see it, it should be someone who used to faithfully read my rants, ravings, and revelations and who I used to read in return. In anycase, I will leave it to your comments. I've been gone awhile. I'm interested in starting again, but I don't know where to start. So, if you have any suggestions on where to start or any questions on where to begin, then please leave me a comment. I will listen.

I promise.

Some comments from this post:
Thumper said...
Just pick a point and start writing again. Maybe "Since the episode of Blond Girl..."

Geekwif said...
"Once upon a time..."? ;-)
You are still the same Blond Girl you always were; you're just seeing life from a different perspective now. I look forward to reading more about the view from your new vantage point. Whatever you choose to focus on, I'm sure it will be wonderful.

Star said...
Start now. And write for yourself. Not anyone else.

JaneB said...
If you need a question, what about telling us what are the good things about your new situation, what's improved or changed in a way that you like just as much as you like the way it was before?

Baby, I need to tell you something....

2008-04-13T18:27:00.000-05:00

If you are a Veggie-Tales fan, then you know the next line: "I ain't got a belly button. Belly button no, no, no... No belly button." If you're not into Veggie-Tales, then you think I am merely quoting a child's song.

Here's the thing: It's not just a song. It's reality. I no longer have a belly button - a fact that I am still trying to come to terms with that. You see, when I had my fourth hernia repair on March 11, the doctor did a relatively new procedure called a "component separation" that is designed to remove the mid-line tendon from the abdomen (because
it just keeps shredding over and over). In my case, however, I already had gore-tex mesh over a previous hernia repair. During the last surgery, I also had abdominal reconstruction to remove all the skin left over from my weight loss. As part of the operation, the surgeon moved and tightened my belly button. I began calling it my "$25,000 belly button."

This time, I had a hernia above and below the umbilicus. With the removal of the mesh and the herniation, the surgeon couldn't save the belly button and sewed up over it. He explained that if he had left it there, it would have died from reduced blood supply. Just call me Eve. Both my mom and my M-I-L have said that I should just have a new one tattooed on. I've thought it might be funny to have it pierced. I'll probably just leave it there. If you had asked me when I was younger what my last expectation of my life would be, I wouldn't have even said, "to end my life without a belly button." The thought was pretty much inconceivable to me. And though a belly button isn't really necessary to life and happiness, I still wish I had one. Can't tell you why - just wish I did.

And that's my song.

Here are some comments from this post:
kenju said...
You know what? There are worse things to be without!! I know what you mean, though. I am missing about 1/4 of my left big toe - and I'd really like to have it back.

Thumper said...
I would totally got for the tattoo...

Carola... said...
who needs belly buttons anyway. I mean seriously - if your a guy they a generally hairy and collector or mass creator of belly lint. If your a girl and your prone to be sweaty - its a watering hole for your belly, and if not, its just another void to clean on the random occasion to stop it 'developing a smell'. And - if you don't bare your midriff, its not going to become a tourist attraction. And if you do - you could [like Thumper said] get it tattoed back on - but in a different place - and pierced in the place it would've been had it still been there. Now that would make me stop and want to ask questions! I could write other random things for you to do or say or think about to distract the attention your lack of belly button has brought upon you as i'm sure I would probably also miss mine too if it were gone [almost lost mine due to a Hernia operation too! Coincidence much? Mine now makes a smile underneath where my button is... hahah!].
I hope that you find something else to put your finger in - or other.
Dropped by to say hi [as your on my list of regular reading that I sadly rarely get read! What is this 'Life'! Bah! :)]

David said...
BB transplant?
if/ when I die i am an organ donor: My heart, liver, kidneys whatever they can recycle. why don't I add belly button to the list and you can have mine?
hee hee
God Bless you

That Rare Day...

2008-04-12T00:10:00.000-05:00

A really nice, unexpected thing happened today.

I had lunch with my husband.

A long, unfettered lunch where we laughed and enjoyed pizza, salad and each other's company.

I'm sure this sounds like no thing, but you must understand that in the course of our "normal" lives, this just doesn't happen hardly ever. Champs is a route sales driver and leaves the house around 4:30 a.m. every day, then drives 45 minutes to Bloomington/Normal to complete his route. Then he heads back to Champaign to unload the product he's picked up and reload his van for the next day. Lunch is always on the road and the stopping part of it lasts only long enough to drag out his wallet and pay for it. I, on the other hand, am normally on the phone from 7:00 a.m. to 3:30 each day with a scant half-hour for lunch around 10:45 in the morning. If we go to lunch on the weekend, it is a family affair sandwiched in between errands. You can see that our schedules are more conducive to the occasional phone call rather than lunch.

Today, however, two things were different. First, I am on medical leave. I didn't have to be on the phone nor did I have any appointments to go to, and surprisingly I wasn't filled with the pressing need to frantically clean everything in sight (tomorrow is Saturday, after all). Champs, on the other hand, had made good time and was heading back to our town around 11:45 in the morning. The truck that brings each day's product to load was running late, so Champs decided to take a rare break and stop for a lunch that lasted longer than 5 minutes.

We decided to meet at our favorite local pizza parlor for this unexpected treat. We talked about soccer, coaching, Sweet Girl, customers and who knows what else. To be honest, I barely remember what we talked about and none of it was all that important. What was important is that we ate, talked, laughed and... connected. We sat for more than an hour. No fancy clothes, no high-priced bill, no after-dinner drink and no baby sitter bill, but I have to say that it was a rare day...

And one of the best dates I've been on in ages.

13 Things About Blond Girl Lately

2008-04-10T23:20:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I've been away for awhile. So, here's 13 things to catch you up on all things blond...

1. I surprised myself by really falling for my car. I really wanted to buy an import, but financially, we chose to go with a 2007 Chevrolet Malibu executive lease return. It had about 7000 miles on it when we got it and we've put about 1000 on it since then. Enough for me to find out that while you don't need a V6 engine or bells and whistles such as steering wheel mounted stereo controls or a moon roof, they sure do make the trip fun. Oh yeah, I like my car.

2. On March 10, I had two appointments to prep for surgery the next day. I found out that the anemia I have ignored for the last 5 years had finally gotten bad. So bad that the surgeon refused to operate the next day unless I agreed to spend the night in the hospital getting two blood transfusions. Well, after everything I had done to prep for the operation and medical leave authorization, I wasn't about to miss my surgery. I left the emergency room at 3:30 a.m. and reported to the surgery center at 7:30 a.m. After all that, they sent me to a hematologist to get to the bottom of the anemia. Well, here's something I didn't know: if you've had a gastric bypass like mine, the portion of your body that absorbs iron is gone. All the doctors who had told me to take iron weren't helping at all. So, a week after surgery, I went in for another all day IV infusion, this time of iron instead of blood. Not exactly fun, but this will replenish my body's iron stores for 12-18 months before I need another treatment. I can already tell that I'm beginning to make more red blood cells. I have more energy and I'm not as cold as I have been for the last two years. And... I've stopped chewing on ice. So, that's all good. Nice to leave anemia behind.

3. And that leaves the surgery I mentioned. On March 11 I had my fourth (yes, fourth) ventral hernia repair. I think this one may be a (hopefully) permanent repair. The long explanation would take too long and be too boring to give, but basically, the plastic surgeon removed the mid-line tendon from my abdomen, joining the muscle bodies together. You might say that, instead of a six pack, I now have a three pack!

4. So, due to the surgery, I've been on medical leave and I will be until April 21. The funny thing about medical leave is, you think you'll do all this cool stuff. The reality is, it's medical leave. You pretty much commune with your sofa. That's about it. Wow, I forgot how comfortable this throw pillow and blanket are....

5. Which, of course, means that I've seen more TV than a person should. I really hate network daytime TV, so that means that I have seen just about every design show ever made by HGTV - and I can pretty much quote all the commercials word for word, ad nauseam. I think I'm glad I'm going back to work soon.

6. Not that I haven't gotten anything done. I have done our taxes and dropped them in the mail. It is interesting earning money in one state and living in another, but I got it all figured out. All hail Turbo-tax. Huzzah (pbbblllt).

7. It's about time, I guess. I'm 42 so I finally signed up for the Big Boob Squeeze. The TaTa Tango. Yes, I went in last week for my ma-ma-mammograb! In spite of my jocular attitude, I do feel strongly that it is an important test for all women to take. My mother-in-law, GranDee, was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, making the test all that more relevant. It wasn't all that bad, really. For all the talk you hear about how much the squeezing hurts, that's not that bad. The part that hurt was the pressure of the machine against my sternum - and it didn't last that long. I got my "happy letter" today; I'm good for another year and I can focus on helping GranDee with her fight. I'll be back at Boobie-central next year for another test and every year after that. Yes, it's that important.

8. Tomorrow I'm taking my kitten, Jack, in for a very overdue neuter appointment. In fact, the way he's been acting lately, I don't think we can call him a kitten any longer. I should have had him neutered when he was around six months old, but I didn't have the money at that time. Now he follows Gus around, smelling his butt and hoping that he has somehow miraculously transformed from a tom into a queen since the last time he checked. It has, understandably, ticked off Gus to the breaking point. It will be nice to have them stop fighting, though I'm sure it will take awhile for the testosterone to leave Jack's body.

8. Speaking of testosterone leaving the cat's body, have you ever tried to explain neutering to a 7 year-old girl? It's a trip that goes something like this: "what's neuter, Mom?" "Well, honey, Jack's body has some glands in it that cause him to fight with Gus and defend his territory like he does. So, the doctor will make Jack go to sleep for a little while and take those glands out so that he behaves better. It is called neutering the cat." "Oh. OK. Where are the glands?" "See the little puffballs under his tail? Right there." "OOoooohhhhh. Ug!"
End of conversation.

9. I am desperate to get my hair cut. Instead, I'm having the cat's, um, puffballs cut. I can only afford one or the other right now. Oh well, I may look shaggy, but I am sure my carpets and Gus will thank me for my sacrifice.

10. I think my 7 year-old daughter has been hanging around the boys in her class too much. Why, you ask? Because she's been taking much joy in passing gas lately - and then demurely, delicately saying "excuse me!" all the time she has a gleam in her eye. She's having a hard time understanding that excusing herself is negated when she breaks wind on purpose. Tonight when she did it and excused herself I said, "I guess so, Miss Tootie Brain!" - and that's how Sweet Girl has come up with another nickname.

11. Has anyone else watched "Step it Up and Dance"? I like the show, but I cannot wait until Miguel goes home... he's just too full of himself!

12. Why are the last two items for the Thursday Thirteen the hardest to write? Auugh! I could write about my on-going identity crisis, but I've alluded to it for months and managed not to write about it, so why break a streak now?

13. Oh! I saved the best piece of news for last. When I met Champs, he was a soccer coach for the park district here in town, which he loved. He was with the same team for 6 or 7 seasons and he really loved coaching. He gave it up to move to Minneapolis and marry me. Once we started working and making a family, there just wasn't time for him to coach again. When we moved here, we had to focus on finding jobs and getting ourselves situated here. Now that things are more settled with jobs and finances, Champs has decided to return to coaching. The season has started, so it was too late for him to start as a head coach. He is assistant coaching a team, but will bid for head coach next season. It is so wonderful to see him back in the thick of what he loves. I am happy for him and proud of him and that's why this is my best update.

Blond Girl out. Night night!

And the comment from this post:
kenju said...
I am sorry that you had to have more surgery, BG, and glad to know you had a mammogram. Mine is scheduled for this Wed. Good for Champs for getting back into coaching!

Jack Finds His Voice

2008-02-12T22:14:00.000-06:00

We have a new cat in our family, named Jack. He was born on Mother's day and I got him in August when he was a tiny ball of fluff, thinking that he would make a great companion for our 1.5 year-old cat, Gus. Jack was a very quiet little guy. When I was staying with my mom, I hardly ever heard him meow. The day I took him to the vet for his vaccinations and travel papers, he didn't make a peep.

When we got home from the vet, his back was sticky with lidocaine gel they used to numb his skin to implant his microchip so I decided to give him a bath. It turned out to be the only time he ever got loud. I have NEVER heard a cat scream like that! It was obvious he was saying that he did not like water. I gave him his bath in the apartment building's laundry room. My mom could hear it in her apartment. A neighbor came to see what the ruckus was. He was LOUD. After the bath, he went back to silence. In fact, the day we came home, he meowed once when we got in the car and didn't make another sound through the airport, the plane and the shuttle ride.

And then we got home.

And Jack met Gus.

And Jack found his voice.

Right away when we got home, I put Jack, still in his carrier, on my bed. I thought I had safely closed the door, but Champs followed me into the room and, without realizing what was at stake, left the door open. I didn't realize until it was too late. Gus came into our room, jumped up onto the bed and walked directly to the cat carrier. Remember the scream I described when I bathed Jack? Yeah, he did that. Terrifyingly. Loudly. Repeatedly. Pressed to translate, I think it meant something along the lines of "hey, no one told me there was going to be a huge cat here! I'm stuck in a bag! I can't defend myself! Get rid of it!"

We quickly separated the cats and got Jack calmed down. That night we kept Jack in our room and Gus had the run of the entire house. You would have thought they would have wanted to stay apart, but instead they spent the night just 8 inches apart with only our door between them. And they discussed the situation. Loudly. In detail. All. Night. Long. Both cats meowed and hissed until I was ready to give them away. Determined not to go through another night like that, we introduced them the next day.

The next night, both cats were banned from our room and had the run of the house. Didn't help. They went from hissing and yelling at each other through the door to doing it outside our door. Loudly.

Now, almost a month after we came home, Jack and Gus have made friends. Things have calmed down. And Jack, amazingly enough, is still talking.

My formerly quiet kitten has turned into a lippy teen. Believe it or not, I know what he is saying most of the time. Here is a short list of Jack speak:

* A quiet "mmmm. mmmm. mmmm." means "here I am Mommy."
* A quiet "mmmm? mmmm? mmmm?" means "will you pretty please scratch my tummy?"
* A medium "meeeeraow?" means "where are you Gus?"
* A loud "Meeraow!" means "please make Sweet Girl put me down!"
* A really loud "Mawl! MawL!" means "I'm gonna take you down, Gus!"

And, oh yeah: An ear-splitting scream still means "I TOLD YOU ONCE I DON'T LIKE BATHS!"

Comments on this post:
Thumper said...
At least they made friends. My two tolerate each other, but there's no love lost between them. Buddah recently realized he's as big as Max, so the dominance struggles have begun, and I get to hear alllllll about it from Max, who has no problem with complaining.
They really are like teenagers...

kenju said...
Too funny! I have one cat who never made a sound until this year. Somehow I think he didn't know he could until recently...LOL
Now he meows at every turn. The other one doesn't meow, but he says "huh"...although it sounds more like "eerk" every morning when I wake up.

20 Compulsive Days

2008-02-06T23:40:00.000-06:00

Well folks, I am home. In fact, tomorrow it will be three weeks since I stepped off the plane and I can barely believe how much I've done - and have yet to do - since getting back. I've been asked for one last note to put a cap on my time away and tie up the loose ends. Who am I to decline? I wanted to write a pithy, cute accounting of all that has happened since I got home, but I have failed so far. It took me 12 days to finally come up for air long enough to start an e-mail and another 8 days to give up my adorable metaphorical approach and just write the darn thing, already. "Why?" you ask. Because my inner control freak has gotten in the way. For those of you who are "Friends" fans, just know that Champs likes to call me Monica.

After 6 months of staying with my mom, who graciously let me stay and even put up with some of my organizing and homemaking activities, it is nice to be back where I can control how neat and clean everything is. When I got home, one of the first things I said to Champs was not to take it personally if he saw me going nuts cleaning the house; this didn't mean that I thought he did a poor job of caring for things while I was gone; it meant that all I could see was what I hadn't done for six months. Thankfully, he understands my own personal compulsive-organizational needs, so just nodded and got out of the way. I think I might have heard him say "yes, Monica" under his breath as he walked away. So far I've torn apart our family room, the kitchen, the linen closet, the DVD cabinet and the food storage. And I'm just getting started. This last weekend alone I had a list of 10 projects to complete. Yes, I know, I'm sick.

However, I haven't only organized. I have spent untold hours just huddling in with my hubby and my daughter. We've cooked, ate, played, talked, tickled, sang and just sat quietly with each other. I'm finally getting to the point of wanting to get out and around town. Up until now, I've just been happy to be home.

I do have some highlights to share with you all.

Coming home on January 17, my motto was "I am woman, hear me whimper". My brother picked up Sweet Girl and me at Grandma's and took us to the airport. It was Robert Benchley who said "In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children." I believe I have added a third class – with a child and a cat and a couple of items. You see, my brother picked up not just us; but also our rolling suitcase, rolling duffel bag, two Rubbermaid totes, rolling carry-on case, booster seat, Sweet Girl's backpack and the cat carrier. All I can say there is, Thank God for curbside check-in! Perhaps I should have listened to the advice of Susan Heller who said "When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money." OK, yeah, but she probably wasn't bringing home six months worth of stuff, either!

Our kitten, Jack, traveled like a pro, hardly meowing once all day (in stark contrast to Gus, who meowed his protests all the way to IL in 2006, even though he was drugged for the trip), and Sweet Girl was a gem all day. Why travel with a cat? Well, according to Ernest Hemingway, "One cat just leads to another." I got Jack in Minneapolis and I couldn’t very well leave him behind! When we got to Chicago, I over-loaded a "Smarte Carte" with our luggage and negotiated my way through the airport, Sweet Girl trailing along. I must admit that I got a number of raised eyebrows as I pushed the carte from baggage claim to the loading zone, all the while trying to keep everything stacked, the cat from tumbling and Sweet Girl from introducing herself – and the cat – to all the other travelers in the place. I got us to the Lex Express shuttle for the two-part trip to Champaign in time and collapsed for the three-hour trip. Champs picked us up around 5:30 and we were finally, blessedly home. Even though everything went off without a hitch, I was still exhausted from the responsibility of getting our stuff and the three of us home safely.

One funny moment: Before I left Minneapolis, I bought a soft-sided leather cat carrier for Jack – you can see it on the right at the top of the Smarte Carte pile in the picture. When Champs picked us up at the bus terminal, it was horribly cold and we'd been outside waiting for almost 10 minutes. He was in a hurry to get everything loaded and get us out of the cold. He packed up the car as quickly as possible - perhaps a mite too quickly, since he thought the bag he tossed into the trunk was a small duffel bag, until I said, "Honey, that's the cat!” Poor Jack had landed on his side - and still didn't complain. Champs had expected the same type of plastic carrier cage we used for Gus when we moved to IL, and since Jack was so silent, he didn't recognize it for what it was. All's well that ends well, though, and he quickly moved Jack into the warmth of the car.

Oh, and what car, you ask? Why, my sister-in-law Princsiss' car. You may remember that our Mazda Protege was totaled on December 23. Although Champs has a truck, it will only hold two passengers, which means that if the family wants to go somewhere in it, I will have to ride in the back. At least there is a topper. So far, we haven't had to settle for that - but I also haven't left the house hardly at all since we gave Princsiss' car back to her a week and a half ago. We decided to wait until I got home to choose a car, so my first 10 days at least were spent just trying to decide on a car to buy. Almost every night my first week home we went out test-driving cars. We considered the Mazda 3, Toyota Camry, Subaru Impreza and Nissan Altima. The 3 and Camry, even used, were just too far out of our budget. The Subaru, while a really nice driving car, was just too small for Champs to even think of driving comfortably. We really liked the Altima and seriously considered buying a new base model, which would have put us at the highest end of our budget. In the end, though, we have decided to buy a 2007 Malibu executive lease return from my brother-in-law Motor's father-in-law, Terry. It is a nice car with a lot of warranty left on it and a good price, while having the benefit of being just one year old. Just yesterday we got a call from Terry letting us know he has found the right car for us – in Ohio. It has just 6573 miles on it and a V6 engine. I expect that I’ll soon be experiencing carsickness – that feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. Even so, I can’t wait to get our car - we want to be able to go out as a family!

Oh, here's a fun update: my husband is a stinker! Before I came home, he told me "I have a couple of small surprises for you - nothing big". When I got home, he showed me how he had changed our bed over to warm flannel sheets with my favorite electric blanket. He also showed me how he'd gotten the guest room prepped for me to begin working from home. He gave me a beautiful flower arrangement and planned a date night for Saturday. From my quiet, unassuming husband, this was all very wonderful and exactly what I expected. He took Sweet Girl to Grandma's for a sleepover and then took me to the Texas Roadhouse for dinner. After dinner, we went home for what I thought was going to be a quiet evening with each other - our first chance to connect in months. And it was - a couple of hours later! When we walked into our dark family room, the lights suddenly went on and I was greeted with a chorus of "SURPRISE!" from my IL family. I lost it! I just screamed so loudly and threw my hands up - I knocked the take-home container out of Champs’ hands. It must have taken me at least two or three minutes to be able to talk... I gapped like a fish out of water while the family just laughed and laughed at me. Champs was sooo smug and proud of himself. He totally got me! Everyone had made a "welcome home" sign and brought food. Champs showed me his special gift to me - a sign for my office declaring my name and NASD certifications. It is really nice and I will display it with pride in my office when it is finished. All in all, the party was fun and a roaring success.

The office? No, it's not finished. That's the other thing I've been doing - researching office furniture options. When my company pays my furniture stipend, I need to get the office set up according to company specifications. Champs’ been getting into this as much as I have - perhaps even more - and we've pretty much made our choices. Now we're just waiting for the money. In the meantime, I'm working in a bit of a makeshift office, but it's going really well. I love being home for Sweet Girl in the morning and when she gets home from school. I have to admit that I really miss my co-workers, but the phones keep me busy and the days fly by. Since I am home all day, I am considering selling Longaberger baskets as an evening business to get me out of the house a few nights a month. I haven't made a decision yet - I need a car first!

The only other thing to highlight is that I am finally beginning to sleep. You see, the first week I was home, I didn’t get much sleep. Neither did Champs. You see, although we knew that Gus and Jack would be fast friends, we needed to convince them. Two adult male cats meeting for the first time is a sight to behold – and hearing them fight about who gets what territory can be tiring. I’m glad they’ve gotten it worked out now. I must agree with Mark Twain’s observation: "Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use."

So, was it worth six months away? Yeah, it was. It was so hard being away. There were days that I thought I would never get home and days when it seemed like our family would remain in limbo forever. But time has a comforting way of marching on through the good and the bad, bringing with it fulfillment and new challenges. I am home and so grateful to God for all that we have been given. In all, though, I agree with Lin Yutang, who said, "No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow."

Even if my own need to organize everything is keeping me busy... lol

Comments on this post:
Geekwif said...
Yay! You're home! You didn't tell me about the party when we IM'd the other night. Good job, Champs!

kenju said...
I know you are very glad to be home and Champs is very glad to have you and Sweet Girl! When you get tired or organizing your home, please come and do mine! Please?

A Wonderful Decade

2008-01-31T19:38:00.000-06:00

Ten years ago today was Saturday. I was bored. I didn't have a date and nothing was going on. I was BORED. The internet was a new diversion for me and I was on Excite.com in the chat room, just passing time. I saw an avatar of a foot resting on a soccer ball. Bored but mildly interested, I checked out the profile. It turned out to be a 25 year-old soccer coach who had a philosophy of life quote similar to my own. Now still bored but intrigued, I clicked on the avatar and asked "Soccr101" about his devotion to the game - and started a conversation that lasted on-line for two hours, then one the phone for the next seven hours... and in life for the next ten years.

Yes, I met my Champs 10 years ago today. And every minute since then has been an adventure - a wonderful decade of happiness.

I love you, Champs!

Here are some comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
Awwww. You made me almost a little bit teary. :) Happy 10 years! You gonna go out and celebrate?

kenju said...
Happy Anniversary, BG!

HolyMama! said...
ohhh! how sweet!

Blond Girl Update 27:3 Final

2008-01-15T19:37:00.000-06:00

Happy Tuesday!

Well everyone, this is it. 27.3 weeks since I left home, I am posting my last Blond Girl Update. What started as a 4.5 month journey last July (when it was HOT! Remember heat?!?!) will come to an end this Thursday when Sweet Girl and I fly home back to Champs. I will set up my office and my remote system on Friday and then start working from home on Tuesday, January 22. While we've been here, Sweet Girl has been doing her school studies with the help of her Grandma and her aunt - both of whom have been irreplaceable to me these last few months.

For six months now, I've enjoyed the company of my family and I've also had the chance to spend so much quality time with my good friends here in Minnesota. Sweet Girl has enjoyed her time with friends, too - especially her best friend, Snow White. All those visits were precious to me - and my thanks go out to everyone here who made my time away from home bearable and even fun. But I'm sure you will all understand when I say (in the words of the genie in "Alladin") "Iiiiii'mmmmm Ouuuttta here!". I will miss my family and friends here, but I am so glad to be going home! Once there, I will have to work hard to show my appreciation for our family there who so willingly helped Champs with his role as "single daddy" from August through January. Honestly, where would we be without grandmas and aunts? I am floored by every one's helpfulness and investment on our part to make my training successful and help me get back home to start my job.

I can't begin to tell you how excited I am. The anticipation of being so close to the fruition of our goal is nearly indescribable. What? You want me to try? Naw... no, really? OK. Twist my arm. Here goes:

Remember that feeling when you were a kid and your parents told you that if you helped them with the yard work, you would get a treat later on? So you worked in the sun all day - mowing the lawn, hauling brush away, watering flowers, dodging bees... Finally, when the sun had past its zenith, you and the family crammed into the car to head to the local Diary Queen. Remember that feeling as you watched the cone being dipped into the crunchy chocolate coating, knowing what was to come, itching to get your teeth into all that creamy goodness, but still having to wait patiently while everyone was served?

Yeah, like that.

Remember Christmas Eve, when you knew you had worked for months to be on Santa's "nice" list (you'd even refrained from hitting your brother, who desperately deserved it), all in hopes of getting that one special present? Remember how you were torn between staying awake so you could hopefully catch a glimpse of that red suit, but also wanting to go to sleep quickly so the morning would come even sooner so you could run to the tree to see what treasures awaited you?

Yeah, like that.

Remember when you fell in love and every moment you willed the phone to ring, the doorbell to chime or your mailbox to offer up some sentiment from your special someone? Remember the feeling of knowing that anyone else looking at your beloved would see just a person, but you saw your very heart? And waiting for the next time to see them was like shallow breathing and all you wanted to do was take a deep, deep breath? Remember thinking the waiting would kill you but the reunion was so sweet that threatened to take you completely apart?

Oh yeah, just like that.

I expect that, in addition to a change in our financial picture and our schedules, Champs and I will find that our relationship has changed and deepened. Over the last few months, we've had to return to our dating days of long talks and IMing on the computer. Nothing new to us, since we started out as a long distance couple. We've had to distill our plans, parenting and emotions into the purest form to make sure that nothing (well not much, anyway) got overlooked. We have both felt the ache of missing each other and missing our daughter. There were days when it hurt so badly that I would just sit in my chair silently, tears rolling down my face as I contemplated how empty I felt. I can only guess that Champs has felt the same way too, at times. I know Sweet Girl has - and I am so happy that she will finally have both Mommy and Daddy at home at the same time.

Yeah, I thought this wouldn't be so long when I started out, but it will be a good thing for our family. We've learned a lot and the reward will be great. Sweet Girl and I have had a chance to look at the life of Jesus in light of our season. He left Heaven - that beautiful place - to walk among men and be persecuted, scorned and crucified. But through it all, he looked forward to what awaited Him - the reward of knowing all those He would save, the undeniable triumph of returning from the grave to laugh at a stunned Satan who had failed after all. We talked about how, if He could endure all that for such a great reward, we could certainly make it through our small trial to get our family reward. It's a lofty concept for a seven-year old to grasp, but I think she got it - and we will talk about it more in the future, I am sure.

For now, though, our biggest challenge is getting home. With the zoom-zoom car totaled and now dubbed "the boom boom car" (until it is crushed into a little cube), Sweet Girl and I will be flying home - along with one large rolling suitcase, two Rubbermaid totes, one rolling duffel bag, one booster seat, one backpack, one rolling carry-on and one cat carrier. I already have many one dollar bills and coins in my wallet for the "smarte carte" we'll be renting at either end of the trip. We will travel first by plane to Chicago, and then by shuttle (with a layover) for the three-hour trip to Champaign; and I get to negotiate all of it. I am woman, hear me whimper! I am hopeful that a foot massage will await me at the end of our journey. I already know that many hugs and kisses will be waiting. I am looking forward to hearing Sweet Girl's cry of "DADDY!!!!" at the shuttle terminal.

Yes, absence does make the heart grow fonder.
Mine is fond enough. Take me home.

Blond Girl out.

Blond Girl Update 24.3

2007-12-25T22:47:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas!

It's time for another quick Blond Girl Update; 24.3 weeks in to this journey I've been on. We'll call this one "my day in pictures" and focus on Sunday. Why? Because I would have written this on Sunday evening, but I've been so busy since then that I haven't had the chance.

First, I will backtrack to say that I drove home on Thursday. The new tires performed flawlessly and I made terrific time, arriving home in the early afternoon. I will admit that I was was worried about leaving so early in the morning (4:30 a.m.), and the possibility of hitting a deer. My "discern-o-meter" was on high and I prayed a bunch - and was grateful to get home with no car or deer issues.

On Friday and Saturday, we worked on last minute Christmas preparation, including decorating the tree, which Sweet Girl refused to do even one minute before I arrived. After all that, we set our sights on a family day for Sunday.

Our first order of business was to head to the mall so that Sweet Girl could see Santa. She was so excited to see him so that she could let him know that she had been a good girl and to ask for those special presents she was dreaming of. Of course, she had to dress in her holiday best for the big guy:

After Santa, we all headed over to Sears to get a long-needed family picture taken. Long overdue as in, the last time we had a picture taken, Sweet Girl was two and I weighed 100 pounds more than I do now. We went through the whole photo shoot, only to realize that I left the discount coupon at home and they didn't have one there to honor. Not willing to pay too much for our sheets, we only bought one composite, which they printed up there, and ordered two sheets from the lab - intending to order more later. Now, I rarely show off our family on my blog, but here is a picture I took of our composite:

Turns out it was a good thing we hadn't spent too much on our photos... When we got home, Champs needed to go to the hardware store to pick up a piece of tubing to fix our faucet, so off he went while Sweet Girl and I picked up the house. Champs wasn't gone 15 minutes when the phone rang; when I said "Hi Honey!", he responded, in the most tired voice, "I've had an accident. The car is totaled." I have to admit that I was in shock. I had just celebrated the 10th birthday of my car. I'd just paid $430.00 for new tires. I had just driven 550 miles to get home for Christmas. Champs had just left the house. This had to be a joke, right? Wrong. I wasn't surprised, actually. Even though I'd arrived safely home, my "discern-o-meter" hadn't calmed down yet and somewhere in the back of me, I was still waiting for something to happen, and praying for the safety of my family. I'm glad I had been. As Champs explained, he was driving along, looking for the store he wanted, when the light turned red. He didn't realize it in time and hit the car ahead of him, which was coming to a stop. That car hit the van in front of it. He wasn't going that fast, approximately 20-30 mph, but as you can see, using the car ahead of you, instead of your brakes, to stop your car can do a good bit of damage:

This, ladies and gentleman, is what we used to lovingly call the Zoom-zoom car. Her new name is now the Boom-boom car. I picked Champs up at the scene of the accident (it was night - the picture you just saw was taken on Monday morning) and took him to the hospital, where he was checked out. He had a mild neck strain and hurt his wrist where the airbag hit it, but other than that, he was fine. Sore, but fine. The doctor gave him a note to miss a day of work to recover and we spent a lot of time on Monday dealing with the insurance company, working out the details. The insurance inspector will see it sometime this week and until then we won't know for certain how they'll handle it. We're pretty sure it will be a total loss; it would cost them much more to fix it than it is worth now. Like Champs said, the airbags alone are worth more than the blue book on the car.

I'll miss my car; as I told Champs, I guess it is appropriate for a married couple. I drive the car it's first mile, and he drove it the last. It is sad, but the last few days underscore what is truly important. A car is a hunk of metal and plastic; my husband and my daughter are my very breath. Somehow, we'll get another car. Somehow, I'll get back to Minnesota next Sunday with Sweet Girl - by plane, train or automobile - to finish up my assignment at the home office and then return home on January 17th. We'll figure it out - we always do. But when I was gathered around the Christmas tree this morning, watching my husband and my daughter open their gifts, I was filled with gratitude to God for sparing my husband, for keeping my daughter out of the car when it was hit, for getting me home safely. There will be a parade of cars in my life - some even as special as my Zoom-zoom car was to me, but there will only be one Champs and one Sweet Girl.

And they were my best Christmas present this year.

Here's the comment from this post:
Star said...
Merry Christmas. The pictures are lovely. Sweet Girl has the prettiest shiny hair! And you don't look old enough to be her Mom! You are right about the car. It's loss is inconvenient , but unimportant. It will all work out.

Blond Girl Update 23.4

2007-12-19T21:24:00.000-06:00

Hello folks!

Time for another Blond Girl update and this one is full of fun news!

I AM GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! We have new tires on the zoom-zoom car, so I am ready to go. I am driving home tomorrow morning, leaving around 4:30 in the morning or so. I'll be home until 12/30, when I have to head back to Minneapolis. While I am there, however, I intend to enjoy every possible moment I can with my hubby and my girl. I can't begin to tell you how much I've missed them. I'm not going to enjoy coming home, but it's not too bad; this time I know how long I am going for and when I am going home.

When I head back, Sweet Girl will be coming with me. We've taken Sweet Girl out of school for those short weeks - her teacher is going to pull her schoolwork together and then my sister-in-law, Liz, who runs a daycare, will help me with the homeschooling. I can't wait to see her and spend time with her and I know that while Champs wants us home permanently, he's looking forward to a break from the single dad routine he's been living for the last 4 months.

Sweet Girl and I will head back to IL permanently on Thursday, January 17th and I'll start working from home as soon as my system is installed. I cannot wait!

In the meantime, though, I wish all of you a very merry Christmas. As for me, I can't wait to see all my IL friends and family, decorate the tree, serve Christmas dinner... it's been a long 5 1/2 months! Just think... pretty soon the Blond Girl updates will be all done - and life will be back to normal! Who knows? Maybe my blog will even become a regular activity for me again. For now, though, Merry Christmas, Glory to God in the highest and...

Blond Girl out

Blond Girl Update 22.00

2007-12-09T00:05:00.000-06:00

Yes folks, I came to Minnesota 22 weeks ago today - and it is time for another Blond Girl update.

The most important news comes first: I am going home for Christmas! I will be heading home on December 20th or 21st and I cannot wait. Talk about counting the days! When I get home, I will be very busy with decorating, shopping and cooking for Christmas. One thing I’ve learned here is how to make a killer cinnamon challah bread pudding with brandy butter. I’ll be making it for our family’s Christmas Eve celebration and I hope everyone likes it. As for decorating, that will definitely be first on my list because our Sweet Girl has asked to hold off Christmas decorating until I come home. The other day we were talking on the phone and she related this story: “Mom, we were driving and I saw the most beautiful Christmas lights! The house was all lit up and it was so pretty, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it until we drove past the house and then I looked at it in the mirror until I couldn’t see it anymore. It was so beautiful and I can’t wait until we decorate!” I explained that she and daddy would be decorating before I came home. “No!” she objected, “I want us to decorate as a family. This is the first year I’ve decorated and I want to put the ornaments on the tree and I want Daddy to hold me up so I can put the angel on top of the tree.” Now I ask you, how can you deny a request like that? I sure can’t. When I get home, I'll drop my bags on the floor, hug the two of them like crazy and start digging the angel out of the Christmas boxes!

Now on to news about going home to work: As it stands, the jury is out on two possibilities. Either I will be coming back to Minneapolis on December 26th for a 3-4 more weeks or I will go home for Christmas and be able to stay at home and start working virtual then. It all hinges on questions of technology. My training is complete; at this point it’s all project management and working out the details. Our goal is for me to go home and stay home, but nothing is known or settled yet - so much so that I haven't been able to make travel plans yet, since I don't know if I am taking my car home or flying home and leaving the car here for my final stint here in Minneapolis.

In other BG news... Well, I don't think there really is any other BG news! Other than a mild snowstorm (6-8 inches) last Saturday and another 5 inches on Monday, nothing of note has occurred. I work, eat, sleep, repeat. In other words, I'm marking time until December 20. I am trying to schedule as many fun things with Minneapolis friends as possible and to get some Christmas shopping done before I go home.

I wish I had more exciting news to share, but I don't. You might think this is silly, but what I do have is a prayer request, if you are one who prays. As I said earlier, I want to go home. Sweet Girl is learning to knit and has joined a knitting club - and I've never even seen the needles in her hands. Champs has a new job and I'm not there to kiss him goodbye or cook dinner for him when he comes home. When I came here, we thought it would be for 16-18 weeks. I am now heading toward 22 weeks and looking at the possibility of a total of 24 weeks if I go home permanently on December 20, and a total of 28 to 29 weeks if I can't go home until mid-January. This much time away is just hard on our family. I'm not saying this to whine, but just to ask that you remember our family in prayer and ask for favor and a downright miracle with the technology that needs to fall into place.

Some comments from this post:
colleen said...
Time spent with family is always precious. It's going to be COLD up there, I bet. Where Michele lives is even colder.

kenju said...
I think it is very sweet that your girl wants to wait on the decorating until you get there - but it puts additional pressure on you. That pudding sounds wonderful. I will indeed pray for you guys!

Smiler said...
Sounds like you're all going through some challenging times. Which will make the holidays spent together that much more precious. Your cinnamon challah bread pudding sounds out of this world. Yum! Thanks for you thoughtful comments on my blog. Come back anytime!

Dream Hero

2007-12-02T01:53:00.000-06:00

The other morning, I had a dream. Now, I almost never remember my dreams and if I do remember them, it is because I have them just before I wake up. The other morning, I woke up with a rare dream clearly focused in my memory.

For anyone who hasn't read my blog in awhile, it is important to know this: I am currently in Minneapolis for work training to be a brokerage customer service representative. I've been here 5 months and I've seen my husband, Champs, only twice since I left. Soon I will be going home to work virtual for The Big Company. I can't wait to go home.

This was my dream: I was walking in the park I used to play in as a little girl. I was headed toward a clear glass room with a phone in it. I had to go to the room in order to meet up with Champs. I wasn't going to call him on the phone; he was going to be there.

As I walked closer to the room, I noticed tiny little green grasshoppers. I continued to walk and they got thicker and thicker. As I walked toward them, they would fly away in a wave like a glittering curtain. The thousands of insects moved as one, much the same way a flock of birds rise from a tree in flight and swoop off, all in the same direction. Surprisingly, even though I detest insects and I didn't like them flying near me, I was calm and continued to walk toward the glass room in the middle of the park.

As I got closer to the room, the grasshoppers stopped flying away. They weren't green... they turned to red-brown and they were dead. There was a layer 6 or 7 inches deep of the dead bugs. As I walked, my heels came out of my shoes and the dead bugs stuck to me. I couldn't reach the room - the bugs got deeper and harder to walk through. I was beginning to panic and I was near tears.

Just then, Champs strode up behind me, picked me up and said, "kinda gross, huh? Well, I'm here" and then walked me out of the dead grasshoppers, past the flying ones and out of the park. I felt calm and safe again. Just then, my alarm clock went off.

I spent the day wondering what it meant... I know it confirmed that I feel safe with my husband. But he came to me - I didn't go to him, as will happen in real life when I return home. And I never reached the phone. Did it represent my job? Champs took it that it is his job to keep me safe and help me feel safe in situations where I feel trapped. I guess now you know why I call him Champs. He had the nickname before I met him, earned in soccer, but it means so much more than sports to me.

Verrryyy interesting. I must say, though, that I hope I never, ever encounter grasshoppers like that!

Here are some comments from this post:
Jean-Luc Picard said...
I know what you mean; my dreams tend to vanish after a minute.
Michele sent me here.

Sara said...
Thanks for visiting my blog...and I enjoyed this post about your dream...I agree with Champs...I think that is what it means.
Me - I can't ever remember my dreams - but, I do know if they are good ones or nightmares!!!

2:20 PM
Blogger utenzi said...
Michele sent me over to see you, BG. I read your update post below. There's been quite a lot going on in your life since I last visited.
I love finance and had no idea it took so long to train for the brokerage rep position. You have to be quite confident and brave to hold down a position like that at home, without the normal support situation of being in a cubicle farm. I'm impressed with your ambition. I hope you're able to return to home and family very soon!

THE BLUEST BUTTERFLY said...
Michele sent me. I like your blog....unique. I don't usually remember my dreams. The dreams that are premonitions freak me out...even if they are good. My dreams are usually extremely good or extremely bad.

kenju said...
You ought to think about this one often, BG, so you can puzzle it out. What do grasshoppers mean to you?

More Gems From Minnesota's Past

2007-11-26T23:21:00.000-06:00

As I said earlier, I've been enjoying the book "Bring Warm Clothes: Letters and Photos From Minnesota's Past" by Peg Meier. Although the letters and newspaper articles are more than 100 years old, I've been struck by how applicable they are to our modern-day life.

Here are some more gems I've found and my thoughts about them:

The next big election is less than a year away and I have to admit that I am already weary of it. I will pay attention, of course, because I don't want to waste my vote. Apparently elections grew old 120 years ago, too. Check out this article printed in the Minneapolis Tribune on April 3, 1887, during a spring election campaign: “An old Irish gentleman was making a speech last night at a political meeting, and referred to the fact that in his precinct there were 24 Democratic and 17 Republican candidates for alderman. He explained this great number by telling a story of a kind who sought the advice of his prophet on the weather one day when he wished to go hunting. The prophet said it would be a fine day. On the road the king met a farmer riding on a jackass, and the farmer warned the king not to proceed, as it would surely storm. It did storm, and the king called the farmer to learn how he knew of the coming storm, and the farmer replied that his jackass told him. The king then discharged his prophet and put a jackass in his position. “And from that day to this,” said the speaker, “every jackass wants an office’.”

From thoughts of politics, one must naturally move to thoughts of romance. That is, if one looks to Bill Clinton for guidance, I guess. In any case, I got a huge kick out of these excerpts from “The Book of Natures: a Full and Explicit Explanation of the Structure and Use of the Organs of Life and Generation in Man and Woman”, published in New York in 1875 and found in the library of a Cottage Grove man. After reading this, I must say that I am glad I am poor and that my husband values cleanliness as much as I do! “The rich are qualified for marriage before the poor. This is owing to the superiority of their aliment [food]; for very nutritious food, and the constant use of wines, coffee, etc., greatly assists in developing the organs of reproduction; whereas the food generally made use of among the peasantry of most countries – as vegetables, corn, milk, etc. – retards their growth.”

And then: “Too much importance cannot be attached to cleanliness. Men may be careless as to their own personal appearance and may, from the nature of their business, be negligent in their dress, but they dislike to see any disregard in the dress and appearance of their wives. Nothing so depresses a man and makes him dislike and neglect his home as to have a wife who is slovenly in her dress and unclean in her habits. Beauty of face and form will not compensate for these defects, the charm of purity and cleanliness never ends but with life itself. These are matters that do not involve any great labor or expense. The use of the bath, and the simplest fabrics, shaped by your own supple fingers, will be all that is necessary. These attractions will act like a magnet upon your husband. Never fear that there will be any influence strong enough to take him from your side.”

As the Minneapolis Tribune reported on April 3, 1881, the girls apparently practiced cleanliness very well and did not worry that their intended would leave their sides. Far from it - they were showing their affections in a scandalous fashion that I fear I am likely to repeat when I go home for Christmas. Scandalous, I tell you, highly improper! “Engaged Girls. Fashion has decreed a change in his matter. The engaged couples of 1881 are not commanded to hide their endearments under a bushel. They may even kiss in company if they are changes about it. I saw a daughter of one of the wealthiest and most refined of our families touch lips with her husband-to-be before at least a hundred persons in a picture-room of the academy of design the other day. He had been out of town for a week, I was told, and their meeting here way by chance. She greeted him affectionately, but without ado, and put up her mouth in the most self-possessed way imaginable. He was not so cool about it; yet he gave her a smacking salute with a good grace, right in the presences of his future mother-in-law. The girl did not blush nor simper. Such a public kiss would have been scandalous in March 1880; but in 1881 it is fashionable and therefore proper."

Perhaps when I get home, Champs will give me a smacking salute, huh? I hope so - I can assure you that I will neither blush nor simper!

I am planning on one more installment of gems for later this week. I hope you enjoyed these!

Gems from Minnesota's Past

2007-11-19T21:36:00.000-06:00

I've been reading a book called "Bring Warm Clothes: Letters and Photos from Minnesota's Past". It's a collection of letters, newspaper articles and more. I've been finding the glimpse into our past both enlightening and humorous.

Here are just two gems:

Sometime in 2002, Jesse Ventura managed to offend any number of Irish people and St. Paul residents by appearing on Letterman and declaring that the haphazard streets of t. Paul are impossible to navigate because it was originally laid out by drunken Irishmen.

Apparently, this is not a new complaint. On September 30, 1851 (114 years before the day I was born) it was printed in The Minnesota Democrat Weekly, "Never was a city laid out so badly as St. Paul. The plat of the town with its numerous additions looks as if some accident had knocked all the streets into pi. Measures should be taken immediately to straighten and reform them as far as practicable, before it is too late."

And if you've driven in St. Paul at all lately, then you can see 156 years later, the esteemed observer's warning went unheeded.

Another interesting editorial was written in the Minneapolis Chronicle on January 27, 1867. I can only assume in reading it that the author of this piece was not overly impressed by some certain young lady (or ladies) recently arrived in the newly formed state: "In a new country like Minnesota, there is no use for idle, frivolous, lazy dandies, or dressy, fancy ladies, who think it is a disgrace to wash dishes, make their beds, do chamber work or knead bread. People come to a new country to better their condition. They leave all superfluities at home. They do not want drones. They fail to appreciate ladies who think more of senseless fashions than in assisting to lay up a few dimes to purchase frocks for the babies. Drawling words, affectation, fondness of dress, living beyond their means, won't do here. The country is too new."

Now, Champs likes to say that he never found the right gal in Illinois to marry; he didn't find the right gal until he went out-state. Perhaps this writer's assertion explains why he found such a wonderful wife in Minnesota. I am certainly not a "fancy lady" and do not find myself opposed to "assisting to lay up a few dimes to purchase frocks for the baby". Indeed, I would say that I have put more than a few dimes to some very cute frocks indeed!

I'm going to wrap this up for now, but I may yet find some more jewels from Minnesota's past to entertain you....

And a comment from this post:
kenju said...
Thanks for the visit, BG; I would be honored to have some of your recipes.
That article sounds like fun to read. Nothing can make us laugh like stuff from the past that sounds so serious!

Blond Girl Update 18.4

2007-11-16T00:07:00.000-06:00

Hello all.

Yes, this is the Blond Girl - finally - checking in. And yes, you've read the title correctly. I've been in Minneapolis now for 18 weeks and 4 days. I sent my last update at 8.3 weeks, and a lot has happened in the last 10 weeks. Rather than write an overwhelming description, here are a few of the highlights:

* On September 22, I worked all day with Paddy (my brother), Guitar Man (my other brother), and Guitar Man's wife, 2 sons, niece and my niece’s boyfriend to get my mom moved from a second floor apartment to a first floor apartment in different building of the same complex. I had worked for three weeks prior to the move to get all Mom's stuff sorted and boxed and my family made quick (though tiring!) work of getting it all moved across the compound. It was hilarious to see her dining room table turned upside down and strapped to a dolly to form a large moving dolly. I'll tell you what - those guys were pretty ingenious. It took another week and a half after the move to get Mom all settled in, but when she came home from Arizona (she'd been visiting my sister, TechnoGoddess, my niece, and my new baby grand-nephew Adam), she was all settled into her new apartment.

* The move didn't go altogether smoothly, however. The landlord and I did have quite a go-around about who assumes responsibility to pay for repairing brand-new carpet when it is damaged because the painters hired to repaint the apartment left a full can of brown paint on the upper shelf of the closet... without the cover tamped down, and the new tenant spilled said paint, not realizing the can was uncovered. Let's just say that we didn't pay anything for the needed repairs.

* In October I finished my final leg of classroom customer service training. Now I know more than I ever thought I needed to know about trading options. Of course, that doesn't mean that I know how to choose the options to trade, only that I know how to enter the order. Margin, put, call, buy to close, underlying security ... I speak a new language. Now I’m just looking forward to the day when I have enough money to actually invest in the stock market, not just work in it.

* On October 9, Champs and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, we could not be together that day, which was very hard for both of us. Anniversaries past have found us with no extra money, celebrating at home, but we've always been together. This year we spent time together online, talking on the webcam. Not exactly the heights of romance, but it had to do for the day.

* Now, we may not have been able to be together on our anniversary, but we did still get to celebrate. On the 19th of October, Champs and Sweet Girl flew into Minneapolis. It was so good to see them! After a family dinner at Champs' favorite Vietnamese restaurant, Mom took Sweet Girl home for a night with Grandma while Champs and I went off to a local Hilton Garden Inn. We had two nights while Sweet Girl had a night with Grandma and then a fun day and night with our good friends, K & K and their daughter, Snow White. Snow White is Sweet Girl's best friend and is always at the top of the “to visit” list when she's here in Minnesota. Champs and I had a wonderful time at the hotel and then spent the next two days with Sweet Girl, playing games, snuggling and generally just taking it easy. I took them back to the airport on Tuesday. It's never been fun to drop your loved ones off at the airport, but I do wish we could still go into the concourse to stay with them until boarding time and watch their plane leave. As it was, leaving them at the sidewalk check-in was the hardest thing to do. I think the larger part of my heart got on the plane back to Illinois that day and I haven't gotten it back yet.

* A couple of weekends ago, I had the joy of helping my best friend Geekwif, and her husband, The Geek, move into their new home. They've been working toward this goal for years, and started the process of buying their land and building about a year ago. To finally step into the mudroom of their home and see all new appliances, perfectly placed flooring, freshly painted rooms and vast expanses of windows gave me a wonderful sense of fulfillment. Now, if I could feel that way, just being the friend, I can only imagine how exciting it is for Geekwif and The Geek. Their new home is in St. Criox Falls, Wisconsin, just south of the St. Croix River. The land is hilly and beautiful. I've never thought of myself as anything other than a big city gal, but if I were to ever become a willing small-town girl, I would want it to be a beautiful river city like that.

* We had a shift bid at work and I got my first shift choice. On December 3rd, I will start working from 6:00 a.m. to 2:30 each day. It's early, but it will leave me home for when Sweet Girl gets off school each day. I can't wait to be home working this schedule. Of course, starting that early will not be fun here in Minnesota. I'll be leaving for work by 5:20 each day. Ug.

* Of course, I don't have it as hard as Champs! He just started a new job working as a route sales driver for a linen supply company. His job starts at 4:30 or 5:00 everyday. I think he's going to be really happy at the job and I'm really pleased that he got it. That said, the one who has it hardest is Sweet Girl. She goes to Grandma Grandma NeeNee's each night and spends the night there so Grandma can take her to school, then goes to daycare after school until Daddy gets home. They have just a few hours together until it's time for him to take her to Grandma's again. We are so glad that Grandma NeeNee is there for Sweet Girl and we are beyond grateful that she can help us this way. I have to admit, though, that I wish I could read a story to Sweet Girl and she could go to bed in her room each night. I crave the stability of both parents at home for her. I am grateful for Champs and Sweet Girl having strong family support now... but I miss being a part of their lives.

* Speaking of Geekwif, she got me to sign up for NaNoWriMo, the nickname for "National Novel Writing Month", which takes place each November. The idea is to write a 50,000-word novel during the month of November. I wanted to try to write a romance. I have characters, a story, a plot... but not many words. I walk the halls at work writing sentences in my head, but I haven't been writing on the computer. Instead, I've been focusing on learning as much as I can about my job during the day and missing my family the rest of the time. Sounds so darn pitiful, doesn't it?

* Now we're halfway through November. And I am out of events to write about. All I have left is this: I.Want.To.Go.Home. I'm not sure how soon that will happen. It seems like each time I turn around, another person asks me what day I'm going home. I don't have a date yet. I wanted so badly to fly home for Thanksgiving when Champs got his new job, but I have to work the day after Thanksgiving and I was unable to negotiate getting that day off. Now I'm just doing my best to get my metrics and quality measurements up to speed so that I can go home. I'm hopeful that I can go home by the second or third week in December. I would write about the emotions that I stuff each day; the longing to be a mom again, the empty ache of wanting to cook dinner for my family, say goodnight prayers with Sweet Girl and wake up next to Champs in the morning. I would write about it, but it is easier just to hold it in.

So there it is; my latest update. I guess the last paragraph explains best why I haven't written in so long. I can't always stay upbeat and happy; it's easier to keep quiet and do what I need to do to get my training done and get back to my family. This experience has left me with a new appreciation for military families and what they go through during deployment. Both of my brothers-in-law, Motor and Tank, have been deployed overseas and to tell the truth, it is largely their encouragement and example that have helped me to see that I am doing the right thing for my family when it is hard to go on for missing them. I will make it, and I will be a successful employee once I am home. This is a good thing for my family and we are blessed by God's hand in all of it. We are immensely grateful for the help of our friends and family, especially the help we've received taking care of Sweet Girl.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving. I'll write another Blond Girl update when I either have more fun news or I know when I'm going home.

Like Skin on Pudding

2007-10-24T23:39:00.000-05:00

Have you ever made pudding from scratch or from a mix - the cook kind? You know how, as it cools, it forms a skin on top that shrinks, pulling away from the edges? Well, that's how I feel right now and why I haven't been writing lately. I have a very bad habit of pulling away when I am stressed, overloaded and lonely. I've been away from home since July 7th. It's getting old and hard. However, Champs and Sweet Girl did come to Minnesota last Friday and went home on Tuesday. It gave me and Champs the chance to celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary (albeit a bit late) and me the chance to hold my girl as much as possible.

4 1/2 days... a small bit of Heaven. Just not enough. So... I am pudding and I'm pulling away.

Now if I just knew how not to.

Some comments from this post:
kenju said...
Can you just keep your eye on the day that you will return to them?

Geekwif said...
What Kenju said. ;)

Carmi said...
The skin on top of the pudding was always the best part, the stuff I'd linger over with my spoon as I sat in my grandmother's kitchen and watched her fuss over me.
Thinking of you as you work through this challenging period. I hope the relative dearth of blog entries is a sign that you're busy and engaged. Judy's absolutely right: every day brings you one day closer.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...

2007-10-01T01:15:00.000-05:00

Well, as my favorite saying goes, this is where you tell me I don't look 42...

Yes, today is my 42nd birthday. I wouldn't mind so much - well, let me rephrase that... I wouldn't mind that it's a holiday (not the aging thing so much) if I were home. But it is hard to be away from my husband and my daughter on my birthday. Thank goodness for Geekwif; she took me away today and we shopped, had lunch and generally just enjoyed ourselves. I had the chance to talk to Champs and Sweet Girl, but it's not the same, you know?

I am so behind on my blog; I owe a very long update. Or at least a complete bulleted summary that won't be so long, but would catch everyone up. Suffice to say that I have been sooooo very busy. My mom is in Phoenix visiting my niece and her son, so I am here alone. I don't mind much, except that last weekend she moved from a 2nd floor one bedroom apartment to a first floor two bedroom apartment in a different building in the same apartment complex. And since she is not here, I did all the packing and unpacking pretty much solo. My brothers, Paddy and Guitar Man (along with Guitar Man's family), helped with the move and all the heavy settling, but I've been working on this move for three weeks straight. I'm almost done now; we're almost at the point of settled. By the time Mom comes home, everything will be done. Now I ask you, how good does she have it? Wouldn't you like to go on vacation and come home to a completely moved and settled house?

So, there it is. Today is my birthday and I am not with my family and I'm exhausted from moving my mom. So please, please tell me I don't look 42... I gotta get somethng good outta this! tee hee.

Blond Girl out for now... an real update is on the way.

Here are some comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
You SO do not look 42! And it was my pleasure to hang out yesterday. Plus, I got a b-day present out of it too! :)

kenju said...
I'm sorry that I'm late getting here, BG, but since mr. kenju's stroke, I haven't had time to blog much.
You DON'T look 42, and I hope you had a good birthday, even though you were apart from your family.

utenzi said...
Happy very belated birthday to you! Actually, happy birthday and two weeks to you!

Jerry Moores said...
You DO NOT look 42!!!! Have a wonderful birthday and do something special for somebody and you will love yourself even more!!!
Love your blog!
Found you through Michele...

Sugar Criminal Rehabilitated

2007-09-10T23:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I thought I should post an update to my overly frustrating cop episode of September 1. If you didn't read my last post, the upshot is that I was stopped by a MN state trooper and blindsided by the revelation that my MN driver's license had been canceled due to my failure to provide medical certification for my diabetes - in spite of the fact that the certification was due one month after we moved to IL and I changed my license to IL. My car was towed and I was left without the ability to drive anywhere. Clearly, I had to fight this!

On Tuesday, I contacted the MN Dept of Motor Vehicles and found that I needed to write a letter explaining that I am no longer a Minnesota resident. I faxed the letter in on Tuesday... and on Thursday, as well. On Friday, I got a call from a gal there telling me that the medical unit (who I thought I'd been dealing with all along)wanted me to go to the doctor and get a certification form.

I got the name of the woman in the medical unit and gave her a call. It took some work, but I did get her to understand that the cancellation of my license was an administrative error, not carelessness on my part. When I explained that I am alone in Minnesota with no way to get around other than my car...and that I was legal to drive in 49 states, but not the one I was visiting, it really got through to her. Suddenly, I was her crusade for the day. She had me write a letter to the Chief Evaluator and by 4:00, my driving privileges were reinstated.

I am no longer a sugar criminal. I am legal in all 50 states. Thank Goodness! I still have to fight the citation, but I should be getting a letter from the Chief Evaluator that I can take to the citation judge and get this whole mess resolved. Oh, and the $158.32 I had to cough up to have my perfectly drivable car towed? History. Gone forever.

Gah!

Here are some comments from this post:
David said...
my son had not ONE but TWO vehicles stolen and the tow and impound charges were $500 on the first, and not worth it on the second.
someone STOLE his car and he had to PAY if he wanted to get back what was left.
its 2996 again at Sugarloaf Mountain

Ravvy said...
Hun, that is some seriously crazy stuff! I just finished reading all your latest updates and I cant believe that you had to go through that! That is intense! I would've been in the back of the patrol car sobbing my head off just because I had no idea! And not to mention how crazy your system is over there - Legal in 49 out of 50 states and you get pinged for a very minor thing in the one you apparently weren't legal in?
Not to mention the you have to be legal in a state in order to drive in it? I spose with so many states that would cut back on - ah - stuff?
Out of the 7 states we have, and the 6 you can drive to and through all without extra assistance(Tasmania being over some water), we Australians have it pretty easy!
Still - blows my mind though!
Hope your better today!
And at least most of its all fixed [Minus the tow!]
Carola

Blond Girl.... HOME AGAIN

2007-08-17T23:46:00.000-05:00

I have so much news to update but right now there is only one important thing to say: Blond Girl and Sweet Girl are HOME! Sweet Girl is home for good. I, on the other hand, am home for only two days. On Monday, I will take the Zoom-zoom car and head back to Minneapolis to complete my training at The Big Company.

Yeah, I have news to share, but right now, I have only time, heart and arms for Champs. I'll write again when I am back in Minneapolis!!!!!!!!

Comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
Yay!! Hope your flight home went well. Enjoy your time with your family!

armi said...
What an exciting time for you! I'm excited FOR you, and can't wait to hear the news (it's good news, right?)

Travel safe.

Blond Girl Update 4.1

2007-08-05T22:44:00.000-05:00

Technically, this is my third update blog post. I'm not labeling them by the number of updates, but by elapsed time. That's why this one is 4.1 - 4 weeks, 1 day.

Before I give my update, I have to tell a little story about this morning. I’m sure it’s a social commentary; I’m just not sure that I want to interpret it, so I’ll let you make your own interpretation. In any case, it made me laugh. On our way to church, I saw a woman dressed up, carrying a bible, and walking down the street. Since I was about 3 blocks away, the logical assumption was that she was heading for our church. I slowed down, lowered the window, and asked her if she would like a ride – which she thankfully accepted.

It took me a moment to move my stuff and for her to get in. During that time, three cars came up behind me. Now, I probably should have pulled over instead of stopping in the drive lane, but there weren’t any cars when I saw her and I was stopped for all of 90 seconds. One car stopped behind me and waited patiently for the few seconds it took her to get in the car. The other two cars zoomed around me – and one woman gave me a dirty look as she went.

The car that waited went on its way. The other two cars? You guessed it – they turned into our church parking lot!

On to the update: Needless to say, it's been an eventful week - both for Minnesota and for our little family.

Last Saturday, I took Sweet Girl to the Como Park Zoo to have a fun day with her friend Snow White. There is a new amusement park area at the zoo called "ComoTown", which the girls enjoyed immensely. We spent time going back and forth from the zoo, to the amusement park, and back to the zoo. Snow’s Mom and Dad showed me a picnic area that has been at Como for years, which I never even knew about. In the end, this day cost a lot less than the trip I took to the Minnesota Zoo with Sweet Girl a couple of weeks ago and we had a LOT more fun. I know I rarely show pictures of Sweet Girl, but I’ll bend this time. Here she is on the driving course. Kiddie car driving, that is, not golf driving!

Hello all!

Speaking of driving, on Wednesday, the I-35 Bridge in Minneapolis collapsed, which has been a "miraculous tragedy". I wasn't even aware it had occurred at first; we were sitting in the living room watching TV and working on the computer when the phone rang. It was my sister MaryJane, in Phoenix, calling to be sure we were all OK. It didn't take long for my mom to do a quick round of the entire family to ensure that we were all safe. Our biggest concern was my niece, who is a sophomore at the University of Minnesota and who is in the process of setting up housekeeping on campus. Thankfully, she was nowhere near the area. Although truly horrible, it has been amazing how low the actual fatality list is. So far, it appears that no one from The Big Company was on the bridge at the time, an amazing fact when you consider that we have something like 9 to 10 thousand people employed downtown. I spoke with one coworker who had just gone over the bridge on the way home when he felt a rumble and looked back to see an empty road – no cars behind him. He had missed the collapse by about two minutes. I spoke with another coworker, a fellow trainee in my class, who found out that one of the victims worked at his previous employer. It is odd; when I look at the news, the whole event feels a bit removed from me, like it couldn't possibly be local. But then it is stories like that, which give national newsprint a personal meaning. Throughout the week, I received phone calls and emails from friends and family to be sure we were safe; I appreciated that people were thinking of us.

The rest of the week was pretty calm. Training is going well, though there is SO much to learn! Our first leg of training is complete; next week the rest of my training class gets to start phone lab and answer real brokerage trading calls. I won't get to do that yet; I still have to take the NASD Series 63 test. I will be sequestered all next week, from Monday to Thursday, in a private room studying for the test, which I will take on Friday. I have to pass it to keep my job. I'm not worried about passing it; the average pass rate is in the 90 percentile, and it deals with the regulatory element, which is my strongest area of NASD studies. I'm not happy, however, about missing the phone time. That's a week away from all the stuff I've spent the last month learning. If you care to pray for me, please feel free to pray that I'll pass my test and retain all my practical customer service training. Thanks!

This weekend has been pretty good so far, if not a bit tiring. Yesterday, Sweet Girl and I went to Valley Fair amusement park with Snow’s Mom and Snow White. As I've said before, one of my chief motives for Sweet Girl's time in MN has been to give her as much time with Snow White as we can muster up. Later this week, their family is heading off on vacation, so it was important to get in one last big fun time - and it was the The Big Company annual picnic, anyway. We had fun a lot of fun, but it was disappointing that it rained, rained and RAINED all day! Of course, we weren't planning on rain; we were planning on sunshine! At first the rain was pretty mild, so I bought myself a baseball hat to protect my glasses from the rain. It’s cute, but it does have “Wild Thing” emblazoned across the front. That’s not a big deal in Minnesota where most people will know that it refers to a huge roller coaster, but I’m thinking it might be a bit funnier in Champaign where no one will have a frame of reference…they’ll just think that I am referring to myself! When the rain got really bad, we bought rain ponchos for everyone. The park was out of children's size, so in a fit of desperation, we bought the girls these big yellow ponchos and cut them down to size.

Undeterred by the rain, the girls ran all over the park, eager to experience every pint-size delight – in fact, they rode the kiddie-coaster (The Mild Thing). That was fine with me; I'm not sure I would have had the stomach to keep up with them if they were in their pre-teens and wanted us to accompany them on all the huge coasters. I'm telling you, some of those rides are just not right. There is one called the Rip-Tide. It has these lockdown chairs mounted on a big arm. The arm goes around and around in a big circle, twirling the rider forward and backwards and upside down - all while running a water fountain at varying heights and force. At any time, the rider is upside down, locked into their chair with water being sprayed at them full force. There are two empty Riptide seats outside of the ride line; we took pictures of all of us in the seats. To be honest, that is the closest I ever want to get to such a diabolical ride! If you want to see this ride in action, you can click this link: Riptide.

I'm not the only one who had a busy week, however. Back in Champaign, Champs got the fun of dealing with new carpet. Last weekend, he moved all the furniture in our house out to the garage, kitchen and family room by himself to prepare all the bedrooms and living room for the carpet layers. I wasn't too happy that he had to do it alone, but he's strong - and armed with a couple of furniture dollies, he got it done. The new carpet was laid on Monday and he says it looks really good. He lived in limbo all week and just got all the rooms reassembled this weekend with some help from a friend from work and our next-door neighbor. I can't wait to see how it all looks! I have to admit that it is hard for me not to have been there to help; but I guess I'm doing my part being here for now.

All in all, it's been a good week. A bit busy, a bit mundane. Some happy, some sad. Both Sweet Girl and I are missing Champs something fierce and I can't wait for November when we will all be together again permanently. For now, though, we continue to thank God for his faithfulness to our family and His protection. I'm counting the moments until August 18, when Sweet Girl and I will go home to see Champs and be together for a long weekend. I am not looking forward to August 20, when I will drive back to Minnesota without Sweet Girl to continue my training. Oh well, as I am fond of saying, "it is what it is".

Blond Girl Update 2.5

2007-07-27T00:33:00.000-05:00

Hey folks, it's time for me to post another update. It will be long. If you think it should be shorter, just let me know in comments. Otherwise, I'll assume that you're just riveted by the adventures of Blond Girl in Minnesota and let my thoughts continue to ramble. haha!

Sweet Girl and I have been here just shy of three weeks now. We've settled into a bit of a routine, but it is hard being away from home. Occasionally Sweet Girl will stop playing and look at me, chin and lips wobbling and whimper, "I miss Daddy!" I've held her through a few tears. Of course, being Mommy, I don't get to cry. I have to admit, though, that there have been many times in the midst of training when my attention has wandered off, home to Illinois. I always pull myself back to the present and demand that I pay attention to the world of brokerage trading.

One way that we've combated homesickness is by keeping very, very busy - especially on the weekends. Last weekend Sweet Girl and I went swimming with my friend Laura and her two daughters, Ava and Lexi. Laura and I used to work in the same department and were pregnant together, so we've kept tabs on each other's Mommy experiences along the way, so it was great to get together.

On Saturday night, Sweet Girl went to spend the night with her friend, Snow White, while her mom and I went out to hear my friend AmyM sing in Andover. Sunday was spent with Snow’s Mom, Snow’s Dad and Snow White again. I got to visit their church, which is an A.G. church like ours at home. In fact, the pastor there remembered our pastor, so it will be fun to pass along his greetings when I come home. In the afternoon, we took the girls to a new restaurant here in town called "Space Aliens"... it's essentially like Chuck E. Cheese's, but with good, edible food and NO motorized singing puppets with rolling eyes (those things give me the creeps!). Very nice. The girls dressed up in their favorite princess outfits for the occasion and we celebrated their birthdays (Sweet Girl turned 7 on June 12 and Snow White turned 5 on June 19). They had missed each other's parties, so this was the "make up" party.

Sweet Girl has had an exciting week, as she attended her "downtown daycare" Monday through Wednesday. It's a backup daycare center offered to The Big Company employees for 6 visits a year. I've been using them since Sweet Girl was a baby and the teachers there were so excited that she was coming back to visit. Believe it or not, they remembered her from a year ago. She's had so much fun and can't wait to go back for the three days I've scheduled her in August before she goes home. The break has been good for my mom, too. As much as she loves Sweet Girl, it can be hard to have your days suddenly taken over by an active 7 year-old.

I'm not sure what we'll be doing this weekend. I haven't made plans yet, which isn't like me. I hope we can hook up with some friends or family though. Of course, there's still the organizing I'm trying to help Mom do here, so that can keep us busy as well. At least it should be cooler... It's been really hot and HUMID here the last week. I always laugh when I talk with a Champaign resident who has never been to Minnesota in the summer. Since we have such a cold winter reputation, others tend to expect that our summers are colder, as well. Nothing could be further from the truth; Minnesota is a land of extremes; we get way colder in the winter and waaaayy hotter in the summer! We've been, on average, 6-10 degrees hotter with 5% more humidity than Champaign this last week. I think it's the 13,000 or so lakes here; when the temperature goes up, the city evaporates!

Hmmm.. what else? OH!! OH MY!!!! Yesterday evening Sweet Girl and I went to dinner with my best friend, Geekwif and her husband, Geek. They are Sweet Girl's godparents, so they were looking forward to seeing her. Dinner was wonderful. On the way home, however, I saw something that broke my heart. We drove by the hotel where Champs and I had our wedding reception and where we stayed the night before we moved to Illinois... and it is BEING TORN DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! They are tearing down the Pink Palace O' Love! I was so shocked, I drove all the way around it and took pictures to send home to Champs. He recognized it right away and was as saddened by it as I am. I know we don't live here anymore, but it is still sad to see the site of the best party of my life destroyed... sigh.

While my plans may not be set for this weekend, I know that Champs's are. Our landlord agreed when we renewed our lease that the house NEEDS new carpet. The people who lived there before us were smokers and very hard on the carpet. Well, we are getting the new carpet on Monday... finally. That means that Champs will spend the weekend moving furniture. He's got a bit of help lined up, but I hope he finds more help... either tearing the house apart this weekend or putting it back together over the week. I wish I could be there to help him, but I'm a mean wife off in training... sigh.

Well, I think that this about wraps up this version of the Blond Girl Update. I'll try to exercise some brevity next time... but not tonight.

And a few comments:
kenju said...
I know you are both missing daddy - but surely you will not miss the furniture moving!!

Shannin said...
We are going to have to fill your weekends with fun stuff!!! Trader Joe's??

Blond Girl Update

2007-07-19T01:42:00.000-05:00

Well, Sweet Girl and I have been in Minnesota for a week and a half now. Our flight to Minnesota was great! I haven't been on a plane in at least 10 years and this was Sweet Girl's first plane flight. She loved it! In fact, I'm pretty sure that I was more scared than she was. We flew out of Midway airport in Chicago. I bought our tickets on Priceline and did sidewalk check-in then worked our way through security. It couldn't have gone better. Both Chicago and Minneapolis were breathtaking from the air. I think my favorite part as we flew in was seeing all the lakes! Champaign is a great town, but it is somewhat lacking in the water department. I have always said that Minnesota is a beautiful state and seeing it from the air only proves my point. So lovely.

We're staying with Mom and getting caught up on seeing friends and family. On Saturday, Sweet Girl and I went out to tour the Minnesota Zoo; the monorail and swans were the hit of the day. Then on Sunday, we had a birthday party for Mom. We haven't seen my brothers, sister-in-law and their kids since we moved, so it was nice to get back together with them.

Mom has been taking care of Sweet Girl while I'm at work, which is great for the two of them to have some concentrated time together. Speaking of work, I'm firmly immersed in training, learning the systems and policies regarding equity trades. Funny that I'm blowing the dust off and finally using all the stocks, margin and options knowledge that I so studiously stuffed into the dark recesses of my brain when I took my NASD Series 7 test three years ago! Now I have to study for, and pass, the NASD Series 63 test. Yikes!

I have been having so much fun connecting with all my old work friends. I only warned two friends that I was coming, so it has been a hoot seeing people's reactions when they see me walking the halls of Ameriprise. In addition to my training, I'm working on re-establishing my network so that I can remain "visible" when I return to Illinois. Although I took a grade decrease to return to the company, I fully intend to work my way back up to where I was - and beyond.

Both Sweet Girl and I have been feeling a lot of homesickness. Actually, it's not homesickness as much as it is CHAMPS-sickness (and, yes, a good dose of Gus-cat-sickness too)! We miss Champs. We knew it would happen, so we're handling it. Thank goodness for free long distance on our home phone (internet phone is a wonderful thing). We talk to Champs every night. Sweet Girl will be going home the weekend of August 17 to prep for the start of second grade, which is good. I think the 7-year old heart doesn't handle long-term separation as well as the mommy does. Of course, she doesn't have text messaging on her phone! I have to admit that my cell phone has definitely been a lifeline for me. In fact, my homesickness is strongest at night. I bought a full-sized airbed and put it in Mom's room next to her bed. Her room is, literally, wall to wall bed. It's funny! Sweet Girl curls up next to me each night and I drift off to sleep thinking about Champs at home, sleeping in our comfy bed. Sigh.

When I was planning to come, we decided that I should bring Sweet Girl along so that I wouldn't be separated from both Champs and Sweet Girl for four months; that would have been more than I could handle. Sweet Girl agreed that 5 weeks in Minnesota would be fun. Other than seeing Grandma and family, Sweet Girl's greatest motivation for coming to Minnesota with me was to see her friends, especially her best friend, Snow White. Although Snow White is two years younger than Sweet Girl, the girls have been best friends for four years. They used to attend both the same church and daycare, so 6 days a week together makes for a strong friendship. Sweet Girl has only seen Snow White once since we moved, so this visit has really been good for her. Of course, there are also all her other friends from Sunday school. She was so excited when we went to our old church and she was able to connect with all her other friends. Snow White's mom and I are hoping to get all the kids together for an afternoon before Sweet Girl goes home.

Part of the way I'm dealing with homesickness is by helping Mom sort through the rooms in her house. After 47 years of marriage and raising 4 kids, she has more possessions than her one bedroom apartment can hold. We're sorting through, keeping the things that really matter and giving the rest to charity. It's not an easy task, but making the rooms open, airy, and filled with heart and function has been good for both of us. I keep thinking of it as a 4-month episode of “Clean Sweep”. Perhaps I could get my own show on HGTV or TLC… Hmmmm.

Well, I can't really think of anything else to write about, other than Champs and I are so grateful to God for this opportunity with my new job. It really will revolutionize our lives. Every day that I'm away, I just imagine what it will be like to get up in the morning, get Sweet Girl ready for school and then go to the guest room to log in and begin my day at work! Truly, it is that vision that gets me through everyday, until I can go home and have me, Champs and Sweet Girl together again.

Here are the comments for this post:
kenju said...
I'm glad you are enjoying you time there. When you finish, will you come here and help me pare down a 25 year accumulation?

Paul said...
Hey you. It's been some time since you and I have communicated. I know you're busy and all that. Stop by. I posted another picture of myself. You'll have to scroll, but you'll see it. No, it's not the one of Kermit.

Freeway Flirt?

2007-07-18T01:02:00.000-05:00

Now that I'm here, Mom has been giving me rides to work each day, which I greatly appreciate. I have to admit, though, that after nearly a year away, I've forgotton how it can be to drive in real traffic. Every time I hear a Champaign resident complain about the traffic, I chuckle to myself and think, "You don't know JACK about traffic!" This week has proven my point. The gridlock today was especially henious; all four lanes of the highway were moving at a snail's pace.

On the way home, Mom's car started to overheat a bit so we opened the windows and turned off the air conditioner. Normally, I wouldn't drive with the windows open on the highway, but 88 degrees and slow moving traffic convinced me it wasn't a problem. As we were inching alone, I looked back at Sweet Girl sitting in the back looking a bit bored. I flashed her the "I love you!" sign, but she didn't see it. So I turned my head toward the back seat and loudly called out (remember, we were in traffic with the windows open), "hi Cutie!".

I no sooner had the words out of my mouth when my mom started giggling. I asked her what was so funny and she discretely pointed to the car next to us - and to the older gentleman driving with his window open, grinning from ear to ear. Apparently, I had just made his day.

I'm a freeway flirt! Who knew?

Comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
Too funny!
So, out of curiosity, is there a reason one should not drive with one's windows open on the freeway? Because my windows are always open in the summer, no matter what kind of road I'm driving on. With no a/c, I don't think I could stand it otherwise.

kenju said...
Aw, I'll bet he bragged to anyone who'd listen!

Linda said...
Sounds like you did a random act of kindness!
Didn't realize you were in Champaign (is that where you reside, or where you're training?), cuz I have a friend for you and sweet girl (about the same age, I think!)
Drivers have no clue how bad it really is until they drive Atlanta or DC...and I really think Atlanta is worse than any other place. I did the 4 year commute there....never again!

Shannin said...
OK, get real. Minneapolis traffic is NOTHING compared to Los Angeles traffic. Trust me on this. Of course, the worst traffic is a Sunday afternoon between Las Vegas and Los Angeles. I will fall on my knees to see the "real" traffic in MSP...

5:34 PM
Bec said...
You asked, "Who knew?" Was that a joke? Because I thought EVERYONE knew. At least you weren't wearing your "Pentecostal Preacher's Wife All Bathed in Purity" outfit or you would have been giving mixed signals. Ah, the joy of a double life. Ha ha.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2007-07-09T23:17:00.000-05:00

Today is my mom's birthday. I've always joked that she can't lie about her age. She was 30 when I was born. I'll be 42 on my next birthday (ye gads!) so that makes her "72 years YOUNG!", as she likes to say. I think that's a pretty good label. I mean, she is 72 and has some of the inevitable slowing down to go along with it, but she's also very spry and full of life. Her favorite thing is to be everyone's friend and grandma. In fact, her nickname at her apartment complex is "Grandma Bobbi" and everyone here stops me to tell me what a sweetheart my mom is. Pretty cool, huh?

When Mom got pregnant with me in the wee hours of 1965 (or the waning days of 1964), she was a living example of the 60's riddle "what do you call a woman who misses the the pill one day? Mom!". At the time, she had three kids, the youngest of whom was 5 years old. She'd given away all her baby paraphernalia (against the advice of my aunts who predicted a pregnancy if she did so) and determined that her baby days were over, much to the relief of her doctor who told her she wasn't supposed to have any. more. babies. Ever. Needless to say, I was a bit of a surprise. Even though I was the classic "oops" baby, my parents never made me feel like a mistake. My mom, especially, told me over and over through the years how happy she was to have me. When the other three went out on her own, she was so glad not to have an empty nest... and told me all the time.

Back in 1989 when I was in my first year of bible college, I wrote Mom a poem for Mother's Day. I didn't have any money, but I had a friend in typesetting who printed the poem up with a lovely font and flowers (I went to Bethany College and worked at Bethany House Publishers, home of the "Love Comes Softly" series) and I'd found a pretty frame to put it in. What was true in 1989 is even more applicable today (especially since I have the daughter I wrote about 11 years before she was born), so I figured I would post the poem here as a birthday tribute to my mom.

Tender Hands

From the first day of my infancy
the dearest love I've ever known
has been one of gentle nurturing
which the kindest hands have sown.

These hands plowed a ground hard with folly
fallow from my earliest days
For Love's hard work has carefully sought
to break the ground and soften my ways.

With every gentle word Love spoke
with each unselfish deed
tender hands have reached out to plant
their promise in a seed.

Through many years and heartaches,
with laughter and with prayers,
diligently these hands have worked
to protect the promise from the tares.

As the years have passed, Love's watched me grow
to see the fruit I'll bear
and when you look at me closely you'll see
imprints of tender hands there.

As I am growing older,
Love's work is almost done.
The promise implanted in the seed
is who I have become.

Someday, it will be my hands
that plant a garden with godly fear.
And I will plant Love's promise seeds
in a little one so dear.

And as that child grows in love,
and the promise in her stands,
may I become to her what my dear mother is to me,
God's most loving pair of hands.

May 14, 1989

Whoa baby, it's hot out here!

2007-07-08T19:14:00.000-05:00

Well, Sweet Girl and I are in Minneapolis for the beginning of our 5 week (for Sweet Girl), 4 month (for me) odessey. Our flight went PERFECTLY - aside from the fact that we had to leave home on my husband's birthday. So much for giving him a present, huh? Sweet Girl has never flown before, so a short commuter flight from Chicago-Midway airport to Minneapolis was just the right amount of time her a first foray into the world of air travel. Now that we're here, we're caught up in the whirlwind of going to our old church and seeing old friends. In fact, I am typing this entry out on my friend's laptop. Sweet Girl is playing with Snow White upstairs and we will soon have to call them down for a pizza lunch. We're staying inside where we are safe from the imminent danger of melting. It's something like 96 degrees and 98% humidity right now. We should be getting a storm here pretty quick. I start back at The Big Company tomorrow morning. There's so much going on right now that my mind is spinning. The biggest thing I can say at this moment is that I'm glad to see my mom... and oh, my goodness, do I miss Champs!!!!

Blond Girl is in the house... for a couple more days, anyway

2007-07-03T22:24:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure how many people will see this post; I am certain all my readers have given up on me and I can't blame them. However, I think I will soon be back to blogging. If not to keep friends and family posted, then just to keep my sanity.

As I've mentioned in the past, this has been a difficult year for us--especially financially. For me personally, it has been a year of identity crises. Who am I? What is my role in this world, this family, this town? I am beginning to learn some of the answers. I won't be sharing them tonight, but it will be coming.

No, tonight's blog is basically a newscast. Here's the big news: Since we moved here to Illinois, I've missed working for The Big Company and we have missed the income. Since we've moved here, I've often said "I want to live in Illinois and work in Minnesota! If only we had transporter technology..."

Guess what? God hears prayers and answers in unexpected ways! I won't have a transporter to use but... I have been asked to return to The Big Company and been offered a job as an Advanced Service Representative. I start on Monday, July 9. It's a step down in terms of my band level when I left Minnesota, but it's a huge step forward for our lives here in Illinois - and now that I'm back, I can work my way back up again. The best part is, I will be working from home as a virtual employee! Not only that, but I will continue working occasionally for my current (previous, as of Thursday) employer on a freelance basis. Cool, huh?

This answer to prayer couldn't have come at a better time and we are amazed at the hand of God on our behalf. Our lease is up soon and we were planning to move to a smaller home to save money - but having a hard time finding something that would meet our needs as nicely as the home we're renting now. However, now that I'm returning to The Big Company, we will be able to stay right here - no move, and a lot of stability for Sweet Girl. This is a wonderful thing because this new job comes at a bit of a price: I have to go back to Minneapolis for four months or so of training and then I'll come back home to be a virtual employee.

When I go to Minnesota on Saturday, Sweet Girl will go with me for a few weeks before school starts so that she can spend some time with Grandma and see some friends she's been missing for awhile. When school starts, she'll be back home with Daddy while I remain in Minneapolis to complete my training. Along the way, we're hoping for a few chances to see each other, as money and long weekends permit.

Although we're not looking forward to such a long separation, we know this is going to be a wonderful advancement for the family. I am already working to school my emotions to get through this... Looking toward the prize four months down the line. Please feel free to leave comments or say prayers for us. We are so thankful... and I have so much to do to be ready to go!

Here are some comments from this post:
kenju said...
I have NOT given up on you BG! I was reading through some comments on old posts just today and saw one of yours. I wondered how you were doing and here you are! Welcome back, if only for a few times. Good luck with the new job and with the separation. I'll add you to my prayer list.

Star said...
A scrifice for sure, but one that will bring you all many benefits. Good news indeed.

Geekwif said...
Woo hoo! I get you back! (if only for a few months) I know it's going to be hard for you to be away from your family, but you've got friends here who'll do what we can to keep you sane. (Think bead and consignment shopping with that new bigger paycheck of yours.) :)

Thumper said...
:::Does the wave::: Awesome!
(and I still check everyday to see if ya got a new post...I figured you were busy with Real Life...)

Carmi said...
I would never give up on you. My own career wild ride has forced me to stop reading my fave blogs for a bit, but I could never forget you or your writing.
I'm thrilled that this opportunity has found you. I believe good things happen to good people, and you've been long overdue for a lot of good things. I couldn't be happier for you, and I can't wait to read more about your amazing adventure.
Think of the stories you'll tell in the years to come.
Oh, before I forget: I'm now one of those virtual work-at-home types. If I can be of any help when you settle into your new role, let me know.

King Tut needs to take a bike ride, I guess...

2007-05-02T21:05:00.000-05:00

First grade imparts much to our children. Knowledge, confidence and supreme authority on every question, I think. At least it seemed that way after talking with Sweet Girl. We were on our way home from daycare when I explained that I wanted to make southwestern salad, instead of tacos, for dinner.

"Oh, that's healthy!" she said. "Yeup", I replied. "Exercise is healthy, too, Mom. Like biking! It's on the healthy pyramid. Exercise and good eating are on the healthy pyramid. And I know where it is. Do you know where it is, Mom?"

"No, where is it?" I asked.

"In Egypt!"

Well, tell Tut to put that in his tomb with all the other treasures!

Here are some comments from this post:
kenju said...
Bless her sweet little heart! Soon (we hope) she will learn to tell the difference in the facts she is learning. That's so funny, though.

Geekwif said...
Too cute. Sounds just like your precocious little sweet girl. :)

Tracie said...
No wonder I dont' eat healthy or exercise....the food pyramid is in Egypt!!

Paul said...
I've never been to the pyramids myself. So please pass the pizza, M&Ms, burgers and all-things-chocolate. Thank you.
You've got a smart and creative little girl. Bless 'er heart.

Evelyn said...
You write very well.

Blessed or Beaten? Part 1

2007-04-18T00:10:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure how to begin this post, in spite of the fact that I've written it in my head at least a hundred times. As I wrote recently, we've been going through a very stressful time - especially as it relates to work (and by extension, money). The last couple of months have felt like we're the stars in some real-life melodrama - but without the huge TV audiences or the big paycheck. Have I mentioned that I don't enjoy melodrama?

Champs was laid off from his second-shift job (we'll call the company AL) in early February, just three weeks after finally qualifying for medical benefits. He began working in the employed-today-and-unemployed-again-tomorrow world of temporary work and collecting unemployment when he was off assignments. 32 Days after being laid off, Champs was called back to AL because they had fired 3 workers. He had no choice but to go back to his old job at AL, even though he hated it and it meant that once again he wouldn't see Sweet Girl. On top of it, because AL called him back on the 32nd day, they would not reinstate his benefits - and we fought them for four days over the issue. It was frustrating that they would make him work another 90 days to qualify for benefits when he had already worked four months for them and completed one round of qualification. Not only that, but when he was laid off, he was an auditor. They brought him back as a forklift driver. Needless to say, all this was very upsetting for Champs - and his wife.

One week after returning to the traitor's employ, Champs hurt his shoulder at work. Thankfully, it was a mild injury, but without any insurance, we are now at the mercy of workman's comp to pay the hospital bill. Interestingly enough, that was the last day Champs worked for them.

Around the time he was called back, he got a call from a company (we'll call it HH)to he had applied months ago asking him to come in for an interview, which he did a couple of days before he hurt himself. The hiring manager liked Champs, but ran into consistent problems trying to get references and background checks from AL. Through the process, the manager assured Champs that he planned to offer him the job - once he got everything he needed from AL.

After Champs hurt his shoulder, he was off work to recuperate for three days. During that time, he sat down and discussed the situation with me. Because he felt certain to the get the new job and because he hated AL with every. fiber. of. his. being, he proposed to quit that job. With my heart in my throat (and a promise from Champs that I could punch him hard, twice, if he didn't get the HH job) I agreed. He called in and explained that he wouldn't be back.

It took 5 more days for Champs' new manager to get what he needed and give Champs an offer - an offer that is about $6.60 less per hour than he used to earn in Minneapolis. On April 4, Champs started his new job. It doesn't pay great, but it is so much better. Champs likes the work and the people. Also on the plus side, this is the first time in our last seven years of marriage that Champs is working a first shift job with no over-the-road travel. Having him home every night is amazing. Also, even though he doesn't get paid much, the benefits and room for advancement are good at HH.

That's Champs' story. Mine will be next. Stop back for chapter two of "The Old and the Dutiful" (or maybe "The Stung and the Reckless").

Yawn, stretch... Good morning.

2007-04-09T12:10:00.000-05:00

Have you ever awoken from a dream that was so real you can still smell and taste it, but so convoluted that you struggle to explain it? The kind of dream that leaves you feeling as though you haven't slept at all and haunts you all day long?

You have? Good.

Because that is the best way for me to explain why I've been gone for so long. Our lives the last month have been like an intense dream - or a really bad soap opera. And, by the way, I hate soap operas. One of my failings is that when I get stressed and frustrated, I tend to withdraw. So I haven't been reading blogs or writing in mine. Even poor Geekwif has had to subsist with only phone calls and text messages from me this last month. Yes, I know - I am a wimp.

We're coming out of it, though, step by step, and some good things are happening for our family. I will write soon; I just have to determine the best way to synopsize our experiences without missing the important things or adding so much I bore you all to tears.

Rest assured, we are well... dazed, but well.

Swwet Girl Bribe

2007-03-16T21:33:00.000-05:00

I made a ham and vegetable frittata for dinner tonight. Champs and I finished eating pretty quickly, but Sweet Girl took a few minutes longer to eat dinner (that’s nothing new, actually).

Here's a SweetGirlism story about our dinner. I was at the store with Sweet Girl this evening and picking up some ham and hash browns. She asked what it was for and I said I was making a frittata.

"I don't like that!" she insisted (Note, she's never even heard the word). I told her that she would love it. "No! I don't like it!" again. I went on to explain that she loves all the ingredients I was using; broccoli, cheese, onions, etc. Nope, she still wasn't having it.

So I did something I never do.

I said, "OK, I'll make a deal with you. If you promise to eat all of your dinner with NO COMPLAINTS, then I will buy ice cream for dessert - and you can pick out the flavor." At this point, she nearly squealed with delight. "But", I said with grave sincerity, "if you complain even once, you won't get any ice cream for dessert. In fact, you won't get any ice cream out of the entire carton, no matter how long it takes Daddy to eat it."

Man, talk about round eyes! She counted the cost, agreed, and we proceeded to the ice cream aisle, where she picked out Eddy's Girl Scouts Thin Mints Limited Edition ice cream and accepted my challenge.

She just finished eating and I heard nothing but praises to her dinner since it came out of the oven (Champs and I told her it was getting a little thick when she declared it the best dinner she'd ever had). Yeah, I bribed my kid - something I rarely do - but I have to admit that it worked and it was pretty funny.

Here are some comments from this post:
Carmi said...
Bribery is always within the scope of parenthood when it results in a well-fed, healthy child. Good strategy on this one!
And I'm sure the ice cream tasted especially good. I've learned something tonight!

kenju said...
I see no problem with that at all! Whatever works, right?

Melissa said...
Too funny. Glad it worked. A frittata sounds really good. Actually, so does the ice cream.

margalit said...
Hey, same bribary, different dinner! I made beef stew tonight. My son (14) complained constantly about how he hates beef stew like it was going to poison him. I told him that if he ate some, he could have ice cream for dessert. After 3 bowls of beef stew, he had earned his ice cream!
Michele sent me.

Geekwif said...
Mmmmm. Frittata. Sounds yummy.
I love that she said it was the best dinner ever. Sounds just like your girl. :)

chase said...
A frittata... hmmm that sounds yummy. And yes a treat will always perk things up!

Maybe I'm Crazy.... Probably

2007-03-14T00:47:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've posted; partly because I've been so busy and partly because I recently "discovered" Facebook. I goaded one of my friends to join (Hi, Geekwif!) but she wouldn't do it until I explained what she could get there that she can't get via email or her blog. After an explanation, she jumped in and quickly learned what I meant about the ease of catching up with friends, acquaintances and such.

But I have to admit that there is one thing about Facebook that I'm not fond of, and that is my inability to rant, rave, and reveal myself. I miss the journaling factor of it; that thing that allows me to sit in front of a white page and just let go - regardless of the length, unfettered by the need to be cute and quick about it, too. If you think about it, it's the text message of the journaling world. I think of Facebook as being more of an autograph book than a journal.

OK, so enough about that. I was about to explain that I may be crazy - and that, in fact, I probably am. Why, you ask? Because of my to-do list. I'm not sure how much more I can cram in there, but knowing me, I will try.

Let's see. We just bought a house and closed on Tuesday. We're not moving until the 21st, but that leaves us from now till then to finish packing up everything in this house (about 1/2 done), and get the new house all cleaned and ready to be moved into. Then there is the settling to be done at the new house, and the required cleaning before we vacate this rental at the end of the month.

Next, there is Sweet Girl's schedule. She's in Girl Scouts, so we've been running around like mad trying to deliver cookies. Also, she's in the park district's theater production of Annie Jr as an orphan. She has practice 4 days a week.

Next, there is my Pampered Chef business. I did a show last week and I have one this Sunday - 6 days before we move.

Also, I accepted a role as a team lead at work for a project. I'm loving it, but it is keeping me at work about an extra 1-2 hours a week (love the OT though!).

All of this stuff needs to be organized, scheduled, fit together. Somehow, I'm doing it (as is my hubby). The only question remains, "Are you crazy?!?"

Undoubtedly.

Some comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
Facebook does definitely leave something to be desired for the person who wants to really write. Not that I've been doing much of that on my own blog lately....
If you wanted to know if you were crazy, you should have just asked. I could have told you that long ago! ;-) Silly girl.
Just don't wear yourself down. Busy is better than bored, but wearing yourself to exhaustion is not good.

Star said...
I am still resisting Facebook, because I am afraid of the time it will suck up. I do Twitter though. Good luck with the new house.

David said...
you left out the descriptive "totally" that goes so well with CRAZY.
That sounds nuts to me

Conversations

2007-02-22T22:18:00.000-06:00

I should do a T13 today, but I figured instead, I would relate three conversations I've had in the last 10 minutes.

Last night we had Papa Murphy's take-n-bake pizza and I got a small cheesy bread, which I saved for tonight. After some deliberation, I made it into a chicken pizza and stirred up some brownies to bake while we ate. Near the end of dinner, I got up to check the gooey goodness and sat back down. "2 More minutes", I mouthed to Champs, not yet ready to divulge the surprise to the rest of the family. Sweet Girl looked at me and asked, "what's in the oven, Mom?"

"The thermometer", I said.

"What is it checking the temperature of?" asked mini me.

"The oven", quoth I

"Oh", she breathed... and asked again "well, what's in the oven?"

"The rack", I quipped.

"What's it holding?" she tried one last time to get me to give up the goods.

"The thermometer". Champs and Grandma laughed. She sighed and gave up. Sometimes trying to talk circles around mom just won't work!

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Later, I walked into the living room, past a couple of baskets full of laundry which, to my dismay, were still in the living room and not put away in our bedroom, which is Champs' assigned household duty. I went over to the coffee table where Champs was lounging and playing a video game (or was he watching T.V.? I'm not sure). I bent down and said quietly, "you know what I did on Monday night?"

"No".

"I did laundry. And I finished it on Tuesday night. Now it's Thursday. Are you wondering what your part in this is?"

"No", he deadpanned.

"Oh", I answered. "And are you wondering how hard I am going to hit you?"

He just laughed at me and went on with his game, knowing that he can push my buttons just as well as he can Madden 2000 .

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Finally, I went out to the kitchen to cut up the now cooled marshmallow-slathered brownies. Ala' Alton Brown, I had baked them in a pan lined with parchment paper, so I could lift them out of the pan to cut them up. With all the melted marshmallows on top, the knife got gunked up pretty quickly - all full of warm, yummy gooeyness. I contemplated the knife and raised it to wipe it off with my fingers. As I raised it, my mom yelped, "you're not going to put that in your mouth, are you?"

"No!" I scoffed. "Do I look that stupid?"

She looked at me for a moment with the unspoken comment that when chocolate is involved...

"Never mind. Don't answer that."

Here are some comments from this post:
princssis said...
MMMM - So, how were they? Would this happen to be the special box of brownies I bought?
K - I need a chocolate fix now. And I don't have any brownie mix. (darn!)

kenju said...
Mmmmmm....bownies! I had some last week. Champs is related to mr. kenju, I think....LOL. Laundry here can remain in the basket for days and days!

Linda said...
I will lick the knife...if it's only my family eating, chances are we've already shared all the germs, between kissing and coughing and sneezing and blowing raspberries (I have young'uns!)
And I lick SHARP knives too...and don't cut my tongue!
Now I have to make brownies....sigh. Maybe I'll give in and make healthier raspberry bars instead.

carli said...
What time do you want me for dinner tomorrow night?

Minerva said...
You have me SALIVATING...
Pass some over here, or at least the recipe...
Dribble.....
Minerva

Shannin said...
Thinking of you and hoping Champs finds something soon! Still keeping my ears peeled if anything comes up with The Company.

Daddy's Situation from Sweet Girl's Perspective

2007-02-16T18:47:00.000-06:00

Well, if you've read my last few posts, you know that Champs was laid off on Monday. We're into the world of unemployment, on-line job searches and resumes all over town.

The down side is that we have no money.

As a parent, it is easy to see the down side - and forget that there may be an upside.

However, there is Sweet Girl's perspective. See, Champs worked from 3:00 - 11:00 p.m., so Sweet Girl only got to see him for about 20 minutes before and after school each day. When he came home early on Monday, she didn't ask why. We waited until Tuesday evening just before supper to explain to her why Daddy was home at this unusual time. I explained that sometimes, a company has too many workers - more workers than work to do - and so they have to let some of them go so that they no longer work there.

Champs followed along and gave some additional input as I explained that this is what happened to her Daddy. She understood that Champs didn't do anything wrong - it was because of the company, not him. We explained that money will be very tight for our family until Daddy finds a new job - and that we are hoping that this time, when he starts a new job, it will be during the day when she is at school.

Sweet Girl sat quietly through our explanation and then I asked her if she had any questions. She sat silent for a minute, thinking and then asked, "so Daddy will be home when I am home now"? Champs and I nodded. Sweet Girl hopped off her seat, ran into the family room and started dancing, hooting and singing that Daddy was home.

I know she can't see the whole situation, but seeing her perspective reminded us of the Bible's exhortation to thank the Lord at all times. Remember that it says a child will lead them? Well, she did.

Thank You, Lord, for Champs being laid off. Thank You that he can be with his Sweet Girl - and his Blond Girl - for dinner each night. Thank You that he can be here to put her to bed and say her prayers with her. Thank You that we can trust You to care for us. Thank You, in advance, for the perfect daytime job!

And most of all, Thank You for Sweet Girl and her joyful perspective to teach us.

Here are some comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
1. How adorable and sweet is she. I can just see her dancing around the room nearly squealing in delight that her daddy will be home with her.
2. I'm so glad she was able to shine some light on your situation. Like Little B said the other night, this may just be the answer to your prayers by allowing Champs to get the job God has for him.
3. Holy cow Sweet Girl's hair is getting long!!!
4. And have you ever seen such skinny little arms!
5. I miss your girl. I miss you too, but seeing that picture just reminded me of her and how much I miss her.

ShopaholicsDaily said...
What a great way to turn things around. I'm not sure that would have been my first thought, but sometimes you do have to look at the world through a child's eyes!

David said...
praying for God's blessing on your family in this transition

Carmi said...
I am always amazed at children's ability to see the world in simple, honest tones, and to find the good in pretty much anything. You've got one very special little girl there, no doubt because you've both been such great parents to her.
I wish I lived closer so I could actually help. If I can be of virtual assistance, please don't be shy.

Catherine said...
It's strange that Michele sent me to this post, because my husband was laid off last week. And when I went to my part-time job intending to tell my boss that I would have to look for an extra part-time job, or a fulltime one, he offered me extra hours. Before I even asked. Of course, I only get about a third of the pay rate my husband did, as he worked in a highly specialised field for many years. But I have a feeling things will be OK for us, and for you too. Here's hoping for the perfect daytime job for him.

Sarch said...
blond girl you can count on me for prayer support from down here in Alabama. I know this is a difficult time for you, but I know that if you'll keep your faith in God through this it will work out to your good and His glory! You and Champ and Sweet Girl will look back at this at some point and say, "There was a time where the Lord sustained us."
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

Veda said...
Great explanation! Kids are fantastic at finding the up-side to just about anything, and what kid that age doesn't want only to be with Mom and Dad? Great post, Blond Girl!

Mr. Althouse said...
That's really nice, really. Sometimes it takes a child to completely ignore the periphery and remind us of what it's really all about.
Nice!
Michele sent me,

Mike

kenju said...
Blond Girl, you and Champs are definitely seeing the silver lining to the cloud. I hope that he will find a good job soon, one that will continue to allow him to be home with you and Sweet Girl for dinner!

MissMeliss said...
Trust a child to only see the best and brightest bit of a situation. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sure you'll get through this and come out the better for it.

Thumper said...
I'm glad you're able to see the bright side to things. I think I'd be puking up toenails if the Spouse Thingy lost his job... I hope Champs finds something *soon.*

Mike

Momish said...
Oh, its always wonderful to find the bright side to a previously scary and sad situation. And, it is even better when your child leads to you that revelation!
Best of luck to you both. Hang in there and enjoy the unexpected time together as much as possible.

13 Things About All the SNOW!

2007-02-15T21:48:00.000-06:00

Well, Champaign got hit with 10 inches of snow on Tuesday and we're still reeling from it. So I bring you 13 Things about all this silly snow:

1. A winter storm watch was posted on Monday for Tuesday during the day. The school districts closed on Monday at 3:00 - hours before a flake had fallen. Wimps.

2. Monday was a pretty mild day; about 33 degrees. So after work (and while waiting to find out if Champs still had a job) I went out and chipped the ice from the previous snow off the end of our driveway. I figured a clean slate would be easier to work with. I expected my neighbors to do the same, but I didn't see anyone else taking advantage of the opportunity. I guess some things you just learn from living in a snowy climate.

3. Before we went to bed, we got all our vehicles off the street and onto the clean driveway. This served two purposes; to keep our cars from getting stuck in the street and to help keep the driveway cleaner. Again, none of the neighbors did this.

4. By the time we woke up on Tuesday morning, the snow was halfway up the tires and the plows were just getting out. Since the schools were closed, I didn't go to work. Mostly, I just wanted to be home with Champs to help him and me look for better jobs.

5. Mid-day Tuesday the IL-DOT closed the highways. The plows couldn't keep up. They would plow the snow and it would blow back on the road. They never saw how MN DOT does it; they use a huge snow blower plow and blow it into huge dump trucks that remove the snow and cart it away, not just pile it up at the side of the highway.

6. By noon on Tuesday the district declared the schools closed on Wednesday, fearing that the plows wouldn't get the roads cleared in time. Wimpy Wimps.

7. On Tuesday, Champs went out late afternoon and snowplowed our driveway and a neighbor's driveway. It was still snowing, but it's always easier to get out after a big snow if you move some of it part way through. Again, must be a Minnesota thing, because no one else was out trying to clear up that we could see. Champs has a bright orange snow suit that he wore to get the plowing done. He sure won't get hit by a snow plow wearing that thing. That is, if a snow plow ever comes...

8. The snow finally ended around 6:00 p.m. or so, leaving us with 10 inches. You can no longer see the grill on our back patio. Our back door drifted shut, so my mom's dog, Lucy, had to go out front to do her, um, business. Since she's only 9 inches tall and hairy, she wasn't too happy about the snow thing. Mom was concerned about putting a leash on Lucy since the front yard is not fenced like the back yard. I told her she needn't worry; the dog barely went two feet from the house and zoomed back inside the moment she was done.

9. Wednesday morning, the highways were still closed and the plows had barely gotten anything. The major grid roads were cleared, but none of the residential streets. Thankfully, my little zoom-zoom car is a great snow vehicle and got me right through. The streets were nearly deserted. Going steadily and carefully, I got to work in a surprisingly fast 10 minutes.

10. Since he was home, Champs got our driveway completely cleared and helped to get three neighbors unstuck (from our as-yet unplowed streets), as well as snowplowed two more driveways. They all said "well, you're from Minnesota, so you're used to this, right?" Pretty much, it seems.

11. A full 24 hours after the storm ended, our residential streets were not plowed. Whatever! On top of that, at 7:00 p.m. the district declared our schools closed AGAIN on Thursday. The reason? One or two of the school parking lots weren't plowed yet. They couldn't have a few schools open and a few closed, so they closed them all. Wimpiest Wimpy Wimps! I bet a few of the dads with plows on their trucks would have gladly cleared up the problem to get their kids back in class on Thursday morning.

12. By this morning, the residential streets were finally plowed - except where people left their cars stuck in the roads. City officials didn't start towing cars until Wednesday evening. In Minneapolis, they declare a snow emergency as soon as there is an inch of snow and start towing violators immediately. The plows are not as hindered by cars. Residents just know; if it's gonna snow, get your cars off the street. Another Minneapolis snow knowledge thing, I guess.

13. I went to work today; the streets finally plowed and everything open. Here's the funny part; it took me 18 minutes to get there! No joke. People here don't know how to drive in the snowy stuff. Case in point: one women went down a curvy street at 5 MPH. I am not exaggerating. There was a line of cars built up behind her at least 15 vehicles long. I'm sorry, but if you're afraid to drive when it's all been plowed, then you should probably stay home. Call the school district, they'll condone it.

The point of this blow-by-blow is that the city planners here could learn something from Minneapolis. We had a humdinger of a storm last March; 13-20 inches. More than 120 buses were stuck in the snow and 20,000 plus people lost power. By the next morning, the streets were cleared, the power was on and school - every school - was in session. No highways closed and no one missed three days of school. So this town doesn't get as much snow as Minneapolis does. It would still be nice if they would learn to be prepared when it does!

Here are some comments from this post:
Sarch said...
Blond Girl you cracked me up with this post. "Wimpiest wimpy wimps" - LOL

My gosh but you are harsh! :-)

MissMeliss said...
This may have been a rant, but having lived in SoDak where there is serious winter, it made me laugh and nod in agreement. Wimpy wimps indeed!

Stacie said...
I'm from Michigan and it used to snow like crazy there when I was a kid. I always have to laugh when here in CT, they close schools the night before because it's "supposed" to snow...
Wimps indeed! Unbelievable. Sometimes they cancel school if we get snow on a weekend, because they don't want to pay a janitor to come in on a sunday (they'd have to pay overtime) to shovel the sidewalks...so they cancel school. No kidding!

Veda said...
Hey, Blond Girl. Midwest winters are not for the faint of heart, that's for sure! I would think though that Illinois would be better at handling it all. I've been through MN in the winter - you're right, much clearer than the rest of that trip. Here via...Veda's (thanks for the really great comment, btw)!

said...
last year we had plenty ( but late) this year we can hardly scrape together enough for the skiers.
funny weather, but Calif is like that. lovely rant, did you learn that in MN also? hehe
here from miss melliss

L-Girl said...
Yay!! A snow day!! I love those. You guys were ahead of the game!

Geekwif said...
I have to agree with the wimpy wimps thing. I think I wouldn't mind if Minneapolis was just a teeny bit wimpier though. Three days off is a bit much, but one might be nice now and then. ;)

Carmi said...
I so relate to this list. Montreal's public works department approaches winter snow clearing with the discipline of a military unit. Their response protocol defines what kind of equipment is deployed at what stage of a given snow event, and the result is a city whose roads are usually quite usable during and after the largest of storms.
Here in London, our winters are far less severe. But the city seems to have no snow clearing capability whatsoever. Streets are ignored for weeks at a time, sidewalks accumulate dangerous layers of snow and ice. People have accidents - in cars and on foot - that could have been avoided.
I'm amazed the city hasn't been sued more often.

When all is said and done, it comes down to love

2007-02-14T21:27:00.000-06:00

Well, it is Valentine's Day - the day of love, hearts, flowers and candy. I've certainly had more celebratory Valentine's Days in my past - more "romantic" or "special". If I had to label this day, I would call it the "year of superglue" Valentine's Day. Because, this year, more than any so far, Champs is glued to my heart.

You see, this has been a very hard last 5 months. If you read my blog, you know that. Well, this week seems to be the topper. On Monday, I contacted the guy who is supposed to be heading up my big new freelancing opportunity and was basically given the brush off, i.e. "you're in our network of valuable writers and we'll call you when we're ready. Until then, leave me alone" type of thing. This has caused me to re-think the freelance thing. I still want to do it, but I will have to get a good full time job and then start the freelancing slower and safer in order for it to work for our family. This was a blow to my emotions, as you can imagine.

Then. later in the day, Champs was laid off from his job. They had to let the 6 newest guys go, regardless of job performance due to business slowdown. Champs' supervisor was sad to see him go, but that didn't stop them from sending him home at 6:00. This was an even bigger blow to my emotions - and Champs', too, of course.

Oh, and then we got the biggest snow storm in recent history on Tuesday morning. 10 inches of snow by5:00 p.m. and they still haven't plowed our street and school is still closed. I got back to work today but stayed home yesterday, mostly to wait out the worst of the snow and to apply for jobs online.

Today, this man I love and who I consider more self-less than anyone I know, braved the snow to go out and apply for jobs and still found the time to snowplow three of our neighbors out of their snowbound driveways. I know it's not flowery, but it is one of the things that makes me love him so much.

So why the glue thing? Well, through all of this, I have marveled at how well Champs and I have treated one another. We aren't given to yelling, calling each other names or otherwise snapping under stress. We tend to pull together and talk things out under the covers. Even though all this stuff is going on, I know he loves me and I love him. Regardless of our employment. Regardless of rent. Regardless of our lack of money. Regardless of my wish for my old "secure" job. Even though I don't know how we're going to pay the rent and the heat and the other bills, I do know that he'll be with me, holding my hand, praying with me, treating me with love and respect and trying for all he is worth to make it work for us.

And that, my friends, is superglue.

Here are some comments from this post:
utenzi said...
That, my dear girl, is what it all comes down to. Sticking together when all that **** outside is trying to tear things apart. You both have something wonderful together, BG.
Happy Valentine's Day, Blond Girl. Even if the times are bad it's good that you can look at one another and realize that you already have all that you need.

9:51 PM
Blogger Ginger said...
What a poignant post. I will definitely be keeping you and Champs in my prayers. You are so blessed to have each other...both in the good and bad times.

10:05 PM
Blogger slf1954 said...
You are both "super". You will make it through this just fine. When one door closes another one opens.

5:11 AM
Blogger GiBee said...
I just can't get out of my mind the scripture that has been carrying me through these past few weeks ... and it really seems to apply here ...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
But, if you have a chance, and feel so inclined ... check out Jeremiah 29:11-14 ... because it is powerful! In fact, if I have a chance, I'll be blogging about it in the next few days.
In the mean time, I'm going to be lifting "Blond Girl and family" up in my prayers!

9:36 AM
Blogger Carmi said...
Your strength in the face of life's challenges is inspiring to me.
Champs: he'll easily find something even better. Anyone with a work/life ethic like his (looking out for others before taking care of his own needs) will do fine.
Freelancing: I'm learning that a successful career in this space depends on connections with more than one potential source of assignments. That way, when one goes silent, you lean more on the others. That takes time to build, of course, because it's all based on networking and relationship building. But please don't give up because one source has gone temporarily silent. You can do so much more for so many others as long as you view this as a bit of a kick in the rear.
Adversity, as you so well appreciate, breeds ambition and drive. That's very very clear in your case.

Sarch said...
Blond Girl you've got Champs, you've got Sweet Thing and most of all you've got the Lord.
All three will still be there when the unemployment struggles are nothing but a memory.
Keep the faith my friend.

Heather said...
I'm sorry to hear that, Blond Girl. You'll all be in my prayers.

What you Ask For Vs. What You Get!

2007-02-07T23:15:00.000-06:00

Or, be careful what you ask for; you may get it!

Tuesday morning I awoke with the weatherman's warnings ringing in my ears: Snow. Lots of Snow. All Day. OK, I can handle that, I figured. But as I was brushing my teeth and encouraging Sweet Girl to get her clothes on, I groaned to Champs, "Oh, I don't want to go to work today!" Roughly three minutes later the phone rang; it was my mother-in-law, who we call Grandma Dee. She explained that her tracheostomy had become clogged and she had to remove it. In order to get it reinserted, she needed to see her Otolaryngologist in Springfield - 85 miles away. Guess what? I didn't go to work, but I also didn't curl back up in bed like I really wanted to do.

Since we had to wait for Grandma Dee's doctor to get out of surgery, we didn't need to leave until 10:30. All the while, the snow was blowing and piling up. I picked up Grandma and off we went. Now, I am a Minnesota girl and snow doesn't faze me, but this was amazing! For the first hour of our trip, we were in white out conditions. As we hit the highway, I prayed that God would give me wisdom as I drove, help us to arrive safely and keep our wheels on the road.

Within a few minutes, I was smack dab behind two semi trucks which added to the whiteout problem. They had the outside lane to themselves, while the left inside lane was covered in blowing snow and ice. I had no choice; I had to pass the trucks on the left if I wanted to be able to see anything. I tried for at least 15 minutes, but I couldn't seem to get past them. Finally, I dropped back. I couldn't see the trucks ahead of me or any vehicles behind me. Another car came up and braved the left lane and I went right behind, following their ruts. It was hard work; the car was vibrating with the wind and snow. My muscles got so tight, but finally I got past them. The difference was amazing; I could see!

We continued on the trip and the snow thinned out as we neared Springfield. I passed two tankers and was in the left lane. Thankfully, there were no other cars near us. That's good, because about three miles out of town, I suddenly hit a patch of black ice. In an instant, I went from driving to ice skating. The car spun 180 degrees to the right, careening across the highway. Just as we neared the right shoulder, the car turned and spun to the left, this time going a full 360 degrees. The whole time, Grandma Dee was whispering "JESUS!" (since screaming won't work when you have a temporary treacheostomy in your throat) and I was silent, just doing my best to steer into the skid and hold it together. We flew across all the lanes, back and forth as though the car were hitting invisible bumpers and bouncing off. After about 1500 or so yards, we finally came to a stop, facing forward, on the edge of the highway at the left shoulder. The car was fine. We were fine. Amazingly, we didn't go into the ditch. After a few moments of just breathing and thanking the Lord, the two tankers went by and honked as if to say "good show!"

Grandma Dee broke the silence by reminding me, "well, you prayed that He would keep your wheels on the road. He did." Yeup. I got what I asked for - kind of. Next time I'll pray that, in addition to keeping my wheels on the road, He keeps them going forward! As I eased the car back onto the road, we marveled at how we had been protected. I drove around a bend where we could see a horrible sight; a state trooper and a tow truck were flanking a van resting on the right shoulder with the side completely crumpled in and the door ripped off. Truly, we had no words. We shook with gratitude, fear and wonder the rest of the way to the hospital, knowing that the hand of God had kept us safe.

When we got to the hospital and clinic, I had the car parked by valet parking (a very nice service for patients) and we went up to see her doctor. We got in right away, but the doctor explained that, in order to insert the proper trachea tube, she would have to put Dee under general anesthesia; surgery - and not until sometime after 4:00. Ugg! With the weather we were facing, I had wanted to be back on the road home in daylight. No way that was happening. I called Champs and we decided that, rather than heading back home in the dark and bad weather, I should stay in Springfield. I hadn't brought anything for an overnight, but oh well. I made a reservation at a local hotel and planned to stay with Grandma through the surgery.

Now, this part is a bit complicated, but basically, prior to yesterday's issue, Grandma Dee has needed to have a new special type of trachea tube inserted. The surgery was planned for some unspecified time in the future. I asked the doctor if, since Dee had to go under anyway, she could go ahead and insert the special tube - kind of a "two birds with one stone" approach. The doctor agreed that this would be a good idea and planned for it. Problem: that tube is a special order, costing over $1000.00. The surgical staff scoured the supplies for the special Montgomery tube. They thought they finally found one at a nearby hospital, but it turned out to be the wrong tube. You guessed it: No surgery today. The doctor could have put in a different tube, but then she would have had to operate again anyway to put in the special tube. By the time the decision was made, however, it was nearing 7:00. The doctor admitted Grandma to the hospital to await surgery on Thursday and to monitor the condition of the temporary tube. See, there it is again. Be careful what you ask for. Now, I know the doctor would have figured it out herself, but I am the one who asked her to use the special tube and you see - I didn't get exactly what I asked for! Thankfully, Dee understood that the wait will give a better return in the long run and was able to deal with the delay with a great attitude.

I called Champs and told him I could come home then or wait until morning. I explained that I would have to go to CVS and buy some toiletries and a tee shirt to sleep in. He said that was fine; in the end, it was better to spend some money and get home safely than it was to risk coming home in the dark - especially after my double-donuts experience earlier in the day. He told me to go to the hotel, crank up the heat, say my prayers, get some sleep, and come home to him in the morning.

And that's exactly what I did.

And here are some comments from this post:
Star said...
Thank goodness you are okay. That whole experience must have been frightening.

Geekwif said...
I didn't realize from your text messages that it was that bad! I'm so glad you made it safely!

Linda said...
God comes through when we least expect it...
and He always gives us what is BEST for us...not what we want, but what we need.
Glad you're safe...hope you and Grandma Dee don't have any more problems....

kenju said...
WHOA! You are much braver than I am. I stay home in snow and ice, so as not to stress God out with incessant praying...LOL

Pat said...
Your Grandma is blessed to have a dear grand-daughter like you. But you shouldn't have to go through an ordeal like that. I have had some experience with tracheostomies and there should be a closer emergency facility. I'm assuming you are in the States?
Anyway you are a brave girl. Well done!

Madame Courtney Whiny Complainy Pants, Esq. said...
There's a comedian, Brian Regan, who has a bit about how hospitals should have valet parking. He'd be pleased to know that one exists out there.
Glad you made it through the snow. Hope Grandma's ok. Here via Michele.

Paul said...
Holy cow!
Springfield?
Missouri?
That's the kinda weather we had here in Pancake Flats, which is only a few hours from Springfield. It's Tuesday. We got 5 - 8 inches of snow last night. No fun on the roads this morning, but there's been so much wind today that the roads are almost dry. Go figure. It's brutally cold!!! Where's my coffee???
I'm glad you're home safe with your Champs. God bless.

Nine years with Champs

2007-02-03T19:33:00.000-06:00

Wednesday morning was a few days ago, but I still must mention it. It marked an important day for me and my family. It was the nine year anniversary of the day Champs and I met.

Nine years ago I was a thirty year-old woman who was quickly becoming frustrated with being alone and following the requirements of everyone around me, so I gave up on trying to find a husband and made some major changes. I threw out my "husband requirements list". I changed clothes, parties and attitude and decided to just have some fun for a change. It was in the midst of this revolution that I met Champs in a on-line chat room quite by accident. You never know what life has in store for you when you quit looking!

In Champs, I found someone beyond special. He didn't have most of the items on my list, but he was everything I've ever wanted or needed. We talked online for a month before we met in person. By the time I met him, I already knew I was in love - I just needed the final face-to-face to make it official. And though I quickly knew he was "the one", it has been the last nine years that have proven time and time again how right I was.

Champs spends quality time with me and Sweet Girl. Every morning for at least 5 minutes we snuggle in bed together talking, laughing and tickling. On Saturdays, this time can extend to an hour or more. Sweet Girl starts each day knowing that her father loves both her and her mother. I believe this is the best gift he can give her. Just the other day she told me that when she grows up and gets married, she is going marry a man like her daddy, who will treat her as nicely as he treats us.

Champs cooks, cleans and cares for Sweet Girl. I know many women who wish their husband would help around the house, but they don't. Or if they do, it is only to man the grill for a party or to watch the kids while Mom is away at a family emergency. Champs, on the other hand, has always believed that a marriage is a partnership in which the husband is just as responsible for the home and children as the wife. While I am responsible for the over-all running of the house, Champs willingly lends a hand whenever I ask - and often when I don't have the time to ask.

Champs is a great romantic. He tells me he loves me every day with words, notes, hugs and snuggles. He refuses to belittle, hurt or tease me in any hurtful way. He's never once called me fat, dumb, lazy or any of the other things other wives have had to endure from their husbands. He tells me I am smart, capable, "cute-n-stuff" and his dream girl. He gives me confidence when I lack it on my own.

Champs is consistent. Our move to IL has been difficult for me emotionally, professionally and financially. I struggle with it daily, wanting to cut and run back to Minneapolis. Champs reminds me of why we made this move and the benefits of being here. He doesn't try to gloss over my fears or pretend that everything is hunky-dory, but he does remind me that this is a journey of faith and trust. He prays with me and encourages me to keep going.

No, he's not perfect. There are some things that drive me crazy; just like there are things about me that drive him crazy (like always being late or constantly needing him to get things down for me that are too high). The point is that he is wonderful for me. And for Sweet Girl. And that nine years ago I met him - and on Wednesday morning, he gave me a poem that he wrote just for me to commemorate the occasion.

I love that man.

Here are some comments from this post:
Carmi said...
What a beautiful entry, BG. Happy anniversary to you both: you certainly sound as if fate has been kind to you.
It's hard to not smile and be inspired after reading this.

Ginger said...
What a sweet post! Happy anniversary of your meeting, to both of you. :)

kenju said...
Congratulations on the anniversary of your meeting Champs. He really sounds like a keeper to me.

Melli said...
Hey there Blond Girl! I just saw you over at Wendy Wings place and I just HAD to stop by to tell you how much I LOOOOOOOOVE your hat! (really... that's what brought me here!)
Happy belated anniversary! I hear more and more of these internet romances - and I gotta say that judging from the FRIENDSHIPS that I have developed on-line, I think it's a great way to meet a fella! ESPECIALLY when you're not lookin! Congrats! To you both!

carli said...
What a nice entry. It sounds like once you decided you were ready for reality over fantasy, you found what you were looking for all along. Congrats.

HolyMama! said...
he gave you a poem that he WROTE JUST FOR YOU....
there must be a husband award for him. a plaque. a medal. that is the sweetest thing next to your writing of this post.
sigh...

Thumper said...
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Here's to hoping that in 3 times the length you've been married, you'll still be gushing about him :)

kenju said...
Michele told me to come back, BG and as I reread your post I stopped at the line "Champs is consistent". How important that is in maintaining a relationship - whether just a friend or a mate!

Mr. Althouse said...
That's a nice story. Ok, I'm officially envious. I guess when the time is right, everything will come together.
Michele says, "Happy anniversary."
And so do I,
Mike

Pat said...
Sounds like you have found your true love. It took me many, many years. Dreams can come true

Paul said...
Happy anniversary. Nice post.
You left a delightful comment on my "Don't..." post recently. I consider it a compliment of the highest order. Thank you.

Gainfully Employed and Ready to Write!

2007-01-22T21:29:00.000-06:00

As I've already reported, I've decided after much prayer to become a freelance writer. I'll be starting by working with freelance communication company which has a service writing project with my former employer. The project will go for at least 4 months and will give me a great introduction to the freelance world. I chose freelancing over a possible office manager job at a local collections agency. It was actually not an easy choice to make since, while the office job didn't offer the best pay, it offered security, challenge and the promise of greater pay as I helped the owner make her business grow. Not only that, but working at the agency would allow me to learn from a highly motivated woman entrepreneur, who I came to respect very quickly. In the end, though, I chose to go with starting a freelance business and notified my employment agency that I wouldn't be taking the office manager job.

Now, the writing project won't start until mid-February to mid-March and I won't see my first paycheck until 4-6 weeks after we start writing. Because I've been unemployed since Thanksgiving, champs and I decided that I had to find a part time job to start now and through the beginning of starting my business. Thus, I've been searching for a part-time job with some pretty strict criteria. Since I won't need any child care for Sweet Girl once I am freelancing, I didn't want to find a job that would require me to put her into daycare for 4 weeks; that would only reduce my earnings and cause a lot of headaches. Thus, I needed a job in the mornings where I would be done by 2:00 at the very latest. I also needed a job that would let me work more hours now, but reduce my hours once the project starts. Finally, I wanted a job that would pay better than minimum wage (which, unfortunately, is what most jobs that met the first two criteria would offer). Lastly, I was hoping for a job that might have a bit of a fun factor. Although I am more than willing to stand at factory line and watch bottles fill (or whatever it takes to bring a check home), I was hoping to find something with at least some brain work.

Well, I started looking at options... Walmart cashier? Housekeeping at the hospital? Breakfast crew at McDonald's? I ended up applying at Panera Bread, which is near my house and would allow me to work early hours and be in a more active working environment (not to mention a yummy discount). On a lark, I also let my employment agency know that, while I couldn't take the office manager job, I would still love to work for the collection agency as a part-timer working on special projects that the owner and I had discussed. After a week, I had no response on that offer. On Thursday, Panera called me to ask if I could come in for an interview.

To today: I had an interview at Panera this morning. The manager wasn't in, so I interviewed with the trainer. He liked me a lot and told me that I "95% had the job". He just needed to confirm with his manager and then I could attend orientation tomorrow. I was pretty pumped up and headed home with a few bagels for Champs and I to eat for lunch.

We'd no sooner sat down to our bagels when the phone rang. It was the owner of the collection agency calling. She said that the employment agency had mentioned that I "might be interested" in working part-time and wondered if I still was and when I could start. I pretty much assured her that I was more than interested and could start tomorrow. She warned me that I'll have to start with "grunt work" to begin with, since she is still working on hiring an office manager and is currently down two admin assistants. I assured her grunt work was fine and I would have the hope of learning the business and then moving into project management for her - an option she wholly endorsed.

Here's the offer she outlined: I would be able to start with more hours now and then reduce them later as needed. Also, since she already knew that I chose the freelance career partly to be home more with Sweet Girl, she said that she would arrange my schedule around Sweet Girl's school schedule - and we could deal with summer when we got there. After that, she paid me one of the greatest compliments I've ever received. She explained that, before I decided to work on freelancing, she had her heart set on me as her office manager, since she could tell I had great skills and energy. It was because of this that she wanted me part time and that she was comparing her office manager candidates to me. How nice - and humbling(!) is that?!?!

Well, of course I said "yes!" and "thank you!" I'll be starting at 8:00 tomorrow. I won't be earning as much as I would have as the Office Manager, but my boss said that after 90 days, she will give me a raise and begin moving me to a project manager. She is totally on my side in starting my freelance business, but understands that I need security to fully make the switch.

Can you even believe this? I mean, this is the "more than you can ask, think or imagine" that you hear about when the Bible talks about God's ability to answer prayer. She called me, pinpointed my exact needs, promised to let me work with my talents and offered continued security as I start my freelancing company. Not only that but if, for some reason the freelancing thing doesn't work as well as I hoped, I still have this company to move to full time - with all the things that made it an appealing option when I was trying to choose between the two. And, oh yeah, she also wants to be one of my freelance customers...

How good is that?!?!?!

Woo hoo! Come March, I'll be paying the rent, not my IRA. Thank you Lord!

Grandma Bobbi, the Bypass and the Roadtrip

2007-01-21T00:27:00.000-06:00

Carmi just dropped by to ask how my mom is doing. I got the biggest smile to think that someone outside of the family is thinking of her. Thanks, Carmi! I am happy to answer that question and to share some encouraging and hopeful news.

My mom's surgery went well. Without going into a too medically detailed explanation, she had an artificial graft inserted into the left side of her neck to connect her carotid artery to her brachial artery, thus bypassing a large clot at the head of the brachial artery and restoring blood flow to her right arm and the back side of her brain. This has helped to stop both the pain her her arm and the dizzy spells she was enduring. She met with her surgoen last week. He is very pleased with the outcome of her operation and has given her the approval to travel. Woo HOO!

First stop on her interary? Well Blond Girl and company, of course! As of today, her plan is to leave on Thursday and stay with us for at least a month - and hopefully until after Easter. After that, she'll travel on to Texas to see friends and then to my sister's home in Phoenix to see my niece graduate from high school. Then she'll reverse her direction and head back to us. When she goes home in the spring, she'll have another bypass operation - this time in her leg. The surgoen wants to wait so that she can have the surgery when the weather is warm and she can get outside to walk slowly. When she goes home, she'll leave her small dog, Lucy, with us and then we'll take Lucy back to her when we go home to Minnesota to visit.

I expect that during the 30-45 days that she is here with us I will have my hernia repair operation. In 2003 - 2005, when I had my gastric bypass and resulting 3 surgeries to repair problems from the surgery, she lived with us and was a huge part of my recovery. I have to admit that having her here will be a great comfort to me and to Sweet Girl.

Oh, Sweet Girl! Just today we were driving around talking about something in Minnesota. I can't even remember what, but it triggered in Sweet Girl a great wave of homesickness for her Nana. I comforted her as best I could through her tears. I didn't tell her that Grandma is coming next week, because I don't want to say anything until she's on the road, but it made me so happy that she will be here. I miss her, Sweet Girl misses her and, yes, even Champs misses his mother-in-law.

So to answer your question, Carmi, she is well and heading this way! Yeeeeehaw!

Here are some comments from this post:
Sarch said...
Blond Girl I meandered in via Micheles and am glad I did.
What great news that is about your mother. You and Sweet Girl are very blessed to have her in your life. I am glad to hear you are aware of just how special she is. Being around you and the love you obviously have for her will help her in her recovery process much like she helped you in the past.
Good for her and good for you and Sweet Girl!

indigo said...
I'm glad to hear that your mom has recovered from her op, and that she's travelling to you soon.

srp said...
Here from Michele.
So glad to hear that your mom is doing well after surgery. And well enough to travel your direction. That little girl will have so much fun with her grandma.
Take care and good luck in your new venture.

PI said...
My goodness what a lot you and your Mum have been going through. All my best wishes and prayers for you both to make full recoveries and that the rest of the year will be a happy one.
I got entwined with you and Dave on Michelle's site:)

kenju said...
Not only will Sweet Girl enjoy your mom - I think it will help your overall state of mind to have her there too! Such good news, BG, and I happy for you!
I hope the snow doesn't impede your mom's progress!

margalit said...
What good news and such a fast recovery. Heart surgery has changed so much that it's just not the huge deal it once was. And that's from someone with in ICD implanted in their heart!

utenzi said...
I work in a cardiology department so I hear about operations like that frequently since they do other types of vascular surgery as well. Even when the surgeon considers it a routine surgery it's anything but routine to the patient and their family. I'm glad your mom pulled through her surgery with flying colors, BG, and I hope that she does just as well when she has her leg surgery too. Good luck with your hernia repair operation too, BG.

Carmi said...
Thanks for sharing the good news, BG. I'm so glad she's come through with flying colors. Kudos to her for heading out on the road and living life as it's meant to be lived. Sounds like you inherited her spunk.
Dave put it best, and he echoed my thoughts when our daughter had surgery at the age of 2: to the surgeons, it's routine. But when it's your [child, mother, close relation...] it's anything but routine.
I'm so glad your daughter will be able to spend so much time with her Nana. I'm so glad she'll be there for you, too. That's why we cherish family so much.

Toni said...
Hi Blond Girl! Hello from Michele, and she sent me!
This is great news that your mom is doing well. I may not know you, nor your mother, but I have a mom whom I love deeply. I hope her good health carries on!

Shannin said...
Glad your mom is recovering nicely and that she will be with you for the next several weeks...

Thirteen Shows Blond Girl loves and hates on cable TV!

2007-01-19T00:38:00.000-06:00

I can't remember the last time I really watched network TV... seems I'm always on the cable channels. So here's some thumbs up and thumbs down in no particular order...

1. LOVE: My absolute favorite: Good Eats!!!! (Food Network) Alton Brown is my crack, as Champs likes to say. Even if it's a food I don't like, I still enjoy the show. Alton put the "kitsch" into kitchen.

2. HATE: Football. (ESPN) But I put up with it because I love my man.

3. LOVE: Designed to Sell (HGTV) I get such a kick out of seeing how much the houses improve and how quickly they get offers after the work is done. Besides, Lisa LaPorta is so stinking short!

4. HATE: Buy Me (HGTV) Way too much drama for me. Just take the offer and sell the house already, you moronic complainers!

5. LOVE: 30 Minute Meals with Rachel Ray (Food Network) She's perky, she's smart and she welds a mean santuko!

6. HATE: Sponge Bob Squarepants (Nick) I don't know if it's his voice or his attitude, but every time I see that show I just want to run screaming.

7. LOVE: American Chopper (TLC) Yeah, I know it's a surprise that I enjoy a motercycle show, but I really like to see Paul Sr. and Paul Jr. doing their give and take over the latest design.

8. HATE: COPS (Spike TV) My husband loves this show and I just think it is the biggest waste of camera time out there. The idiots they feature on the show actually sign a waiver. That means they know they're idiots and they're willing to show the world. sheesh.

9. LOVE: What Not to Wear (TLC) If my friends ever put me on that show, I would SO lose all my pink tee-shirts. But hey, $5000.00 and the chance to hear Stacy say "shut up!" when she sees me... priceless.

10. HATE: The Barefoot Contessa (Food Network) I suppose I shouldn't dislike this show, but she just bugs the everliving daylights out of me!

11. LOVE: Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe (Discovery Channel) Gotta love a guy who is willing to sing opera while slicing a dead fish in half with a machete. Bring it on!

12. HATE: Man Vs. Wild (Discovery Channel) Put him in a mall on the day after Thanksgiving. If he can survive that, maybe then I'll watch.

13. LOVE: Iron Chef America (Food Network) Champs and I watch this every Sunday night. I dunno if it's Alton as the commentator, or the iron chefs or the secret ingredient, but we just love watching it and trying to guess who will win.

Here are some comments from this post:
Sabi said...
Our Mommakitty (who is blond) LOVES the "Good Eats" show! Do you think Alton Brown has any good cat food recipes?

amy said...
Love this list..I was addicted to Rachel and Paula deen forever but now I just watch it when there are recipes I can actually make

Caylynn said...
Cool list! I watch a lot of shows on Discovery, but none of the ones you mention. My favourite on Discovery is "Mythbusters."
Thanks for stopping by and have a good day!

Chickadee said...
I LOVE Dirty Jobs! Mike is so funny, sometimes obnoxious and it's just as much fun to watch the reactions of the people he is working with.
Thanks for stopping by my 13!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...
Alton Brown ROCKS.
The best was the day after we'd seen the Good Eats about soy sauce and were standing in the grocery, reading the labels on soy sauce, looking for the kind with only soy sauce (as opposed to other additives). Another man who was shopping overheard us and switched brands to the one we picked!

Christine said...
I'm not familiar with some of these shows. I do love What Not To Wear, and live in deathly fear they will show up on my doorstep some day.

Thumper said...
I've never figured out the appeal of "Buy Me." You don't take anything away from it other that the people either sold their house or don't.
But I do love "Designed to Sell." You can actually learn stuff watching that. Plus, I like Clive ;)

Jeannine said...
I don't even have a TV!!
Happy late TT!
Jeannine

princssis said...
Great idea for a TT! I'm glad you're writing about something fun again!
I have to admit, we are similar in yet, another, area!
CJ absolutely loves Mythbusters!

Geekwif said...
I've never seen most of these shows since I don't have cable. I saw one episode of what not to wear at your place a long time ago. I love before and after stuff, so I'm sure if we had cable it would be a favorite.

Thumper said...
OK, I watched another episode of "Buy Me" at 2 a.m. (couldn't sleep, figured that might do me...) All I wanted to do was reach through the TV and slap the boogers out of the lady trying to sell the house.
Maybe that's the appeal. Feeling superior. I watched and was pretty sure a 10 year old would come across better than the whiner showcased on that episode.

utenzi said...
There's a few shows there that I've never watched but I agree with you almost 100% on those that I've seen. The motorcycle show is an exception. Bores me to tears. And while I adore Rachel Ray's cute little face she's getting a mite overexposed. She's almost to the point where I run away whenever I see her on the tube.
I used to like Barefoot Contessa but that was years ago. Now she just strikes me as kinda creepy in a weird way.

Carmi said...
Cool how your list would almost match mine. I don't watch a lot of television - no time these days - but I still like to keep up on what I like and dislike. There's a lot of garbage out there today, but a wise viewer can find the few gems that, in my view, are better than anything broadcast in recent years.

Mr. Althouse said...
I'm with you on American Chopper and Cops. But I don't watch too much TV generally.

Blond Girl, Know Thyself

2007-01-18T00:53:00.000-06:00

I was talking to my neighbor, Star, the other day when I realized that she knows me in a way that no one ever has before - including myself.

Since I graduated from high school eons ago (ok, 23 years ago - OH Lord!) I have worked as someone's employee. The only breaks I've taken were three dismal months of unemployment when I was 21, three blissful months of unemployment when I got married and chose to spend time getting to know my husband and three enchanted months of maternity leave when we welcomed Sweet Girl to the world. The rest of the time (various medical leaves aside), I have gotten up in the morning, dressed, dropped off my child and gone to do the bidding of "The Man". In fact, I worked right up until two days before we moved to Illinois.

For two months after we moved here, I worked part-time. I dropped my child off at school and then came home in time to pick her up or meet her on our street as she walked home. It was an unusual benefit to not worry about finding a daycare that would offer an after school program. While I worked part-time, my transition to "dis-corporated" began.

Almost two months ago now, I stopped working part time and started looking for full time work. Normally, I wouldn't leave a job without another one to replace it, but I did it to accommodate my employer. I expected to work temporary while I found a new job. Turns out that there is nearly NO temporary work in this town. I've worked once since Thanksgiving. Each week has been a deepening of my faith and belief that God has a plan for our family... And my search to find it!

During these two months of continued "dis-corporation", I've been a mom. I've been a neighbor. I've been a homemaker. For the first time, I understand what it means to do laundry during the day while I clean the kitchen and wait for my child to come home from school. I've experienced going out for a cup of tea with a friend for the fun of it. I've been able to get up and go shopping with Princsiss at the drop of a hat. I've been able to take the time needed to get our finances in better order than they've ever been before. Most of all, I've been home for Sweet Girl every day. I help her with her homework and read stories. We play games and talk about what to have for dinner. If it weren't for the constant money worries, I would totally love this lifestyle.

Who is this woman?!?!!

In the midst of this identity/financial crises, the answer to LOTS of prayer came: I started the year with four job possibilities, then three and quickly narrowed them down to two, as I wrote about in my last entry. Champs and I have discussed the options 9 ways from Sunday (that, my friends, is a "Midwestern colloquialism") and together we determined a plan of action. The decision is final now. I am a freelance writer. Who knows? I may fail spectacularly and in five months find myself right back where I am now, looking for a job. I don't think I will, though. I have the organizational and strategic skills to run a business and the passion and talent to write. As the stereotype goes, now I'll be able to work in my pajamas. Well, kinda. It will be awhile before the project I'll be on will start and I even longer before I start getting paid. Therefore, I must find a part time job to work now and as I start my business. I'll drop it when the time is appropriate.

As I make this transition from someone else's employee to my own boss, I am becoming acquainted with a woman I've never known before. I will be able to be relaxed where before I was stressed. At the same time, I will have to exert a control on myself that before was structured by my employer. I won't be able to drop everything and go shopping at the drop of a hat, but I won't need to get anyone's permission when I need a day off. I won't get paid sick pay, but I will also probably work many times from my bed when I'd rather be sleeping. I'll be the marketer, accountant, manager and writer all in one. It's mind-boggling, actually.

I'm afraid this post has been a bit of a rambling stream of thought. I can't help it. Each new thing I learn about this journey I've embarked upon is like holding up another mirror to see if I have that quality in me. Check back with me in a year. I think by then I will have become a totally different woman. I wonder if my friends in Minnesota would recognize me?

Probably. No matter what I do, I'll always be Champ's wife, Sweet Girl's mom, a devoted Christian and, oh yeah, let's not forget: The Blond Girl.

Here's a few comments from this post:
princssis said...
Glad you found yourself. God knows what He's doing. If you had this opportunity when you first came here, do you think you would've been as open to the idea? Maybe you needed time to transition into it. The lifestyle, I mean. Realizing what it is like to be home for your child and relaxed! As I've told you privately, even if this isn't as lucrative as you hope, the fringe benefits are worth trying! God Bless!

kenju said...
I think you have made a great decision. You can write very well and it may take a while to land a free-lance job that can show off your talents, but I think you have what it takes to do it! Good luck!

Anonymous said...
Woo hoo! I'm so glad you're taking the leap, and I'm looking forward with great anticipation to getting to know the new you! I know all the most important parts of the old you will always be there.
(...9 ways from Sunday? I'm about as midwestern as they get, but I don't know that one.)

Star said...
Good for you.When one door loses, another one opens, but you still have to walk through. My mom used to say "six ways from Sunday"

Carmi said...
I'm proud and impressed to see you evolve in this way. It's a place and a transition that is all too familiar to me. So if there's any advice I can offer to help you in the days or months to come, please feel free to drop me a line.

Help me swim, please!

2007-01-13T23:19:00.000-06:00

When I was a young girl, I lived about three miles from a local outdoor pool. Jennie and I would bike to the pool and play nearly everyday. We would swim, buy treats, play and eventually bike home at the end of the day. I explored every inch of that pool - up to three feet, that is. You see, I couldn't swim. Swimming wasn't high on my list of priorities, since I had nearly drowned twice when I tried things like the high dive and racer-diving.

Fast forward to seventh grade swimming. Each day, I paddled clumsily back and forth across the shallow end, while my class mates swam with confidence through the entire pool. It didn't take long for me to get pretty fed up with my cowardice and I made a choice. I figured that with 2 teachers and 30 other students present, the worst that could happen to me was a bad case of embarrassment. So resolved, I walked to the deep end and threw myself in.

I came up swimming.

After that, I was a swimming fool and went on to three years on the synchronized swimming team. Well, I'm standing at the deep end again, contemplating throwing myself in. Will I come up swimming? Here's the deal:

Back in Minnesota, I was Communications Specialist for a large financial services corporation. I wrote pretty much everything for my department. Service letters, web page material, phone scripts and special project letters. I really loved what I did and it was a boost to learn that my writing could be profitable, not just a hobby or a talent.

When we moved here to Illinois, I found that there are almost NO options for corporate writing, especially in the financial services arena. I've been unemployed since November and it's really been stressing me out (sidebar: I don't recommend doing Christmas unemployed). I have two very strong options for employment now and I have a choice to make.

My first option is a job as an Office Manager for a collection agency. The job will not pay much at first (less than $25,000 per annum), but the owner has some very high, yet attainable, goals. If I can help her achieve those goals, I know the money will come. It's a new industry and a new experience. However, I know I would do a great job at it. Consider it the shallow end of the pool; the safe zone.

Option number two is my junior high swimming class all over again - at the deep end of the pool. I have been approached by a freelance communications company who is working on a job with my old employer. Basically, they have successfully bid on a project to rewrite approximately 2000 service letters for the advisor side of the business. This is exactly what I used to do, only for a different, smaller department than the one I would be writing for now; in fact, I would be using the same correspondence and legal tools that I did as a Communication Specialist. Essentially, the communications freelance company is doing what I used to do - and I have all the inside info on style, brand, requirements and legal process. Taking on the freelance writing project seems like a no-brainer, right?

Wrong. It's like standing at the deep end of the pool and considering jumping in, regardless of my ability to swim.

See, I think I want to do this for my career. They say everyone has three or four careers in their lifetimes, so I am due for a change. At first I considered taking the $12.00 per hour office manager job and also working the freelance thing for 10-15 hours a week, but the Project Manager tells me the writing project is slated to go at least four months. Now I find that I am considering not taking the manager job and focusing only on the freelance opportunity. If I bid for 30 hours a week of billable time, I can earn anywhere from $50-75 per hour and spend the rest of the time learning the freelance business so that by the time the project ends, I have marketed myself and have a viable business. I must be realistic, though. The job won't start for nearly a month and I need money now. Not only that, but within 5 months, I could find myself right back where I am now - needing a job. I could throw myself into the deep end and come up swimming or I could come up coughing, needing to be rescued and suffering from a bad case of embarrassment.

Here's where you come in: I know there are a lot of writers and entrepreneurs among the bloggers out there. Are you willing to share your wisdom, experience, best advise, etc? Have you been reading my blog for awhile and have a comment regarding my writing? Have you ever started a business of your own? What was your deep end and how did you come up swimming? I truly want to know what you think. If you have a friend who you know would have an opinion, I want to know what they think. Feel free to give them the link to this blog and send them over. Oh, and if you have a longer opinion or thoughts that you don't want to leave in comments, just hit the "contact me" link on my profile to send me an email. Yes, I want your opinions that much!

I am excited. I am scared. I must be crazy, but I am standing at the edge of the pool with my toes curled over the edge and my heart beating in anticipation...

Here are some very encouraging comments I received on this post:
Lisa said...
I say go for the deep end! Ok so you might come up coughing and embarrassed... but then again, maybe you won't! And you won't know unless you jump.
Michele sent me today!

David said...
dive - swim - experience the whole of life ( collection agencies are scum!)
Pray hard and get thru this month with Temp work if you need it. make a move that thrills you, and utilizes your writing skills. I hope it all works out for you. Here from michele ( a wannabe writer)

Ruby said...
Thanks for your comment Blondgirl. I've been slowly coming out of the muck that I was in ( as you can probably well understand). As for your post, I can say that taking that leap of faith is probably going to be the most rewarding but the most terrifying thing you might ever do. It seems from the tone of your post though that you really want to do that though. So I think that you should. Good luck in whatever you decide and I will definitely be back to see how things turn out.

Anonymous said...
Jump. Just do it - if you don't, you'll always wonder, "What if..."
This is my first visit here (which makes it an ideal place to say Michele sent me!) and I have only read this one post. I'll say this about your writing - I'll be back to read more. That should say it all, but I'll spell it out anyway.
It doesn't take a huge writing sample to determine if one can write. Furthermore, that same small piece is usually enough to tell if said writer can keep my attention... keep me entertained. You have that.
I have written a little for a couple of newspapers, a magazine and some freelance. Although I am technically a "professional" writer (I've been paid to write), I don't yet have a great deal of experience. What I have is a lot of passion. If you have that, you can't lose.
Mike

Dak-Ind said...
jump.
honestly.
michele sent me

Star said...
Sorry . I have no expertise here. But I wish youluck making your decision. And I usually jump in the deep end. It keeps life exiting.

kenju said...
BG, you know I like your writing, otherwise I wouldn't be coming back here. I think you should take the deep-end-of-the-pool job. You already know you can do it, it will give you a great boost in the resume, it may lead to new and better things at the end of that run. You are young enough to dive in - not sit on the edge of the shallow end - where you would always wonder what if....?
Discover what you can do to make some quick money, and then don't look back.Good luck!

Anonymous said...
Jump in, girl! I know it's scary, but I also know you are incredibly talented and very able to do the job well.
My only concern for you would be that you are able to find other freelance jobs after this one is over. Can you continue working for the same freelance company after this project is complete? As we discussed before, there are other places you can go to get work too. You just have to do the research to find them.
As long as you are willing & able to do that, I say jump!

Anonymous said...
I say Jump. Not because I know that much about what's best, but because I hear in your post that your passion is in that direction. I believe one should take risks for one's passion.

Anonymous said...
Hi Catherine...Snow's Mom here.
I loved the post! This is a huge decision...lean hard on those who know and love you and really pray it through. I'd love to see the dream fly and I'd love to see some security for you. We're on your side!

Mitey Mite said...
One of the greatest gifts is doing work you love. When you have a job that makes you think, if I could afford it, I'd do this for free, your whole life is better. And you know what? Money and success follow that kind of passion.
Michele sent me, and I'm very glad she did. Good luck.

princssis said...
It looks like it's unanimous! JUMP! Looking at just the title of this post, I'd say you know what you want and just want others to agree and give support. I'm afraid trying to do both the office manager's job and freelancing will be too much and you won't be able to do both well. At least, without too much stress. It's a no-brainer for me. You have the skill and knowledge for the freelancing position and it will boost your resume. It's a great opportunity for a first assignment to work on a project with which you are so familiar.

Anonymous said...
Hey Here via Michele ;)
I started up a new business with a friend who I had been doing bits an bobs of work with for 7 Years an we jumped and it has been complicated and hard work and stressful but I would never ever go back.... ;)
Build yourself a strong corporate image and sell yourself heavily, believe in yourself beyond all reason and everyone will believe in you as well never let doubt creep in and you will go far ;)
Good Luck in all

Azgreeneyes said...
Jump in! At the very least, you'll get your feet wet (no pun intended!) and get your name out there more. Plus, who's to say that the company won't open up a spot for you? They will definitely at least have your number for future projects!

Carmi said...
I know I'm late to the party, but I hope I'll be able to share some insight here as well.
I speak from experience, as a writer who's made the jump from comfy corporate life to scary freelancing one. I'd never go back. The time you spend trying to get others to recognize your gifts can otherwise be spent focusing on building business relationships and delivering value. I know it sounds trite, but the first time you meet with a client and kick butt, you know it's all been worth it.
If you're afraid of taking too much of a chance, you could always do part-time office manager work, and then leave yourself enough time to get the freelance work off the ground. It's a difficult transition to manage: you balance the fear of being left with nothing with the fear of not grabbing the big opportunity at the moment that it presents itself.
I speak from the heart when I say that a writer's ultimate destiny is to write. And despite the security of a full-time job, the only real security seems to come from the nib of your pen.
I hope this has helped. Please let me know if you'd like to chat further about this. My ears and my perspectives are all yours.

MissMeliss said...
Here from Michele's this time.
JUMP IN.
I made the leap from a big financial company to freelancing, and while most of what I'm writing is web content, and kind of tedious, it feels good to be paid for writing, and not be tied to a phone.
Plus, I can work in my pajamas.
And this year, I'm going to get brave enough to write queries about my fiction as well.
Again, I say, JUMP IN.

11:37 PM
Blogger utenzi said...
Your writing is fine, BG. No worries there. However I don't know if your deep versus shallow analysis is on the mark. The free lance job sounds to me like it's not so likely to bring in the bucks you say it should. Given that, I'd say reject that possibility and go with the collection agency. However if you're totally convinced the $50 per hour aspect is true for the freelance, I'd say that's the one for you to pursue. My experience is that freelance might seem on the outside to pay very well, but when the money actually is counted at the end of the month it's just not there. I'd be very suspicious of that $50-75 estimate you have there, BG. Good luck to you either way!
Michele sent me over to watch you dive, BG.

wah, wah, whine, whine!

2006-12-14T00:27:00.000-06:00

If you're wondering where I've been, you can blame it on my mother.

Just Kidding.

See, when I was a kid, I was taught very consistently, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". The lesson stuck - and seeing as I talk quite a bit, I obviously found a lot of nice things to say (and safe places to say the not-so-nice things).

Lately, life has been hard - very hard - so I haven't been writing much. Like I said, if you don't have anything nice to say.... But so many of you have stopped by to hope that I am well and say Hi that I figured it might be time to be a bit transparent and see if unloading will help at all. So, if you don't want to hear me vent, then stop reading now.

Before we moved to Illinois, we tried to find good jobs, but were unsuccessful. So, we started looking when we moved here. Champs has been working in a warehouse for about three and a half months now. He is doing well; in fact, he was promoted to auditor within 3 weeks. There are only three problems with this:
1. He never got any compensation for the promotion. He earns about $8.00 less per hour than he did in Minneapolis.
2. He isn't exactly fond of the work, but will continue to do it for as long as needed.
3. The worst is that he works second shift (3:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.) everyday. This means that we never get to see him. Especially Sweet Girl, who gets home from school 20 minutes before he leaves for work. Monday through Friday, all she gets is 30 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes after school. Last week I held her for half an hour while she cried over missing her Daddy. I would like to explore some options for starting a beading business, or maybe sell Longaberger or just be able to go out at night, but since he's working evenings, I can't go anywhere very often.

As for my employment, I have a different problem. I am a Communication Specialist by trade. I write for corporate service issues and I am darned good at it. Before we moved here, I worked for a major financial services corporation. When I am working, I partner with Marketing departments by making sure they offer realistic promises in the sales materials. They make the client purchase the product or service. Then I take over and, with my service writing, make the client glad they purchased the product or service. In short, Marketing gets the client; I keep the client. I love what I do. The problem is, I haven't been able to find work in my field here in Champaign. There aren't enough corporate departments and I haven't found the magic key to unlock the few doors that do exist - though I am looking.

For two months after we moved here, I worked for a financial advisor as a Planning Assistant. My boss loved the 7 years experience I had with the home office and my two NASD registrations, so he offered me a part-time job. I took the job and with it a 60% cut in pay and no benefits. But, I was home with Sweet Girl every day after school and it was nice to be an "almost-at-home" mom for the first time since she was born.

A month after we moved here, I developed another incisional hernia from my gastric bypass three years ago. I need an operation to repair the hole in my abdomin. Problem: No medical insurance or benefits. I approached my employer to let him know that I would need an operation. Eventually, Champs and I decided that I need to work full time with benefits to allow him to find another job and so that I could have my surgery. I explained this to my boss, who understood completely. His problem: one of his Paraplanners is going on maternity leave in January. I was brought on to be there while she was out of the office. I couldn't see making him pay for my short-sightedness and I understood that he needed a trained Planning Assistant before January, so I told him to find a replacement. I decided that, when he found a new employee, if I didn't have a job yet then I would leave and work temp. He did find a replacement rather quickly and as of November 23, I was out of a job. This is the first time IN MY LIFE that I have left a job without having another one ready to go. Well, OK, the second - but the first time I left my job to get married. That's another story all together.

I registered with two temp agencies right after Thanksgiving. As of today, I have worked exactly once for $8.50 an hour - in spite of calling in every day asking for an assignment. I have been on one job interview as a Planning Assistant and submitted countless applications. So far, no one else has called (though Monster.com has generated a number of offers from companies who want me to pay for the honor of selling their merchandise. Whatever). I had to take money from my IRA just to make expenses for our family this month. By comparison, my best friend in Minneapolis is also working temp. She's earning over $14.00 an hour and doesn't have the same professional skill set that I do.

In Minneapolis, I was worth $43,500K a year (before benefits); $23.50 or so an hour. Here I am worth $8.50, if I am lucky. Champs and I talked about me getting a retail job over the holidays but decided against it since I would have to work weekends (which is the only time we are together anymore) and evening hours. This would mean paying for childcare, which would eat up whatever I was able to earn anyway.

Add to that the fact that I still don't have insurance, I still have a hernia and I still need an operation. When I left my last job, I left my FMLA protection. You have to be in a job for a year before you have that, so my operation schedule will be at the mercy of my new employer unless I somehow figure out how to get good medical insurance prior to starting a new job, in which case the FMLA issue won't apply.

Now add this: I am diabetic. I need pump supplies and insulin. I bought as much as I could under my previous insurance, hoping they would last until my new insurance was in place. They are running out now and extremely expensive. Also add that Champs should have had a blood test and a an eye checkup two months ago and you can understand my frustration.

I know what you're thinking: "well, aren't there low-income insurance options available to you?" Yes, there are. However, there are a few problems:
1. The plans available either cover hospitalization only or offer a medical card. The doctors in town won't accept the medical card offered, so it is basically good only for pharmacy and hospitalzation. No doctor's appointments or surgeon payments.
2. The price will be considered not on your current income but on your last tax statement. Remember, I took a 60% pay cut. Champs took around a 10-15% pay cut. Won't matter; they look at what we used to earn. Therefore, it will hardly qualify as a low-income option.

That leaves private insurance, which I have considered. However, any private insurance I've considered is highly expensive and has pre-existing condition blockouts. The very things we need covered are ALL pre-existing.

So, to recap: We are living on a current income of $20,800 and don't have insurance. I am home. Not working. Worthless. And we have hardly any money. Not enough to cover everything, that's for sure.

Oh yeah, there's more: My mom went in for angioplasty of a blocked carotid artery at the end of November. When the surgeon got in there, he found that the blockage is nearly complete and cannot be cleared by angioplasty or a stint. He is performing a brachial arterial bypass on her on December 21. Mom, who I haven't seen since I moved in August and whom I miss horribly, was supposed to have come to visit for Christmas. Now she can't. But, since I'm not working anyway, Champs said that Sweet Girl and I should head home for her surgery. Weather permitting, we will leave on Wed the 20th, be home for her surgery on the 21st and head home on Saturday the 23rd so that we will be back here for the family Christmas.

It all boils down to this: I feel worthless and I miss my husband. He is trying hard to find a full time first shift job that is worthy of his talents and skill set (he is horribly over-qualified for his warehouse auditor job) and I am trying to find work as a Communication Specialist, Project Manager, Compliance Officer or something else that makes the most of my skill set. I don't know when things will change.

I've avoided saying much of anything. I've hardly talked to my friends in Minnesota because every time they hear what I am going through, they say the same thing: "move home!" Well, I can't. We made the decision to move for reasons other than money, and those reasons have not changed. Sweet Girl is thriving here and Champs is happy to finally be with his family. Princsiss and I are forming a great friendship. Not to mention, we used all - every.single.cent - of our extra money to move here. We don't have enough money to move back, even if we wanted to. Champs and I have talked it over almost countless times now. I ask him the question, "Did we make the right choice?" The answer, everytime, is yes. We made the right choice. Champs and I have faced some really hard times in our marriage and we will face this. Head on.

I can't tell you how much I miss my mom and my job. I miss my security, I guess. I mean, isn't that what your mom is? Security? And your job? Yeup, security. I've been like an ostrich with my head in the sand. This has been so hard on me that I've drawn away from everyone and everything. I've allowed myself to become emotionally paralyzed by this. When I really think about it, I can't breathe. It actually physically aches. The only way I know to combat this is to pull my head out and face it... No matter how hard it hurts. I don't know the answers here. I'm not really looking for answers. I am looking for endurance, patience, faith and trust.

In the end, this is a season. Somehow, it needs to improve. It must improve. I am used to jobs freezing in my profession every year-end when budgets are over-stretched. The job market should open up early next year and I will find more creative ways to let the business world know that I am here and I am a great employee. I'll find more doors and hopefully the keys to open them. Champs will find a first-shift job that he enjoys. Somehow this season has to end.

But until it does, here's what I have to say: wah, wah, whine, whine!

Here are some comments from this post:
Anonymous said...
Wow, it sounds really, really tough. I completely understand about the security issue.
I will be praying for you.

Star said...
Hang in there Blond Girl

kenju said...
BG, you are definitely entitled to whine. I hope that all of your troubles will be settled soon, and that your surgery will be possible and successful, and that your mom does well with her surgery too. Keep your eyes on the end result of all this and don't let credit cards get the best of you.
Check with some of the service agencies in your area for the diabetic supplies; you may be able to get help with that.
I wish you luck and don't lose hope!!

heather said...
Some of the drug companies have programs to supply drugs at a very low cost. Check with some of the pharmacists in your area to see if they know of a company that offers assistance.
Hang in there, Blond Girl.

Paul said...
Sign up with every headhunter and temp agency in your area. You have to sign up with several because only one out of 20 will tell you the truth. SIGN UP!! I was/am registered with about 20 here in The Big City. I kept copious notes for every phone call, note, e-mail, interview and so forth. Consider adding other job capabilities to your resume and applications: Tech Writer, Copy writer, graphics, "Documentation Specialist." That sort of stuff.
I hope you and your family have a happy Christmas. Blessings.

gift4gab said...
Hang in there - ultimately, this too shall pass and you will only be stronger for it. Chin up!

Corina Bowen said...
Hello! Also check with local ministries. I know that our ministry has resources in our city for medical, food, rent, bills, etc.. We have a "master list" with contacts on just about every need. If you want to email me I can do some digging on my end to see what we can come up with!
God Bless!
& Merry Christmas!!
~In Christ
Corina

kenju said...
Merry Christmas BG. We are holding you in our thoughts and prayers.

Linda said...
I have a friend in Champaign...I am going to email her your bloglink - maybe you and she can get together and you can brainstorm for jobs...she's been in that area for a long time.
She's on vacation right now, tho, but she should be back after the 1st.
I pray that everything works out for you and your mom and your family.

Paul said...
And now I stopped by to wish you and yours a very Happy New Year.

MissMeliss said...
You said the words yourself, it's a season, and it will pass, and things will improve.
Much respect,
Melissa

Carmi said...
You have an immense amount of strength from simply sharing your life as you have here.
You have opportunities because of your skills. Corporate freelance work will ultimately give you the flexibility you need to move forward. You have to believe in yourself now, as this will help you get through the turbulence until you can regain traction on the work front.
We'll talk...

What a wonderful weekend!

2006-11-16T01:48:00.000-06:00

Well, if you've been checking in to see when I would post, your wait is over. If you read my blog last week then you know that my best friend, Geekwif, my good friend, Snow's Mom and my daughter's best friend, Snow White, were planning to arrive on Friday for a reunion weekend.

I wish I could express how wonderful this last weekend was... I could easily write thirty paragraphs and bore you to tears and still not convey how great it was to have the three of them here. My faithful readers will remember that we moved to Champaign from Minnesota three months ago now and Sweet Girl (SG) is thriving in all things, except missing her grandma, her godmother (Geekwif, you know) and her best friend. It turns out the feeling was mutual. Snow White (SW - I call her that because of her beautiful porcelain skin, glossy brown hair and doe eyes) was struggling mightily with missing her Sweet Girl (who, in this particular company, becomes Cinderella due to her flaxen hair and deep blue eyes). Snow's Mom, being a wise woman, decided the best course of action was to come for a visit and bring along Geekwif. Give that woman a medal! We decided not to tell either 6 year-old SG or 4 year-old SW about the weekend. We are smart women who knew that we would not be able to live with our children's excitement levels if we did, so neither of them really knew what was happening until they met at the front door. Amazing that Geekwif and Snow's Mom managed to keep her in the dark for the 10 hour drive!

So, day by day:

Friday: Do you have any idea how hard it was to contain my own excitement and not spill the secret to my daughter?!?! Auugh! Add to it that Friday was a no-school day and you get the idea... Long day of anticipation. When they got here, I had SG answer the door. I think she was in shock! I expected jumping and screaming. Instead, she grabbed SW's hand and took her on a tour of our house, starting with her room! After that, we all went to Za's, an amazing semi-fast food Italian restaurant here in town. I think they were converted at first bite. I know by the end of the visit they were trying to figure out how to get one of them in Minneapolis. Well, fresh garlic, Italian sausage, white wine sauce, grated parm... All for a great price. What's not to love?

Saturday: When we planned the trip, I had the great idea to get the girls Disney princess costumes, which I picked up at Wal-smart. Sweet Girl as Cinderella and Snow White as, well, Snow White, of course! We took the girls to Sears (there is only one in this town and it has the best decent-priced portrait studio around) for a photo shoot. The girls loved every minute of it. We did a set in street clothes and then pulled out the costumes. Ah, our little princesses! What fun.

After the photo shoot and the agony of choosing what we needed without buying every. single. pose. they. shot, we took the girls to lunch and then to the carousel for a ride and the wishing well to toss a few coins.

Later, Champs and I brought home LaBamba - the best Mexican food in Illinois. We got the girls to bed and then sat back with some wine for a serious time of girl talk. Yeah, I needed it. Geekwif got a kick out of how quickly my white reisling wine hit me. What can I say? Since I had the gastric bypass and my gall bladder out, I am the Ultimate Lightweight!

Sunday: Champs and I took the ladies to our new church. They enjoyed themselves and gave our new spiritual home two thumbs up, which was a real booster for us. A highlight of our church time was when we picked up the girls from kid's church. While the children's pastor was reading the closing bible verse, SG suddenly cried out and jumped up. She had finally got her loose front tooth out - by pulling it out herself! She was smiling from ear to ear while bleeding down her chin. I think it freaked out Pastor Amy a bit!

After church, we had to go back to Za's for lunch. As I said earlier, Geekwif and Snow's Mom loved Za's! When we got home, we compelled the girls - and the grown up girls, to take a nap. After our much needed rest, Geekwif and I snuck out to go shopping at our local nursery/craft/home decor center while Snow's Mom was still sleeping. I can't begin to say how nice it was to be out practicing the rights of commerce with my best shopping buddy! It wasn't about buying, it was about looking at everything together and just.... being. We loved it. We loved it so much that we went back to pick up SW's Mom and go to Joanne's for, yes, more rights of commerce.

When we got home, we were just in time to start dinner while the girls played. Champs planned to grill a garlic-stuffed pork loin. I am here to tell you that my husband is an artist when it comes to the grill! That man is amazing! Add to that some lightly sauteed broccoli and smashed potatoes and you have a feast! The ladies loved it and Champs continued to secure his title as Grill Master.

Finally, we just sat around talking and drinking a bit more wine. We had to turn in pretty early since the gals got back on the road at 4:30 Monday morning. I hated for the weekend to end, but having them here refreshed me in a way that I can't explain. Perhaps it was having them here and getting a "stamp of approval" on our home, our city and our church. Maybe it was just getting a few hugs and maybe it was just the ability to be with my friends and not have to speak - just be. In any case, I needed the weekend more than I realized and it was wonderful.

And before I wrap this up, I have to give a TON of kudos to my wonderful hubby. The estrogen to testosterone level was 5 to 1 for about 72 hours. Most husbands would have escaped and left us to fend for ourselves. My hubby was the epitome of helpful; playing with the girls to let us have some lady time, cooking for us, listening in when it was time and giving us space when we needed it - as well as essentially giving up his weekend time with Sweet Girl and me. He is wonderful and I just wanted to recognize it publicly! Oh, and also a shout out to The Geek and Snow's Dad, who were both willing to give up their girls for the weekend. Thanks, Guys!

Here are Snow's Mom, me and Geekwif, enjoying ourselves on our last night of girl time:

Now I'm just counting the moments until this summer when we turn around go visit them!

Here's some comments from this post:
Geekwif said...
Very nice. Very nice indeed. I could not have summarized it better myself.
I was going to do my Thursday 13 on this subject, but I don't know if I'll get one up today. After a wonderful weekend of relaxation at Chez Blonde, the rat race has taken off in full force again.

Suzy said...
I am so excited for you that your bestest friend got to come visit! How fun and blessed is that? I'm so thankful my best friend lives only minutes from me. =)
Oh forgot to tell you....what a sweet picture!!

Carmi said...
What a heartwarming entry. It brought to mind what we went through when we moved away from our hometown of Montreal. Our son was two, and we knew no one here. My wife cried for months, and the loneliness was crippling.
Eventually, we found our footing in our adopted home. But it took visits like the one you describe here to convince us that we still had a network of support - it was just a little more stretched than usual.
Popped by from Michele. Good to e-see you again!

I want to want to

2006-10-31T00:52:00.000-06:00

I want to want to blog. Do you know what I mean?

I've been unduly stressed lately; another hernia, an unsolved insurance issue, a run to the emergency room with my husband, the "uninsured brush-off", the pressing need to find a new job and I could go on and on.

I want to blog, but right now I can't see the forest for the trees. I try to keep an upbeat, energized blog and if I were to be writing now, I would just be spewing much un-needed stress onto y'all (I've moved far enough south to loosely use that term now)and not helping myself at all.

I will try to come back soon. I will try to visit soon. I know that taking off like this is costing me my readership, which pains me greatly - you'll never know how much - well, Geekwif will - but I digress. I want to keep my readership - in fact, soon I'll be posting some stuff you'll want to read as it is a lot of helpful home-running info. But for now, I just don't have the energy. I want to want to blog and I want to keep you all entertained, but it may be a couple more days before I'm ready. Enough to say that if you're one of my readers, please say hi and let me know you're still out there.

I promise to bounce back.

I always do.

God helping me, that is.

Maybe I just need to get my hair dyed again.

Here's some comments from this post:
Tracie said...
Don't worry about your readers! We will keep coming back!
No one expects you to be perky and upbeat everyday of your life--your blog is about you, and you are a real person with good times and bad times and hurts and struggles and we all understand that!
Give yourself some needed pampering and we will see you when you are in a "bloging space"....
Hi! I'm still out here! :)

JaneB (a silent reader...) said...
Hi! We all have these grey patches - don't worry, I'll keep checking back to see if you're blogging again yet, and will remember you in my prayers

Geekwif said...
No matter the color of your hair, you will always be The Blond Girl. Hey, maybe we could have a hair dying party at your place in a couple weeks! Now that would be fun!

kenju said...
I'm here, BG. By the way, your blog function is not to entertain us. If you don't feel like blogging, or if you do it it isn't upbeat, so what?! We will be here when you come back, no matter what. I hope you are feeling better soon.

princssis said...
Keep your chin up! Like you said, God is helping you through all this, even if it seems he's not. Remember "Footprints"? God is carrying you now. Keep trusting in Him and you'll see how.
Getting a refreshed hairdo always helps lift the spirits.
I'm here! I'm here!

lilone7 said...
Hang in there all will work out. And you know sometimes it is alright to write about stuff that is not upbeat. I know about the time constraints for blogging all to well. Hope things settle for you.

Susan said...
Hey....I'm here if you need me! :)

Suzy said...
Nah....skip the hair dye and take a few days off girl! It's what you need to do, and those of us loyal ones will still be here. Loyal and true....yup we will! =)

7:25 PM
Cori said...
Hang in there! I really miss having you right downstairs where we could go talk and walk. Hugs!!

Not 41!

2006-10-10T18:45:00.000-05:00

As you know, it was my birthday a week or so ago and I said "this is where you all to tell me that I don't look 41". Paul challenged me to post of a picture of myself not looking 41. Well, I'm not sure how well I did, but here's the best I could get without a full-blown photoshoot or something:

So, if you think I look 41 (or, horrors, older!), then I guess I don't want to hear it. But if I look like a happy mom and at least still somewhere in my 30's, then you can feel free to boost my self-esteem. I guess this shouldn't matter so much to me - but that's what I get for marrying a man 7 years younger than me!

Speaking of marrying a man 7 years younger than me, yesterday was Champs and my eighth wedding anniversary. Looking back over 8 years, I can't get over how much the two of us have been through. We've suffered numerous family deaths, the loss of a baby, six moves (one out of state), too many job changes to count, 3 cornea transplants for John and something like 6 surgeries for me. Yeah, we've been through a lot, but we've also been through as much joy. Our little Sweet Girl and having each other have made all the mountains into small bumps in the path. I can't imagine going through this life with anyone other than my Champs! (yeah, this isn't a great picture of us, but it was our anniversary and it's all I have to offer right now.)

Finally, I got this one from Brony. The mission is to describe 5 weird things about myself. If you want to play along, consider yourself tagged! Here's my list:

1. I have double-jointed elbows. They pretty much freak people out when I demonstrate it.

2. I always count the clothes going into the washer. I never count them going into the dryer, only the washer. I don't know why.

3. I can't wink. My whole face scrunches up and Champs laughs his head off at me. It must be genetic; Sweet Girl has the same "scwink" (a scrunch and a wink) as I do.

4. I almost never cry for real life - I have to be extremely angry to cry. I mean, extremely unbelievably angry (for normal angry, I just get quiet). It's like a wall of safety for me. Instead, I totally cry for sappy movies. I think that's how I release all my pent up emotions.

5. I so NOT photogenic. Just look above - what you see are the best I could choose out of something like 15 tries. I look better in real life; photos usually aren't good at all. Thankfully, Sweet Girl doesn't take after me on that account; she takes great photos (I just don't post them 'cuz I think it's safest not to).

And here are some comments from this post:
utenzi said...
No way you're 41, BG. What kind of trick are you trying to pull here? Maybe 35...maybe.
It sure sounds like you and your family have been through a lot. I don't know why some of us have to go trough harder trials than others, but I guess you have the strength to prevail. I don't know if I could. I hope you have clear sailing from here on out, Blond Girl. Happy belated anniversary to you both!

Geekwif said...
a) SO not 41!
b) CUTE!! That is an adorable picture of the two of you! Happy anniversary!!
c) I've been meaning to do this meme for a while now, only the one I saw was 6 weird things. It's still sitting in my drafts, waiting to be completed and posted.

Paul said...
I know 29 when I see it!!!
Happy Anniversary.
Two good pics!!

HolyMama! said...
hi blond girl! and yeah, i mean GIRL! no where near 41 looking.
i've been afraid to come look for my literary meme tag.... but i'm going to scope it out now....
but BG! I'm not that SMART! Who said i was...?!

Suzy said...
Happy Anniversary and Birthday too! My birthday was a couple weeks ago, and...gasp....I turned 44! Ack!
I think you look awesome and your hubby and you look great together, too! =o)

Brony said...
Thanks so much. Sorry it took me so long to get here. I am working on yours now.
I have double-jointed thumbs, elbows and hips.
I can't whistle.
I think you're photogenic.

Susan said...
You are beautiful! :)

Heather said...
You look great. Happy Birthday. :-)

Thirteen Things about Geekwif

2006-10-05T17:27:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know I owe a real post and I will get there. I have been running all week. However, since I had to post my T13 and since she is so important to me, I thought I would tell everyone just a few things about why I am so glad that Geekwif is my best friend.

1. The way she makes me laugh - at myself, at life, at the good stuff and the hard stuff - Geekwif has a way of seeing the lighter side of anything.

2. She lets me get her hooked into my escapades. Take beading, scrapbooking, stamping... I got her hooked on those. In many cases, she has eclipsed me, but I still got her going.

3. She gets me hooked into her latest escapades - normally computer based. Geekwif discovered making tiles on the internet, and so she showed me. We both went nuts for a while. Just check out Tile Machine and do a search by artist. My stuff is all by Cathreeno and her's is all by Eight. It can be pretty addicting. Oh yeah, then there was the blog thing... yeup, she got me started on this... and on the T13...

4. Her loyalty. I have lost other friends when I ceased to be the "flavor of the day" or through petty arguments. Not Geekwif. We have weathered a couple of disagreements that might have made others walk away. However, she understands the value of a friend and has stood by. You could ask our friend, Little B - she and Geekwif have been close friends for something like 15 years now.

5. Her tenacity. Geekwif will not let the separation of a few miles change our friendship. Yes, it does mean we cannot go shopping together as often, but it does not change what her friends mean to her. See, Little B, who I just mentioned? Well, she moved to Tennessee 8 or 10 years ago. She and Geekwif are still very close, talking and e-mailing often and seeing each other anytime they are in the same town. I was extremely comforted by this when we were planning to move from MN to IL.

6. Her truthfulness. Geekwif is not an outspoken person and doesn't like to go to great lengths to make sure everyone knows her opinion. That said, she will speak the truth in love when it is needed. Case in point: The first couple of years of Sweet Girl's life, I was always morbidly afraid that she or Champs would die on me suddenly. It was on my mind constantly. Finally, Geekwif wrote me a note telling me that she hated to see me feeling the way that I did and observing that I watched E.R. consistently. She presented the possibility that watching families constantly dealing with the unexpected emergencies might be contributing to my anxiety. Then she left the ball in my court. I did decide to stop watching E.R. I still worry about my family, but the near constant barrage of worry has been greatly reduced, thanks to the wisdom of my friend.

7. We enjoy some of the same things - such as reading, shopping, beading...

8. We enjoy different things, but can share that joy. I am not much of a gardener; I seem to kill every plant I try to help. Geekwif, on the other hand, is a gardening fiend and loves to share her successes and ideas with me. She knows that I'll enjoy it for her sake, if not for my own.

9. Her view of God. When I need to talk about a particular issue, be it theological or spiritual and personal, she will hash it out with me. With Bible verses. And a love of the truth. We usually reach the same conclusion, but it is fun getting there. Also, no one I know has as much fun as we do planning our futures in Heaven... (tee hee)

10. She loves personality quizzes as much as I do! When we were younger, before the proliferation of on-line quizzes, we used to meet at my house of a Saturday morning and, over a brunch of eggs, cheese and avocado (yum!) do the latest quiz in "Glamour Magazine". We still remember the difference between a husband-husband and a boyfriend-husband.

11. Then there is the shared Longaberger obsession... we've been known to share bundled basket orders to save money. She used to be a consultant and I think I may have been her most consistent customer. I must have been; at last count, I've got something like 44 baskets around here... and don't even get me started on the pottery!

12. Geekwif is someone with whom I can share my fondest dreams and biggest hopes... and know they will be nurtured and held safe from the unwelcome scrutiny of gossip and jealousy.

13. We just click - it's our personalities, I think. Everyone has a certain personality type that works for them and our friendship bears this out. Geekwif has a personality that is actually a lot like my husband, Champs. And my personality is a lot like The Geek's (her husband). Sometimes we laugh about how much alike our marriages are, only flipped.

So there it is... 13 reasons why Geekwif is my friend (trust me, I could come up with more!) I pray she always will be my friend.

Here are some comments from this post:
Cheryl said...
You have an awesome friend! I hope I can find a friend like that :)

Geekwif said...
Okay, seriously, NOT worthy! But thanks so much for your sweet list nonetheless. It is true that we do share a love of many of the same things and the sharing is sometimes the best part. I mean, bead shopping – or any kind of shopping for that matter – is just not the same without you there!
(sniff sniff) I miss my friend! :(

Trish said...
Aww.. sweet. :)
And belated happy Birthday!

Faith said...
How awesome to have such a wonderful friend!!! You are both very blessed!!

Carmi said...
I feel inspired after reading this. You've written so poignantly about the power of friendship.

My Dad

2006-09-27T23:57:00.000-05:00

This is one of my all-time favorite photos. It encompasses emotions sweet and painful. I took it on September 18, 2003 at Our Lady of Good Council Cancer Home (hospice). Sweet Girl was three and about to face something she had never imagined: A world without a grandpa.

My mom is home in Minnesota tonight and I am thankful that she has good friends. They are taking her out to dinner and keeping her company. This is important today. You see, it was three years ago today that my father passed away after his second battle with lung cancer. And the first time that I haven't been with her for this day.

Today has been a day of memories; reminding my dad to kiss me at my wedding when he handed me to Champs... Telling him to go away when he asked me "how long are you going to keep me here? The Practice is coming on!" and I was in my 15th hour of labor... learning to forgive him for being harsh when I needed gentle and common sense when I needed silliness... Calling him when I got the big promotion at work and explaining that no, I wasn't going to get my own office and laughing at his respose; "oh, too bad. I thought you'd finally have a quiet place to fart!" (yes, that was my father's favorite passtime. Isn't it the favorite passtime of every dad born in the 30's?).

I miss my dad. My mom misses my dad. And I know Sweet Girl misses my dad. Sometimes she sits in her car seat in the back when the two of us are running around town and quietly talks to him, telling him what her day was like and asking if he is watching her from Heaven. It is sweet and heartbreaking all at once. If I could bring him back, I would. But he is happier now, not suffering and not bearing the embarrassment of losing his independence, as he did for the last month of his life. That's all he lasted after he was put into hospice: just one month in a wonderful Catholic home where they took great care of him and tried to help him maintain his dignity. In the end, though, I believe he chose life - and death - on his own terms and decided that he was ready to go. He had three strokes within a week and passed on a Saturday. I wasn't there; I was home waiting for Sweet Girl to wake up from her nap before we went to see him. I still regret not being there, but I spoke to him the night before he died, and I will hold that moment in my heart forever. When I went to see Mom at the Hospice that day, I took his wedding ring off his hand and gave it to her to keep. Then I helped to clean out all his belongings.

My dad was a rough man who spoke little and shared less. However, he let us see little cracks in his demeanor that let me know he loved us - and loved us lots. In her eulogy, my sister wrote that my dad once said, "you can never love too much". I believe his words and hope that I can model them for Sweet Girl and somehow convey them to my Mom, even though she is three states away this day.

Bye Daddy. I love you.

Some comments from this post:
princssis said...
You mean we spent 1:14:37 on the phone tonight and you didn't mention this to me? I'm so sorry you aren't with your mom today.
I, too have been missing my dad lately. As you know, it was 7 years ago on Sept. 9th that my dad passed. I was there. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't been there, cuz he wasn't. I sometimes wish my last memory of him was not him taking his last breath, but the face to face conversation we had the day before.
CJ will, just out of the blue, get upset that his grandpas have both passed. He doesn't understand why they had to die before he really got to know them (he was 2 1/2 and 3 when they passed). Memories of them are fading for him. We need to get out the pictures again.
(((HUGS)))

Ginger said...
He sounds wonderful. What a beautiful tribute to him. I especially liked the part about your own office being a quiet place to fart! :)

MissMeliss said...
What a beautiful tribute - funny and sentimental and sweet.

Anonymous said...
So sorry to read about your father. I can only imagine what it must be like. The story of SG talking to him brought tears to my eyes...